Death Battle!
by KieranDell1409
Summary: Two characters go in, one comes out alive. But who will it be? Find out right here, in my attempt at doing Death Battles.
1. Blake Belladonna vs Mikasa Ackerman

Episode 1: Blake Belladonna vs Mikasa Ackerman

**Author's note: Yay, new fanfic time. But wait, you guys didn't vote for this. Well…I've just really wanted to try these for a while, so that's what I'm gonna do. Before we begin, I'd like to lay some ground rules:**

**There will be spoilers. I will state what they are spoilers for in the author notes at the start of each chapter, so if you don't want something spoiled, don't read it.**

**Like in the actual show, all fights are random encounters with no prep time.**

**Fight will go until all opponents are dead. Anyone who would normally not kill will have these traits removed for that purpose.**

**I will only be using ONE version of the character (if they're a character with multiple versions/incarnations etc.) For example, if I use Batman, I could chose the Nolan trilogy version, Adam West version, DCEU version, Animated series, any version from the comics etc. I'd also like to state that I will have their opponent from the same medium (movie, comic, game, etc.), since often comic versions are significantly more powerful than movie versions. This is so I'm less likely to miss some obscure piece of information that MIGHT turn the tide of the fight, and keep things somewhat more even.**

**I want to make this rule as clear as possible: NOTHING THAT DEATH BATTLE HAS ALREADY DONE! EVER! I don't care if you think Goku should have beat Superman, I'm not going to do it. This rule is here to keep fanboys from demanding that I overturn results that may or may not get overturned. If you want to suggest someone who has already been in Death Battle, fine, but no match-ups from it.**

**I'm open to criticism if I get something wrong. But you have to explain it. Don't just say "[character a] one shots [character b]" with no evidence to back it up. Either provide a feat that proves me wrong, or shut the hell up.**

**Okay, I think that's about it. I'll add more rules later if I have to. Let's get into this.**

**Oh, and in case you haven't guessed, SPOILERS FOR RWBY AND ATTACK ON TITAN!**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** From Tarzan to Spider-Man, there's no doubt that swinging from places to place is a thrilling way to travel from place to place.

**Boomstick:** And these two lovely ladies make it look even more badass than normal.

**Wiz:** Blake Belladonna, Team RWBY's resident faunus girl and bookworm.

**Boomstick:** And Mikasa Ackerman, number one cadet of the 104th Training Corps. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cut._

**Wiz:** The world of Remnant is plagued by creatures called Grimm. With a threat as dangerous as this, you'd think the people would want to work together to stop these creatures, no matter what.

**Boomstick:** But nope, apparently if you have animal parts, you're considered too weird and should be discriminated against.

**Wiz:** These people are the faunus, and long ago the people of Remnant wanted to confine them to a continent off the coast of the mainland called Menagerie, which…didn't go as well as they'd hoped.

**Boomstick:** What did they expect? They're moving animal people to a place that literally means 'zoo'. Not exactly subtle, is it?

**Wiz:** War broke out, and at the end of it, the faunus were allowed to live among the humans…to varying degrees, depending on where you lived.

**Boomstick:** Damn, didn't think we'd be tackling a topic as heavy as racial segregation in the first episode of Death Battle.

**Wiz:** In the aftermath of this war, the organisation known as the White Fang emerged, meant to be a symbol of peace and unity between the humans and the faunus.

**Boomstick:** This…didn't work, leading to the group using more violent tactics.

**Wiz:** And one of their biggest supporters was cat faunus, Blake Belladonna.

**Boomstick:** At least, she was, until her boyfriend got all murder-happy and she decided to get the hell out of there. Good call really.

**Wiz:** But Blake's time in the White Fang was not wasted. While with them, she became a skilled guerrilla fighter, a master of stealth, and all around dangerous opponent.

**Boomstick:** And she does all this with the aid of her weapon, Gambol Shroud, which is a mixture of a katana and a pistol…wait, is that a RIBBON?!

**Wiz:** Indeed, Blake uses the ribbon to either swing the pistol part of the weapon around in order to attack from a distance, or she can set the weapon up to help slingshot someone across the battlefield, or even just to swing from place to place.

**Boomstick:** And she doesn't even need to unsheathe the katana, because the sheath is at least as sharp as the sword itself…wait, Wiz? Can we even include Gambol Shroud in the battle, seeing as how it was practically destroyed at the end of Volume 6?

**Wiz:** Well, we try to have characters at their peak, so removing such a major part of the character wouldn't make sense. Plus, I doubt she got THAT much stronger after her fight with Adam, so her peak would be a few minutes before that fight.

**Boomstick:** Cool, because I want to make my own version of that weapon, except with shotguns.

**Wiz:** Of course you do. Anyway, Blake's Gambol Shroud isn't the only thing she has at her disposal. She also has her aura, a sort energy that can act as a shield, amplify attacks, heal minor wounds, and neutralise damage taken.

**Boomstick:** Though that last one isn't really necessary with her, because she can create shadows to take the hit for her.

**Wiz:** Yes, many people in Remnant have something called a Semblance, a kind of superpower exclusive to that person. Blake's allows her to create illusions of herself that trick the enemy into attacking the fake while Blake either sneaks up on them, or flees.

**Boomstick:** Flee? Why would she? With all this stuff, she sounds like a badass.

**Wiz:** Well, Blake has admitted in the past that her default response to extremely stressful situations is to run away.

**Boomstick:** Like when she found out her boyfriend-mentor Adam was a mass murdering psychopath, or when her friends found out she was a faunus, or after Adam stabbed her and cut off Yang's arm. Man, she really does run away.

**Wiz:** But through the help of her friends in Team RWBY, she's started getting more and more confident, and when the chips are down, you can count on Blake Belladonna to back you up.

**Blake:** "I don't have a choice. I have people who actually care about me, and I promised I'd never leave them again. So I'm not dying now."

_Scene cut._

**Wiz:** Two thousand years into the future, humanity is on the brink of collapse.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, because for some reason the world is plagued by giant murder-happy monsters called titans, who will kill and eat you for the sake of killing and eating you. And if you're lucky, it'll be in that order.

**Wiz:** To stop the titans, humanity managed to wall itself away from them, and peace ensued for those who lived within the walls…for about a hundred years.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, it was right around that time that a Colossal Titan appeared, and kicked through the wall like it was paper.

**Wiz:** And in the same attack, an Armoured Titan took down the next wall in.

**Boomstick:** Damn, that's harsh. But at least there's no dead parents to worry abou…

**Wiz:** It was during these attacks that young Eren Yeager and his adopted sister Mikasa witnessed the brutal death of their mother at the hands of a Smiling Titan.

**Boomstick:** There it is.

**Wiz:** Desperate to avenge the death of his mother, Eren decides to join the Survey Corps, basically a military force trained to kill titans.

**Boomstick:** Wait, if their military is trained to kill titans, why aren't they out there killing titans every day?

**Wiz:** Well, titan killing is extremely dangerous, and the series has frequently shown even experienced soldiers being taken down easily by the titans.

**Boomstick:** But what would you expect when these things range in height from three to fifteen metres?

**Wiz:** Anyway, joining Eren on his mission to kill all the titans were his two best friends, Armin and Mikasa. And it's on this last one that we'll be focusing for the Death Battle.

**Boomstick:** Mikasa is a badass. She graduated from military school on top of her class, which, considering some of her classmates, is pretty freaking impressive.

**Wiz:** She's very adept at using her omni-directional mobility gear, a kind of grappling hook designed for high speed movement while battling titans.

**Boomstick:** And she has a pair of swords made of ultrahard steel. And guess what Wiz?

**Wiz:** They're stronger and lighter than titanium?

**Boomstick:** HA! They're actually only lighter. Seriously, these things break all the time. Good thing they carry spares.

**Wiz:** Finally, a fictional metal I can get behind. These blades are strong enough to pierce the hardened skin of a titan, however only if you get them in the nape of the neck. And you need two, or else it's too difficult to cut the nape out.

**Boomstick:** That's…an oddly specific weakness.

**Wiz:** It really is.

**Boomstick:** Well, she doesn't really need them though, because she also uses THUNDER SPEARS!

**Wiz:** Thunder Spears were originally designed to combat the Armoured Titan, by launching a projectile at high speed into the titan's skin, then cutting a rope to activate the charge, which explodes the spear.

**Boomstick:** That sounds wicked dangerous. Where can I get one?

**Wiz:** But Mikasa's arsenal doesn't stop with her weapons. She has an ability unique to the Ackerman line: the Power of the Titans.

**Boomstick:** What, you mean she can pull an Eren and turn into a titan?

**Wiz:** Not quite. Though this power is connected to Eren. Basically, in a life or death situation, like, say, watching your parents getting murdered and some boy risking his life to save you, the first command they give you will unlock the Power of the Titans in any Ackerman who hears it. In Mikasa's case, it happened after Eren told her to fight while he was being strangled by one of the traffickers trying to kidnap her.

**Boomstick:** And from that moment, Mikasa became Eren's bodyguard, basically being unstoppable, whether against humans or titans. Seriously, she's like stupidly strong now.

**Wiz:** Unfortunately, this makes her EXTREMELY obedient to Eren's commands. Luckily for her, Eren's not in this fight, so we don't have to worry about that.

**Boomstick:** So…what weaknesses DOES she have? Because right now, she's sounding pretty unstoppable.

**Wiz:** What? Being a normal, regular human isn't a weakness? Anything you can think of that would mortally wound a human being will almost certainly kill Mikasa, Titan Strength or not.

**Boomstick:** So remember kids, if you ever find yourself being attacked by giant humanoid murder-monsters, it's always best to have someone like Mikasa Ackerman on your side.

**Mikasa:** "Once I'm dead, I won't even be able to remember you. So I'll win, no matter what. I'll live, no matter what!"

_Scene cuts away._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** But first, we need to tell you about Blue Apro…

**Wiz:** Actually, this is a fanfic. We don't need to do ads.

**Boomstick:** Really? Well, then it's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

_Scene cuts to an abandoned city street._

Blake is casually walking down the darkened street, minding her own business. She has removed her ribbon, leaving her cat ears open for the world to see. Blake walks past a building, where Mikasa sees her.

"That girl…" said Mikasa. "She has cat ears. Could be part of a costume, but maybe…is she one of…them?"

"Hey," came a voice from Mikasa, causing her to jump. "It's rude to talk about people behind their backs." Mikasa turned around to see Blake standing behind her, Gambol Shroud in hand. Mikasa looked over her shoulder to see a shadow Blake disappearing.

"You're not human," said Mikasa, drawing her swords. "What are you? Some new kind of titan?"

"I don't have to answer that," said Blake, getting ready to fight.

"You are to be considered a threat until proven otherwise," said Mikasa. "Now, tell me what you are, or I will be forced to eliminate you."

"I'd love to see you try," said Blake, charging at Mikasa. Seeing this, Mikasa started charging too…

**FIGHT!**

Mikasa swings one sword low, trying to catch Blake off-guard, but Blake noticed and quickly switched out a clone to get behind her. Mikasa guessed she would do this, and swung her foot around and kicked Blake in the face.

Blake took the hit but landed well, bringing up her weapon (still in the sheath) just as Mikasa attempted another attack. Mikasa tried to strike Blake with both her blades, but Blake blocked them with her still sheathed weapon, before pushing her back.

Blake unsheathed her katana, and began trying to get Mikasa while Mikasa was blocking and trying to get a hit on Blake.

"Let's take this outdoors," said Mikasa, firing one of her grappling hooks on her manoeuvre gear through a wall behind Blake, then hitting the retract button, forcing herself forward into Blake and carrying both of them outside.

Blake rolled under Mikasa, while Mikasa launched herself up onto a building. Blake got out the pistol for Gambol Shroud, made sure the ribbon was secured, and launched herself up the same building. As she started moving, Blake heard a loud bang behind her. Blake turned to see a spear lodged in the ground. Mikasa cut the rope on it, and the spear exploded. "What the hell?" asked Blake, as she saw Mikasa picking some more Thunder Spears up, ready to fire.

"Let's see if cats really do have nine lives," said Mikasa, firing another shot at Blake. Blake swung herself to the side, narrowly avoiding the weapon. Blake started running at Mikasa as Mikasa cut the line on the second spear, exploding it. Blake jumped just as the explosion caught up to her, propelling her forward towards Mikasa, who was getting ready to fire another spear…

…as Blake vanished from view. "What the…" said Mikasa, realising it was another clone.

"Behind you," said Blake, as Mikasa turned to see Blake holding her pistol. Blake fired three shots in quick succession, one in Mikasa's leg, one in her chest, and one in her shoulder. Mikasa screamed in agony as she fell to the ground. "Goodbye," said Blake, drawing her sword and stabbing Mikasa through the face, letting the body fall to the ground. Blake withdrew her blade and sheathed it, before jumping off the building.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** And the catgirl takes it.

**Wiz:** Mikasa definitely had the strength advantage, and her Thunder Spears are capable of doing far more damage than anything Blake's got. But what good is that if you can't hit your target?

**Boomstick:** Yeah, Blake's shadow clones were tricky, allowing Blake to distract Mikasa and get in a surprise attack. Even if Mikasa could get a Thunder Spear to land, Blake's aura would have protected her against the explosion. Blake's survived falling off a radar tower, and just got back up.

**Wiz:** Even if Mikasa had managed to just stab Blake straight on like Adam did, Blake was able to carry herself and Yang to safety, before fleeing Vale with a nasty stab wound. But what really made Blake superior was the fact that, unlike Mikasa, Blake has a gun on hand.

**Boomstick:** Always a useful tool for killing someone, especially when they have no defence against it. You know, because Mikasa's just a regular human.

**Wiz:** In the end, Blake's superior range, speed, and evasiveness were to much for Mikasa to handle.

**Boomstick:** Blake is one black cat you don't want to cross.

**Wiz:** The winner is Blake Belladonna.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Next time on Death Battle…

"Heh heh heh heh heh... all right. well, here's a better question. Do you wanna have a bad time? 'cause if you take another step forward... you are REALLY not going to like what happens next."

"I'm a selfish king. So I want to protect the forest, my people, Diane, everything!"


	2. Sans vs King

Episode 2: Sans vs King

**Author note: Fair warning, this will contain spoilers for Undertale and The Seven Deadly Sins. Reading beyond this point means either you know these enough to know the spoilers, or you don't care. Last chance to turn back…okay, here we go.**

_Intro plays._

**Wiz:** The sin of sloth is perhaps the calmest of the deadly sins…

**Boomstick:** What's so sinful about those weird little monkey things?

**Wiz:** Not the animal, the sin of being extremely lazy.

**Boomstick:** Sounds like something I can really get behind.

**Wiz:** Ugh…anyway, today's combatants have mastered the art of laziness, and yet are still among the most powerful beings in their respective universes.

**Boomstick:** Sans, the pun-spewing skeleton from Undertale.

**Wiz:** And King, Grizzly's Sin of Sloth.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cut._

**Wiz:** Long ago, humans and monsters ruled the world. But then, the humans attacked the monsters out of fear, forcing them into hiding…

**Boomstick:** Humans starting a war against things that are different from them, causing their victims to relocate elsewhere? Sounds a lot like Blake's backstory from last time.

**Wiz:** That's about where the similarities end. Anyway, the monsters were sealed underground, with the only entrance being at Mount Ebott. All was fine…until a human came along.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, apparently being forced to live underground for years made all the monsters resent the humans. Who's have thought, right?

**Wiz:** This human went on a rampage, murdering every monster in their pass, including a skeleton who aspired to be a part of the Royal Guard.

**Boomstick:** That skeleton was Papyrus, and his brother Sans wasn't too pleased with that.

**Wiz:** And so, after the human's genocide of the monsters, Sans decided to step up and fight the human himself.

**Boomstick:** Why is all his text weird?

**Wiz:** Well, you see, his name is a reference to the font Comic Sans, which is why Papyrus's text is in…

**Boomstick:** OH CHRIST HE USES COMIC SANS?!

**Wiz:** Ahem, anyway, Sans is the final boss when the player decides to take the Genocide Run. And he's a tough one.

**Boomstick:** This match-up's about laziness. How could he… *footage of Gaster Blasters attacking the player* HOLY SHIT! He can do that?

**Wiz:** Yes. Despite his lazy and carefree nature, Sans is actually a pretty terrifying fighter. He attacks with quick and powerful barrages of lasers, manipulation of gravity, and with bones.

**Boomstick:** He…uses his bones?

**Wiz:** Yes.

**Boomstick:** That sounds stupid. Wouldn't he need those to be able to stand?

**Wiz:** It's quite possible these aren't his actual bones, but just part of his psychokinesis. A solid illusion of sorts that can hurt his opponents.

**Boomstick:** He's also able to control a person's SOUL, which may sound terrifying, but it basically just means you need to changing tactics for a while.

**Wiz:** Normally, a SOUL is red, which means you take damage when attacked. However, Sans can also change the player's SOUL to be blue, which means you get affected by gravity much more. Which can be used in conjunction with some dangerous attacks on the ground. Or even the walls or ceiling, if his gravity manipulation is what it seems to be.

**Boomstick:** Should we also mention he can control time?

**Wiz:** We should, though it's unclear to what extent. When a player dies while fighting him, Sans is aware of it. He can also skip past his own attacks, confusing the player who thinks he doing one move when he suddenly changes.

**Boomstick:** Sans is also a master of dodging. Like, seriously, he avoids attacks for ages before finally getting hit…once…and dying. Hey, how strong is this guy meant to be?

**Wiz:** He has one HP.

**Boomstick:** …what?

**Wiz:** Yeah, Sans's biggest weakness is the fact that he only has one point of health, so landing a single blow on him will kill him immediately.

**Boomstick:** That's quite the weakness.

**Wiz:** In fact, all Sans's attacks only deal one HP each, including those he uses while players are in the menu.

**Boomstick:** Jeez, you'd think such a cheating boss would be more powerful.

**Wiz:** Keep in mind Boomstick, Sans attacks so quickly that one HP per attack adds up VERY quickly.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, I guess that with all that speed and power, it doesn't matter if you're not doing a lot of damage per attack.

**Sans:** it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you... Should be burning in hell.

_Scene cut._

**Wiz:** The kingdom of Britannia is defended by a group of soldiers referred to as the Holy Knights, who are all extremely powerful in combat and in magic.

**Boomstick:** And among this group were the Seven Deadly Sins…who had to disband after they were framed for trying to overthrow the kingdom.

**Wiz:** Their leader Meliodas told them to split up, and they'd meet up again later. Ten years later, as it turns out, when the Holy Knights overthrew the kingdom themselves, forcing Princess Elizabeth to seek them out to fight back. The fourth Sin they found was King, the Grizzly's Sin of Sloth.

**Boomstick:** You know, with a name like King, you'd think HE would be the leader of the Sins.

**Wiz:** Well, he is the king of the fairies, so the name's not entirely inaccurate.

**Boomstick:** The fairies named their king King?

**Wiz:** Well, his real name is Fairy King Harlequin…

**Boomstick:** THEN WHY AREN'T WE CALLING HIM HARLEQUIN?!

**Wiz:** Because no-one calls him that. Anyway, as king, King kept the peace between the humans and the fairies, until a friend of his named Helbram was ambushed in the human world and supposedly killed.

**Boomstick:** So King King went to the human world to save him, leaving his sister Elaine to protect the Fairy Forest…which got destroyed. And brother dearest got beaten down and ended up with amnesia for a few centuries. Luckily he ended up with a giant lady, who was later a part of the Seven Deadly Sins with him…until they disbanded.

**Wiz:** King has been noted to be the most powerful Fairy King in history. He has the ability to float or fly, he can shapeshift, and is incredibly fast.

**Boomstick:** He also carries a spear called Chastiefol, which is also known as his Scared Treasure.

**Wiz:** Sacred Treasures allow the Sins to control their magic to their full potential. King takes full advantage of this, with attacks like Bumblebee, Fight Fire with Fire, and Tyrant Tempest. The weapon also has ten different forms that it can take, each of them extremely dangerous.

**Boomstick:** Except for the pillow form. Anyway, King can turn his opponents to stone, summon a giant flower to fire projectiles at people, and even send a crapload of knives at people. Hell, this kid doesn't even need to throw his spear, it will literally chase you around the battlefield if King tells it to.

**Wiz:** And let's not forget King's Disaster attack.

**Boomstick:** These are basically psychic attacks that can control life and death, which can do anything from trigger an old man's rheumatic joints, to turning minor cuts into gaping wounds. Damn, this guy sounds unstoppable.

**Wiz:** However…

**Boomstick:** There it is.

**Wiz:** King is incredibly weak, once losing a fight to a housecat.

**Boomstick:** WHAT THE FU…

**Wiz:** Without his weapon handy at least. He still has a great level of magical strength and durability to make up for it.

**Boomstick:** A freaking HOUSECAT?!

**Wiz:** It stole his snacks.

**Boomstick:** And he didn't just blast to kingdom come with some magic?

**Wiz:** Guess that's why King is the Sin of Sloth.

**King:** Oh, one last thing. Next time you get in my way, I'll— *explosions* You should wait until people are finished talking. Next time you get in my way, I'll finish you.

_Scene cut._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

_Scene cut._

In the Snowden Forest, Sans and Papyrus are looking around for something. "Any sign of a human yet, Sans?" asked Papyrus.

"No, I haven't seen any signs saying 'human' yet," said Sans.

"SANS!" yelled Papyrus. "You know I can't stand your laziness. I'm trying to find and capture a human so I can join the Royal Guard and impress Undy…Sans, what is that?"

Sans looked up, and saw a small, brown haired child floating towards them on a green pillow. "Looks kinda like a human," said Sans.

"A HUMAN?!" yelled Papyrus. "I didn't know they could fly."

"Maybe call for some backup," said Sans. "I'll stall him by having a nice, friendly chat."

"Hmm…well, okay," said Papyrus. "But don't get too friendly. Remember, we'll have to kill him later." Papyrus turned around and started running back towards Snowden Town.

"Well, here goes," said Sans, before clearing his throat. "How's the weather up there?"

King suddenly noticed the skeleton below him. "Uh…hi," said King, floating down to meet this strange creature. "Quick question: you wouldn't happen to have seen a human around here, would you? Tall guy, silver hair, hates wearing a shirt, immortal…"

"Immortal, you say?" asked Sans. "Sounds like the type of guy we need down here. Just need one more human soul to break the seal trapping us, you know."

"Oh no, Ban's mine," said King. "And anyone who gets in my way will be brought down with him."

"Then I guess we're at an impasse," said Sans. "Because there's no way we're letting not one, but TWO humans get away from us."

**FIGHT!**

Sans immediately lets loose a bunch of Gaster Blasters right where King had just been standing. "You know, I probably should have left something for the guards when they get here," said Sans.

"Don't worry, there's still plenty of me," said King, standing on a lance and floating twenty feet above Sans. "And trying to blow me up before you even know my name? That's kinda rude, isn't it?" King jumped backwards, and sent his lance flying at Sans. Sans started dodging it with relative ease, clearly not putting any effort in.

"Hey, you should come down here," said Sans, motioning his hand down. King began falling, before pushing himself back up, narrowly avoiding a bunch of bones shooting out of the ground. Just as King was sure he was safe of Sans's attack, the bones came at him from the sky, knocking him down. King stopped himself from hitting the ground, worried he would get struck by the bones from the ground again, only for the bones to come at him from the side. King narrowly missed them, then saw Sans waving his hand down. Immediately King pushed himself up as hard as he could, avoiding the bones from the ground again.

"So you need your hands to control your bone attack?" asked King. "Allow me to remove them." King's lance appeared behind him, but then turned into hundreds of daggers, all pointed at Sans. Sans's grin never wavered, as King fired all of his hundreds of daggers at the same times where Sans had been standing. "Let's see you survive that."

"I did," said Sans, somehow behind King now. "How would you like to be blue for a little while?" Before King could reply, Sans waved his hand, and King was blue. "Have fun figuring out what I did to you." Sans waved his hand, and the bones started appearing from the ground again.

"This again?" asked King, who sighed as he avoided the bones from the ground…that kept coming up. And up. And up. "What the hell?" asked King, as he tried to escape the bones. Unfortunately, they caught up to him, and they hurt. King fell to the ground, and rolled over to see a bone flying straight for his chest…

…only to pass right through him. "Oops, forgot to turn you red again," said Sans, removing the blue around King.

"So not moving while blue doesn't hurt me?" asked King. "Good to know. Not that I'll need it for long. Chastiefol, catch him."

Sans turned around, and saw a giant green bear trying to grab him. Sans casually dodged out of the way, before summoning several Gaster Blasters and blowing it up. Sans turned around to face King again, only to find he wasn't there. "Of course he's gone," said Sans, as he stepped to the side to avoid a surprise attack from King. "Honestly kid, did you think it was going to be this easy to beat me?"

"It will be," said King. "All you're doing is dodging my attacks. You refuse to get hit. I've taken hits from you, so you're not weak, but you do everything in your power to avoid getting hurt. And I know you're pushing yourself, because you're slowing down. You're tired. What are you…"

"Yap yap yap," said Sans. "Let's finish this, shall we?" Sans summoned hundreds of Gaster Blasters, which started firing one at a time. King started dodging easily, and was getting into a rhythm with it…

…only for everything to go black for a moment, and suddenly King was being assaulted by bones. After getting over his initial confusion, King started easily avoiding these attacks too…

…only to have another quick blackout, and a random assortment of Gaster Blasters and bones attacked him. "Okay, enough of this," said King, waving his arm. Behind them, Chastiefol turned into a giant sunflower. "LIGHT FLOWER!" The sunflower started glowing, and suddenly fired hundreds of projectiles at Sans, causing hundreds of explosions.

"You missed," said Sans, breathing heavily just outside the range of the explosions.

"How about this?" asked King, suddenly behind Sans. As Sans turned around, King punched him in the face…which did almost nothing. "Ow, my hand." King started sucking on his sore knuckles to soothe them.

"That…was your…big plan?" asked Sans, panting even heavier. "Man, that was…pathetic…" Sans started to walk away…and as he did so, began falling apart. After Sans had taken three steps, he started disintegrating, until he was nothing.

King stared at the spot where his foe had been moments ago. "Huh…that happened," he said. "I wonder where Ban is…" King jumped on his pillow, and started floating away.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Wow, after all that, it ended with a single punch? And not even a good punch?

**Wiz:** There's no doubt Sans was fast, and had a pretty destructive arsenal, but King has that too. And a very important advantage: more than one HP.

**Boomstick:** King has taken some pretty heavy hits in the past, and has gotten right back up. Sans went down to a single stab wound. From a child no less.

**Wiz:** Plus it's clear that King has actually had combat training, while Sans doesn't care for violence one way or the other.

**Boomstick:** Sans was beaten after being worn right down. King had his limits too, but he was FAR more durable than Sans.

**Wiz:** In the end, King's superior durability and endurance were too much for Sans.

**Boomstick:** Sans was boned from the beginning.

**Wiz:** The winner is King.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"The weak are destined to lie beneath the boots of the strong. If that angers you, overcome your deficits."

"I am not in pain. I am not sad. I have no regrets."


	3. Esdeath vs Rukia Kuchiki

Episode 3: Esdeath vs Rukia Kuchiki

**Author's note: Chapter may contain major spoilers for Akame ga Kill and Bleach. If you have seen/read both of them, or if you don't care about spoilers, you may proceed. I mean, you can proceed even if you don't want them spoiled, I just wouldn't recommend it.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** It's always difficult to lead a troop of soldiers. But, these lovely ladies do it with a sword at their side, and cold, hard determination.

**Boomstick:** Esdeath, the ice wielding general from Akame ga Kill.

**Wiz:** And Rukia Kuchiki, Captain of Squad 13 of the Soul Society in Bleach.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** North of The Empire's capital, you'll come across numerous tribes and villages. Many of these tribes have powerful military strength, but there was one man who held the strong belief that in order to survive, you need to just be stronger than your opponent. This man was Esdeath's father.

**Boomstick:** 'Was' because he caught a nasty case of Anime Parent Syndrome and died. Though he did die in battle, so at least he died like a man.

**Wiz:** Either way, his last words to Esdeath were not to feel sad for him, because he was too weak.

**Boomstick:** Wait a minute, this man was a badass warrior his whole life, and extremely well respected, and believes he was weak because he died after being outnumbered?

**Wiz:** Whatever his reason for thinking this, it became Esdeath's primary way of thinking. Using survival and fighting skills her father taught her…

**Boomstick:** Why would she keeps using them if the guy who taught them to her died?

**Wiz:** She probably had nothing else to work with. Anyway, she left her destroyed village and joined The Empire's military, where she very quickly rose through the ranks until the Prime Minister let her choose a Teigu, or 'Imperial Arms'.

**Boomstick:** The Imperial Arms are weapons created by The Empire's first leader, who was worried one day the Empire would fall. These forty eight magical weapons range from swords and armour, to dogs and even people.

**Wiz:** Of the ones Esdeath was presented with, none took her fancy. However, one that had been chained off seemed to call to her. This was the blood of an S-class beast that had rejected all others who'd attempted to drink it. This was the Demon Extract.

**Boomstick:** To see if the blood would mesh with the host, you only had to take a single sip. But Esdeath was like 'screw that' and drank the whole thing. Not only did she put up with agonising pain for a few minutes while it merged with her, she gained ice powers too.

**Wiz:** So began Esdeath's reign as one of the most powerful warriors ever.

**Boomstick:** Esdeath's ice powers are pretty freaking dangerous. She can freeze an entire lake so solidly that it can be used as a bridge for an army mere seconds after freezing. She also caused an avalanche that buried four hundred thousand people, just because she could.

**Wiz:** But perhaps the most terrifying thing about Esdeath's power is that she can use it anywhere, even when there's no nearby water source. Possibly she does this the same way Frozone's or Katara's powers work by using the moisture in the air itself, but this is never explained.

**Boomstick:** And she can freeze time and space. Yeah, I'm no astrophysicist, but I'm pretty sure that's not how that works.

**Wiz:** It's not. Esdeath just broke a rule of physics. She claims she turned time itself into a giant ice cube that only she can move around in, but if that's so, why does it only last a few seconds? And when it does end, there should be a lot more water around.

**Boomstick:** Unfortunately, this attack isn't used that often. Probably because it puts a huge strain on her body. Also why she calls it her Trump Card. Err, I mean Drumpf…

**Wiz:** It's okay, the phrase has nothing to do with the Oompa Loompa in office right now.

**Boomstick:** Well, even without her ice powers, Esdeath is a pretty badass warrior. She can hold her own in a fight with Akame without using her ice, and has immense physical strength and endurance. Hell, by herself she took down the Revolutionary Army, and they had a hundred thousand soldiers. Ten of whom were Imperial Arms users.

**Wiz:** Her senses are so acute that she's always aware of everything in her surroundings, to the point where she can figure out of someone wants to kill her from a long distance.

**Boomstick:** And Esdeath is so hardcore that, when Akame's poison sword left a small cut her arm, she just cut her whole arm off before it could infect the rest of her body. Jeez, what does it take to kill her?

**Wiz:** Well, technically Esdeath is still human, despite all her powers and skills.

**Boomstick:** I'm pretty sure that's bullshit, but continue.

**Wiz:** Also, Esdeath's not the most mentally stable person out there, which is probably why she cut her arm off and kept fighting. Hell, she lost that battle because her bloodlust allowed her to see an afterimage of Akame instead of the real thing while time was frozen, allowing for a surprise attack.

**Boomstick:** Still, this crazy ice chick is not someone you want to cross.

**Esdeath:** I have so many things I want to say, so many things I want to ask you, but... When I see your face... None of that matters anymore!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** What happens when you die?

**Boomstick:** I'm going to go out on a limb and say we're going to Hell.

**Wiz:** Well, that's up to the Shinigami, or Soul Reapers, of the Soul Society to decide.

**Boomstick:** So, St. Peter's outsourcing now?

**Wiz:** …I mean, I guess…

**Boomstick:** Anyway, these Soul Reapers are divided into thirteen squads, the current captain of the thirteenth of which is Rukia Kuchiki.

**Wiz:** Not that she was introduced to us as a captain. More on that later though.

**Boomstick:** Rukia and her sister were humans once, but after they died…damn, they died as kids? What the hell happened?

**Wiz:** It's never explained. And would you really want an explanation for that anyway?

**Boomstick:** Probably not.

**Wiz:** Exactly. Anyway, Rukia found herself in the seventy eighth district of Rukongai, which is one of the poorest of the eighty districts. There she met Renji Abarai.

**Boomstick:** Both showed great promise with spirit energy, so they agreed to become Soul Reapers.

**Wiz:** By the way, we're skipping a lot of minor details here because seriously, look how long the series is. It would take us a month to cover her entire backstory.

**Boomstick:** Three hundred and sixty six episodes of anime, and seventy four volumes of manga? Not to mention OVAs, movies, specials. How does Kieran have time to get through all that and still find time to go to work, eat, and sleep?

**Wiz:** …anyway, Rukia was adopted by Byakuya Kuchiki, which allowed her to graduate immediately and be placed in the thirteenth division, and didn't require her to complete their entrance exam.

**Boomstick:** That seems a little unfair.

**Wiz:** Well, considering Rukia's skills and powers, they might have just figured it was a waste of everyone's time to test her on something so trivial.

**Boomstick:** Oh yeah? Like what?

**Wiz:** Well, Rukia is a master of Kidō, a form of magic that can be used offensively, which is called Hadō, or defensively, which is called Bakudō. She's an expert with a sword. She's an expert at Shunpo, which is basically just the art of moving really fast. She's a decent hand-to-hand, or Hakuda, combatant. And that comes on top of being extra strong, durable, and smart.

**Boomstick:** Okay, that's actually pretty good.

**Wiz:** Let's look at some of these in more depth. Her Kidō is noted as being her biggest strength, which she's used for binding, healing, and destruction.

**Boomstick:** That last one sounds awesome.

**Wiz:** In fact, through practice and training, she was able to master using Hadō #73 without reciting the incantation.

**Boomstick:** And that does…?

**Wiz:** Basically a double-barrelled laser blast.

**Boomstick:** I knew that last one sounded awesome.

**Wiz:** Her Zanpakutō …

**Boomstick:** Her WHAT?!

**Wiz:** Her sword.

**Boomstick:** Ah, much simpler.

**Wiz:** Anyway, her sword is called Sode no Shirayuki, or Sleeves of White Snow. It's an ice type Zanpakutō, which is also capable of some devastating techniques, including freezing anything in its immediate vicinity, making the blade longer by freezing water molecules in the air, and even send a trail of ice at her enemy to freeze them.

**Boomstick:** And on top of all that, she's invisible to anyone without Soul Reaper powers when she's in the Human World. Jeez, what can stop this girl?

**Wiz:** Actually, more or less the same things that would kill a human.

**Boomstick:** WHAT?!

**Wiz:** Don't get me wrong, she's a helluva lot more durable than a human, but Soul Reapers can and will die to anything a normal human would die from, just in a much higher dosage. The only sure fire way to defeat a Soul Reaper is decapitation. On top of that, while Rukia is very skilled in all of her Soul Reaper powers, she's not a master of any of them.

**Boomstick:** Well, when it comes to taking down undead monsters, Rukia is one woman you'd want on your side.

**Rukia:** In a battle, the ones who get in the way are not the ones that lack power, but the ones that lack resolve.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

_Scene cuts._

Esdeath was walking through the streets of the Rukon district. "Where are you, Tatsumi?" she asked aloud. "We didn't die that far apart, and yet I can't find him anywhere." As Esdeath was walking, she accidentally bumped into a black haired girl wearing a black robe. "Excuse you," snapped Esdeath. "I'm trying to find someone here."

"No need to be a rude bitch," said Rukia, not facing her as she walked away.

"HEY! What did you call me?" demanded Esdeath.

"You heard me," said Rukia. "You rude bitch."

"I'll have you know you're talking to the great General Esdeath," said Esdeath.

"And I'll have you know you're talking with Squad 13 Captain Rukia Kuchiki," said Rukia.

"Hmpf, you're not worth my time," said Esdeath. "I significantly outrank you, I wouldn't even break a sweat killing you."

"You want to bet on that?" asked Rukia, drawing her sword.

"You know what? I kinda do," said Esdeath, drawing her own sword.

**FIGHT!**

The two of them charged at one another, causing a shockwave from the impact. "Freeze," said Esdeath, waving her hand in front of her. Ice started sprouting up in all directions, but Rukia managed to jump out of the way.

"Nice trick," said Rukia, quickly moving herself behind Esdeath.

"Oh, I've got plenty," said Esdeath, her hands above her head. "HAIL POUNCE!"

Rukia began to charge at Esdeath, only to notice a huge ball of ice above them. "Are you insane?" demanded Rukia, running to get out of the way. The giant ball of ice crashed into the ground, causing a huge explosion that destroyed many of the nearby buildings. "Do you have any idea how many innocents you could have killed?" demanded Rukia, just barely safe from the destruction.

"Well, they shouldn't have got in the way," said Esdeath. "It's a fact that the weak have no business surviving when the strong are the ones protecting them."

"You're a lunatic," said Rukia, stabbing her sword into the ground. "WHITE TREE!" A path of icicles started shooting out of the ground, straight at Esdeath.

Esdeath didn't move, and even smiled as the icicles came at her. As they reached her, she waved her hands, destroying them. "Honestly, you'd think you hadn't figured out that I could control ice by this point," she said dismissively.

"I knew," said Rukia, pointing her index and middle fingers at Esdeath. "I just needed a distraction. RESTRAIN!"

Esdeath's arms suddenly locked behind her back. "What…is this?" asked Esdeath, trying to break free of her bonds.

"A little Kidō for you," said Rukia, her index and middle fingers still up, but now with blue light on the end of them. "Now, allow me to end this." Rukia made a pushing motion with her hands, and unleashed the power of the seventy third Hadō spell. The spell hit Esdeath, and Rukia backed up to avoid the worst of the explosion. "Well, that settles that."

"Or so you think," said Esdeath, walking towards her through the smoke, no longer restrained. "Though I must say you've lasted longer against me than most."

"What? That's…this is impossible," said Rukia, staring at Esdeath in shock. "I didn't release the restraining spell…"

"Sweetheart, you've got bigger things to worry about right now," said Esdeath, ice forming around her. "Like how long you've got left to live." Esdeath shot the small, sharpened points of ice at Rukia, which started cutting the Soul Reaper all over.

"This won't be how it ends," said Rukia, starting to move her hands for another Kidō attack.

"Oh, do you really think I'm gonna allow that?" asked Esdeath, taking a deep breath. "MAHAPADMA!" The world suddenly turned blue, with Rukia just unleashing an attack. Esdeath just sighed. "Pathetic," she said, casually walking behind Rukia before raising her sword. "Though I guess you at least deserve to know you died valiantly."

Just as time restarted, Esdeath stabbed Rukia through the chest, causing a shout of surprise from her. "What the…" started Rukia, coughing up blood.

"You fought well," said Esdeath, withdrawing her sword from Rukia's ribcage. "But the strong always prevail over the weak." Esdeath swung her sword, and cleanly sliced Rukia's head from her shoulders. "Hmpf, well, that was fun." Esdeath sheathed her sword, and walked away through the wreckage.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Damn, that was cold.

**Wiz:** Ugh, can you save the puns for the end of the summary?

**Boomstick:** Fine, whatever. How did Esdeath win?

**Wiz:** Well, first of all, if this was in the Human World, Rukia would have this in the bag, since Esdeath wouldn't have been able to see her. That's pretty much the only reason we set this in the Spirit World.

**Boomstick:** Blah, blah, excuses, excuses. Get to the part that'll hopefully shut the fanboys up.

**Wiz:** Wishful thinking on your part. Anyway, the simple fact is, Esdeath's ice powers were way more than Rukia could handle. In fact, most of Esdeath's stats trumped Rukia.

**Boomstick:** Rukia's a very skilled Soul Reaper. But…she's far from the most powerful one. There was plenty of room for improvement in just about everything except her Kidō, and even that she's heavily outclassed in.

**Wiz:** In fact, the first episode of Bleach was very telling for how Rukia's Kidō would affect the battle. Ichigo, someone who's never had to fight against Hollows to protect his family in such a high stakes battle, was able to break free of the binding spell, despite knowing nothing of Kidō beforehand. Now, compare that to someone who's been battling monsters and magic everyday for years, and has an outlook of 'the strongest survive' mentality. An attack like that would only surprise Esdeath for a minute or so at best.

**Boomstick:** Plus, Esdeath's ruthless enough to sacrifice innocent lives for no good reason. She'd be going all out from the get go.

**Wiz:** The real trump card here though was Esdeath's…Trump Card. Rukia just had no way of countering time and space being frozen. The second Esdeath does that, it's pretty much a death sentence.

**Boomstick:** Esdeath's victory was nICE.

**Wiz:** *sigh* The winner is Esdeath.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"HAHAHAHA! This is awesome! It's like I'm beating up a dog AND an old man-all at once! I know you live a long-ass time, but I guess even beastkin lose their mojo eventually...!"

"Human ability is extremely limited and finite. Your Hamon training avails you nothing. It's USELESS, USELESS, USELESS, UUUSSSEELLLESSS~! A MERE MONKEY COULD NEVER DEFEAT A LION! And compared to my power Jojo, you are a monkey!"


	4. Yūki Terumi vs Dio Brando

Episode 4: Yūki Terumi vs Dio Brando

**Author's note: Okay, you know the drill. This chapter may or may not contain spoilers for BlazBlue or for JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Find out by reading this…unless you don't want them spoiled, then it's best not to.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz: **What happens when you die?

**Boomstick:** Didn't you already ask this when we were summarising Rukia last time?

**Wiz:** …kind of…but this time, we're covering two characters who have experienced a different kind of post-life: being undead.

**Boomstick:** Yūki Terumi, one of the Six Heroes turned ghost from BlazBlue.

**Wiz:** And Dio Brando, the vampire Stand user from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** At the end of the year 2099, two scientists by the name of Relius Clover and Shūichirō Ayatsuki were performing experiments on The Gate…

**Boomstick:** That's a boring name for something.

**Wiz:** Would it help if I told you it was a gate to what is essentially the Big Bang?

**Boomstick:** No, because something that cool should have a better name.

**Wiz:** Ugh…anyway, Terumi was offering his assistance to the experiment when the Black Beast…

**Boomstick:** See, they can come up with cool names.

**Wiz:** *sighs heavily* Anyway, the Black Beast burst into the laboratory, sending Clover into the future, and destroying Terumi's original body.

**Boomstick:** Wait, what?

**Wiz:** I should probably mention that Terumi used to be named Susanoo, and now that his original vessel has been destroyed, he can possess others.

**Boomstick:** Oh, really? *punches Wiz*

**Wiz:** What the hell?

**Boomstick:** Sorry, he possessed me.

**Wiz:** Not how it works, but whatever. When Terumi's spirit had recovered enough, he asked Clover for a new body…which he put in the city of Ishana. Which was surrounded by magic that Terumi couldn't get through.

**Boomstick:** Why would he do that?

**Wiz:** Well, it's BlazBlue, so…no-one knows. Anyway, Terumi kept calling out to his new body, but Kazuma, the name of his new body, kept ignoring him. For six years.

**Boomstick:** Ignoring someone's calls for six years? Damn, I should have adopted this strategy when I met my ex-wife.

**Wiz:** Kazuma stopped ignoring Terumi however, when an assassin named Tomonori attempted to kill him. Suddenly, Terumi was inside a body again, though only as a thought. And as a thought, Terumi helped Kazuma gain plenty of power and knowledge.

**Boomstick:** We're trying to abridge as much of this as possible, since this is complicated as shit. Seriously, the complexity of this series is like Kingdom Hearts had a baby with Metal Gear.

**Wiz:** Anyway, what followed was years of manipulation and plotting, and other various deeds of general douchebaggery. Let's skip to the part we actually need, shall we?

**Boomstick:** Terumi likes people to hate him. It literally fuels him. Like, if people stopped hating, he'd disappear from the human world.

**Wiz:** In his ghost form, Terumi becomes intangible, unless the attack is specifically designed to attack ghosts.

**Boomstick:** And he eats memories. They're apparently delicious. What the fuck is even up with this guy?

**Wiz:** He's definitely eccentric, that's for sure.

**Boomstick:** More like batshit crazy.

**Wiz:** Anyway, Terumi is also a powerful magic user. Through Observation, he was able to withstand an attack from Hakuman that would otherwise have killed him.

**Boomstick:** He…watched himself?

**Wiz:** It's more complicated than that.

**Boomstick:** Of course it is.

**Wiz:** Basically, by acknowledging what one sees as existing, you can Observe something that's happening.

**Boomstick:** So, by deciding he exists, he can't die?

**Wiz:** That's an EXTREME oversimplification.

**Boomstick:** Ugh, I can't stand this complicated bullshit.

**Wiz:** That's BlazBlue for you.

**Boomstick:** So, what CAN kill this guy? Because it sounds like he can't die unless he feels like it.

**Wiz:** Well, Observing is extremely power consuming. Doing it for too long will kill him. In fact, after that blow from Hakuman, Terumi only survived a week.

**Boomstick:** That's…not as impressive as I thought it was.

**Wiz:** On top of that, he's incredibly arrogant and cocky, and also starts to panic and get angry when something doesn't go his way.

**Boomstick:** Still, when it comes to psycho undead monsters, Terumi is one of the craziest bastards you'll ever meet.

**Terumi:** Not in this lifetime, or the next... or the one after that will you be able to defeat me, little Raggy! Now DIE like the little bitch that you are! HAHAHAHA!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** In nineteenth century England, a man named George Joestar, his wife Mary, and his son Jonathan were in a terrible carriage accident, leaving Mary dead…

**Boomstick:** Wow, that's…a really dark beginning. I mean, I know anime characters need to lose a parent early, but damn.

**Wiz:** After seeing the wreckage of this accident, Dario Brando began searching it for valuables…

**Boomstick:** Because obviously THAT'S the first thing you do when people are possibly dead.

**Wiz:** George, in his infinite naivety, believed Dario wanted to help him…

**Boomstick:** Despite the fact that George is now missing a ring from his finger…

**Wiz:** And as payment, put himself forever in Dario's debt for saving his life.

**Boomstick:** Obviously this can't backfire on him in any way.

**Wiz:** This backfired on George horribly.

**Boomstick:** *sarcastically* What? No!

**Wiz:** Thirteen years later, Dario was sick and dying, and decided the best way to take care of his then teenage son was to send him to the Joestars, since they owed him. And also to see if his son could take over the Joestar's fortune by being a good son.

**Boomstick:** This son's name was Dio Brando.

**Wiz:** And from the get-go, he definitely made it clear he was not a good guy.

**Boomstick:** Really? How bad was he? *sees Dio kick Danny* HOLY CRAP! Did he just kick that dog?

**Wiz:** That's not even the worst thing he did to that dog.

**Boomstick:** I don't know, it'd be pretty difficult to top tha… *sees the incinerator scene* That's it. Terumi, kick this guy's ass.

**Wiz:** BOOMSTICK! As awful as his actions are, we can't take sides in this.

**Boomstick:** Ugh, fine.

**Wiz:** Anyway, over the course of the seven years Dio lived with the Joestars, he continued to act as a gentleman in front of George, while finding new and horrible ways to torture Jonathan and not get in trouble.

**Boomstick:** Including forcibly kissing his girlfriend. You know someone's a dick when the least evil thing they've done is sexually assault a woman.

**Wiz:** Things reached a boiling point though when Dio attempted to poison George, which Jonathan managed to put a stop to.

**Boomstick:** But Dio had a back-up plan: put on a stone mask and cover it in blood, which suddenly made it latch onto his face and turn him into a vampire…wow, that's weird.

**Wiz:** The show's called Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. What the hell did you expect?

**Boomstick:** I know, I know, it's just…REALLY stupid at times.

**Wiz:** Yep.

**Boomstick:** Anyway, becoming a vampire gave Dio some pretty crazy powers.

**Wiz:** Even before becoming a vampire, Dio's fighting prowess was impressive. He's incredibly strong and fast, not to mention extremely smart and cunning. Hell, he was only outed in his plan to kill George by Jonathan who survived some incredible odds to track down a really rare poison, and even planned an alibi just to avoid suspicion.

**Boomstick:** But that sort of stuff's pretty standard for Death Battle. How about his regeneration? He can recover from burns faster than regular fire can burn him. Or how he can freeze people just by touching them? Or his mind control? Or my favourite, his Space Ripper Stingy Eyes, which is a cool way of saying LASER EYES!

**Wiz:** Dio performs this by pressurising his bodily fluids and firing them out of his pupils.

**Boomstick:** Erm…what fluids exactly? Because I'm pretty sure there aren't many fluids that are pink. Or that make pink. Well, unless he's combining blood and se…

**Wiz:** MOVING ON! To Dio's most valuable weapon, his Stand 'The World'.

**Boomstick:** What kind of name is that?

**Wiz:** It's not the best name, granted, but it's still a pretty cool weapon. Basically, a Stand will…ahem…STAND in front of their master, and fight for them. Unfortunately, it's at a pretty serious cost: any wound inflicted on the Stand will be reflected on the User.

**Boomstick:** So, if you're still going to get hurt, what's the point of having them in the first place?

**Wiz:** Well, Stands are often a lot more durable than humans, so having a companion can be useful to take some serious blows without dying.

**Boomstick:** Meh, seems like a waste if you're still gonna get hurt.

**Wiz:** What if I told you The World gave Dio the ability to stop time?

**Boomstick:** That makes up for it.

**Wiz:** That's right, Dio can stop time, for pretty much the same reason as Esdeath.

**Boomstick:** So, it's not physics?

**Wiz:** Nope. But Dio uses these time freezes to his full advantage, deflecting bullets and other attacks in the nine seconds he has to act.

**Boomstick:** This is all pretty cool, but what can actually kill him?

**Wiz:** Well, he's a vampire, so sunlight kills him pretty quick.

**Boomstick:** Really? With how flamboyant everyone in this show is, I'd have thought he'd sparkle in the sun.

**Wiz:** I…think you've been watching the wrong vampire movies. Anyway, Dio is incredibly arrogant and seems to have a kind of God complex, leading to him believing he's invincible. On top of that, The World can only move ten metres away from him, and weakens the further away it is. AND Dio lost his freezing people ability, though I guess stopping time is sort of like a more powerful version of that.

**Boomstick:** Still, when it comes to crazy over the top vampires, Dio definitely goes all out.

**Dio:** JoJo, being a human means having limits. I've learned something... The more carefully you scheme, the more unexpected events come along. As long as you're human... I REJECT MY HUMANITY, JOJO!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

_Scene cuts._

Night had just fallen in the city. A lone woman was walking down the street when a dark shadow ran past. The woman looked up too late, and was caught by the shadow. She tried to scream, but no sound came out as the monster thrust its fingers into her neck.

"Excellent work my pet," said Dio, watching the disgusting act. "Keep this up. I want the entire city under my command before JoJo shows up." Dio looked up, and saw someone turning a corner wearing a yellow hoodie. "Ooh, another victim over there. Go get him." Dio's minion was just finishing up on the woman it had claimed, and sped around the corner after the man. There was the sound of a struggle for a couple of second, followed by a shower of blood and the minion's head landed on the sidewalk. "Huh, wasn't expecting that," said Dio. "Might need to deal with this one personally." Dio rounded the corner and almost ran straight into the man in the yellow hoodie.

"You know, it's kind of rude to send your minion to kill me without even asking my name," said Terumi. "Then again, you're just a pathetic vampire, so I can't expect much better."

"Oh, someone's got a mouth on them," said Dio. "I might just have to remove it."

"You think I'm scared of some idiot bloodsucker? You've got another thing coming, moron," said Terumi.

**FIGHT!**

Dio immediately began throwing punches as fast as he could, with Terumi dodging as many as he could. One or two seemed to connect with him, but didn't do as much damage to Terumi as Dio thought they would.

"You'll need to do better than that," mocked Terumi, a green aura glowing around him. "Now it's my turn." A kind of green dragon came out of Terumi's back and lashed out at Dio, grabbing his arm.

"Bah," said Dio, smacking the monster on the head to dislodge it. "You think your petty parlour tricks will do anything to me, the great Dio Brando?"

"If you're so great, why have I never heard of you?" asked Terumi.

"Get over here, I need to force-feed you your own heart," said Dio, delivering a powerful kick to Terumi's face.

Terumi fell backwards, but was back up as quickly as possible. Dio pushed his advantage, landing a series of devastating blows on him. "Aww, isn't it cute? He's trying," said Terumi mockingly.

"Let's see how you like this," said Dio. "ZA WARUDO!"

"How ador…" started Terumi, who suddenly noticed Dio was no longer in front of him. "Umm, what?"

"Right here," said Dio from behind him as he elbowed Terumi in the back of the head.

"Get over here you…" started Terumi.

"ZA WARUDO!" yelled Dio, causing Terumi to miss his target again.

"How did you…" started Terumi, as Dio kicked him in the back.

"ZA WARUDO!" cried Dio for a third time, disappearing again.

"Okay, you can stop that now," said Terumi, aiming a roundhouse kick directly behind him. As luck would have it, he managed to catch Dio off-guard with the blow.

"Damn it, how the hell did you know?" demanded Dio.

"Because you Shonen characters always scream the name of your attack before doing it," said Terumi. "Honestly, why would you give your enemy the heads-up like that?"

"I'll teach you for mocking me," snapped Dio, nailing Terumi in the face. Terumi responded in kind by blasting him back with magic.

"Face it, vampire," said Terumi. "You can't kill me, but I can probably kill you. Surrender now, I might even let you join my army. How does third in command sound?"

"BAH! Dio Brando is not second or third to anyone," snapped Dio, firing his eye laser attack Space Ripper Stingy Eyes at Terumi. The resulting blast blew a hole right through Terumi's chest.

"HEY! Do you have idea how hard it was to get a new vessel?" demanded Terumi.

"You're…not dead?" asked Dio. "How fun, you can scream longer while I take you apart."

"News flash buddy, but I'm also not a human," said Terumi. "I'm a ghost. And I. Hate. You. Bloody. Vampire. Scum."

"Then I'll have to kill you agai…" started Dio, as Terumi reached out and grabbed something from Dio's head. "What was I doing again?"

"Of course it'd be fun to keep fighting you," said Terumi, holding Dio's memories from the last couple of minutes, specifically the fight. "But I'm feeling a bit peckish, so if you don't know why you're fighting, I should be fine." Terumi swallowed the memory whole, burping afterwards. "As for you…" Terumi pointed behind his opponent, to where the sun was rising above the horizon. Dio started to smoke and burn in a matter of seconds. Dio screamed in agony as he realised what had happened, until he turned to a pile of dust.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Can we even give the win to this guy? He let the sun do all the work.

**Wiz:** All part of his strategy, none the less.

**Boomstick:** Whatever, why did the ghost beat the vampire?

**Wiz:** I mean, that most of the reason right there: one's a ghost, one's a vampire. As a ghost, Terumi can go intangible, and had magic the likes of which Dio couldn't fight against. Namely, memory eating.

**Boomstick:** Dio could stop time to attack Terumi, but how much good is that going to do when you have, at best, nine seconds against a guy who can stay alive simply by wanting to be?

**Wiz:** Overall, Dio just didn't have anything in his arsenal to counter someone this powerful.

**Boomstick:** Terumi just Blazed Blue this battle.

**Wiz:** The winner is Yūki Terumi.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"According to the legends of Sinnoh, this Pokémon emerged from an egg and shaped all there is in this world."

"Gotta stop that water! Bet a time as any to give this one a try." "*name removed*! Seconded! Water stopping motion carried!"


	5. Arceus vs Alien X

Episode 5: Arceus vs Alien X

**Author's note: Pokémon and Ben 10 spoilers ahead. Just the first four series of Ben 10, not the reboot, because screw the reboot. Also, Alien X hasn't appeared in that, so it's irrelevant. Okay, here we go.**

**Wiz:** Omnipotence. The power of God. Few people can hold such immense power, and those who can are nigh unstoppable.

**Boomstick:** Then how the hell are we supposed to pick a winner out of these two?

**Wiz:** Trust me, we have.

**Boomstick:** Arceus, the Pokémon that created the universe.

**Wiz:** And Alien X, Ben Tennyson's most powerful alien. And to clarify, Ben is staying as Alien X for this fight. Not that any of his other aliens could hold their own against Arceus to begin with.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** In the beginning, there was nothing.

**Boomstick:** And then the Big Bang happened and created everything. Yeah, we know. Though what kind of beings had to bang to create everything is beyond me…

**Wiz:** Actually, in Pokémon, that's…actually, considering everything started with an egg, maybe two celestial beings had to have sex.

**Boomstick:** See, I totally know science.

**Wiz:** Anyway, this egg gave birth to the first ever Pokémon: Arceus.

**Boomstick:** Why does it look like a llama caught in a plastic beer ring?

**Wiz:** Immediately after its birth, Arceus went about creating everything, starting with three more Pokémon: Palkia, Dialga, and Giratina. Dialga was given the power to control time, Palkia the ability to control space, and Giratina just went to another dimension and began controlling antimatter.

**Boomstick:** And again I ask: why does God look like a llama stuck in a ring?

**Wiz:** Well, the ring is probably a reference to Dharmachakra or the Bhavacakra, which represents reincarnation in Hinduism. As for the horse thing…a qilin from Chinese mythology?

**Boomstick:** Whatever, if it's a god, it probably has some cool powers and shit, right?

**Wiz:** You better believe it. I mean, the ability to create anything from nothing? That's pretty impressive right there.

**Boomstick:** And it has eighteen plates, which allows to it switch its type at will.

**Wiz:** That's right. In Pokémon, all the different species have an type, or element, which determines how much damage different attacks will do to it. Arceus bypasses this by switching to whatever resists the attack coming at it.

**Boomstick:** Pretty cool. And since it's a god, it should have access to every move ever…

**Wiz:** Nope, it needs TMs, HMs, and tutors just as much as any other Pokémon.

**Boomstick:** WHAT?! That's bullshit.

**Wiz:** But Arceus learns plenty of moves naturally that can cause a bit of damage.

**Boomstick:** Seismic Toss is a Fighting-type move that deals damage equal to the user's level, which in this case will be 100. AND it affects everything the same way regardless of its type, so it can hurt Ghost types with it.

**Wiz:** Recover allows Arceus to regain any lost HP, and Hyper Beam shoots a blast of explosive energy at the opponent, though after using this the user has one turn where it can't do anything.

**Boomstick:** And let's not forget Arceus's signature move: Judgment.

**Wiz:** Judgement basically fires a bunch of explosive attacks at the enemy, and changes what type of attack it is based on Arceus's current type.

**Boomstick:** Jeez, what can kill it? Hell, can it be killed?

**Wiz:** Well, if Arceus and the Jewel of Life is to be believed, yes it can. In the movie, Arceus was bombarded with attacks from dozens of Pokémon while having silver water poured on it, which very nearly killed it.

**Boomstick:** Damn, that's brutal.

**Wiz:** However, it should be pointed out that at the time, Arceus did not have the Splash, Meadow, Zap, Earth, or Draco Plates, and all these attacks were electric, so Arceus had no chance to defend itself. Which is probably why they used water too, since Arceus didn't have anything to defend against that either.

**Boomstick:** Also, since it's a Pokémon, all you need to do is reduce its HP to 0…which would be difficult when it knows recover, can change what types hurt it, and it can deal a shitload of damage to you.

**Wiz:** Which is why Arceus is considered the Pokémon god.

**Arceus:** The time has come! Prepare for justice!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Ben Tennyson was just your average ten year old kid, on a road trip with his grandfather Max and his cousin Gwen.

**Boomstick:** Here that shippers? They're COUSINS! Stop already.

**Wiz:** They won't.

**Boomstick:** I know.

**Wiz:** Anyway, while camping in the woods, Ben witnessed a spaceship crash, which contained the powerful device known as the Omnitrix.

**Boomstick:** Are you saying that Omnitrix are for kids?

**Wiz:** *heavy sigh* *punches Boomstick* Seriously, we need to put a limit on your puns.

**Boomstick:** Worth it.

**Wiz:** Anyway, the Omnitrix attached itself to Ben's arm, and was impossible to remove.

**Boomstick:** Not that you'd want to. This thing could transform you into some super powerful aliens. There's just a great big flash, everything just changes, his molecules get all rearranged…

**Wiz:** Wrong show Boomstick.

**Boomstick:** Whatever.

**Wiz:** Anyway, initially Ben only had access to ten aliens, but over time the Omnitrix unlocked more and more aliens, until Ben eventually got perhaps the most powerful one ever: Alien X.

**Boomstick:** This thing is super powerful. Like, it fixed a broken dam in seconds flat with basically a handwave.

**Wiz:** That's probably the least impressive thing its ever done. Alien X was once able to recreate the universe nearly identically after it was destroyed by the Anihilaarg…

**Boomstick:** Adding that to the list of stupidly named weapons.

**Wiz:** Well, the full name is Anihilargenesistoriafimiaorgost, but most people only get the first part out before it explodes.

**Boomstick:** Uh huh…and how often has one of these universe destroying weapons exploded that they've been able to confirm this?

**Wiz:** I…actually, that's a good point.

**Boomstick:** So, if this thing can create universes, does it even have weaknesses?

**Wiz:** Well, one pretty potent weakness is the fact that it has three beings controlling it.

**Boomstick:** Shouldn't that make it three times as powerful?

**Wiz:** No, as in it has three voices in its head, and every decision it makes needs a two-to-one vote to be made before it can do anything.

**Boomstick:** That…seems really inconvenient.

**Wiz:** Which is probably why the writers vetoed it Omniverse by having Ben convince Serena, the voice of love and compassion, and Bellicus, the voice of rage and aggression, to just let him have free reign of Alien X.

**Boomstick:** Oh, so he's useful now. Guess he uses him all the time now.

**Wiz:** In the remaining twenty two episodes after that happens, Alien X appears twice more, once as a cameo.

**Boomstick:** ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

**Wiz:** I know. Ben could easily solve all his problems with this thing, and never uses it.

**Boomstick:** God damn it. Well, has Alien X got any other problems?

**Wiz:** Well, you know how I said the universe was NEARLY identical?

**Boomstick:** Yeah?

**Wiz:** That's because Ben couldn't quite replicate Mr. Smoothie's grape flavour.

**Boomstick:** That…seems like a very minor point. Let's just say it: this guy's pretty much unstoppable.

**Rook:** Alien X is awesome!

**Alien X:** Told ya.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

_Scene cuts._

Floating high above Earth, Arceus looks down upon it. "Humans," it said. "Once upon a time, they tried to kill me." Arceus eyed the planet, thinking. "I should return the favour."

Before he could do anything though, a spaceship pulled up in front of him. "Not so fast," said Ben, scrolling through his Ultimatrix. "Listen space llama, I'm not going to let you destroy the Earth."

"Oh, is that so human?" mocked Arceus. "And how do you plan on stopping me?"

"Like this," said Ben, finding the alien he needed. "Let's go, Alien X." Ben hit the button on the Ultimatrix, which transformed him into his chosen form as he burst out from the spaceship.

"Bring it on, freak," said Alien X, charging at Arceus.

**FIGHT!**

Alien X immediately started throwing some heavy punches, knocking Arceus back, who switched itself to a Psychic type to take the attacks.

"SEISMIC TOSS!" yelled Arceus, flying at Alien X and wrapping its legs around it, before slamming it into the moon.

"Get off me," said Alien X, forcing Arceus back with its mind.

"Oh, you shift types too?" asked Arceus, switching to a Dark-type. Suddenly, Alien X's psychic attacks stopped working.

"Uh, I guess," said Alien X.

"Then let's see how you like this," said Arceus, a large amount of power gathering in its mouth. "HYPER BEAM!" Arceus blasted it at Alien X, who tried to hold back the attack from hitting the Moon, before being sent right through it. "Hmph, pathetic."

"Who are you calling pathetic?" demanded Alien X, flying back at Arceus extremely fast.

"WHAT?!" demanded Arceus, as Alien X started brutally laying punches into it. "Damn it, I need to chance to recharge."

"Yeah, like you're gonna get it," said Alien X, punching Arceus hard enough to send it into the Asteroid Belt. Alien X flies after it, grabbing an asteroid as it went. "Now, to end this…"

"RECOVER!" yelled Arceus, as a bright flash glowed around it. Just as quickly, Arceus changed its type to Steel, allowing Alien X to hit it with the rock. "Now, time to face your JUDGMENT!" A bunch of balls of energy started flying at Alien X, smacking him into a meteor. "Now die. HYPER BEAM!" Arceus charged up its attack, and unleashed a huge amount of energy at its opponent.

"NOO!" yelled Alien X, as it began disintegrating. Soon, there was nothing left of Alien X.

"Pathetic human," said Arceus, flying away.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Holy shit, how did we even manage to figure out a winner for this? And why was it the llama?

**Wiz:** It's true, omnipotence is a tricky power to figure out. However, there was one minor detail that determined the victor.

**Boomstick:** And what minor detail would that…oh, you're kidding me.

**Wiz:** That's right, when Alien X recreated the universe, it got everything right. EXCEPT for the flavour of Mr. Smoothie's grape smoothie.

**Boomstick:** A battle of omnipotent beings, and the winner was determined by a GRAPE SMOOTHIE?!

**Wiz:** Well, that and the fact that Alien X only had to recreate everything, whereas Arceus created everything from scratch. That's like comparing someone who made a well-made forgery of the Mona Lisa to Leonardo da Vinci.

**Boomstick:** Also, Arceus had all those plates to change its type, so as soon as it knew what it was up against, it just had to change around to something that wouldn't be affected.

**Wiz:** In the end, Arceus's superior power and adaptability were too much for Alien X.

**Boomstick:** Alien X just became an ex-alien.

**Wiz:** The winner is Arceus.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle.

"This is not a tragedy. This was not an accident. This is what happens when you hand over your trust, your safety, your children, to men who claim to be our guardians but are in reality nothing more than men."

"We are but men, drawn to act in the name of revenge that we deem to be justice. But... if there is justice in revenge then that same justice will breed only more revenge... and trigger a cycle of hatred."


	6. Cinder Fall vs Nagato

Episode 6: Cinder Fall vs Nagato

**Author's note: RWBY and Naruto spoilers coming up. So I better not see any complaints about them.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** War and peace may be two opposing forces, but sometimes to achieve the latter, you need to do the former.

**Boomstick:** You want to create peace…by murdering people? Seems like a bit of a contradiction.

**Wiz:** Well, today's combatants are trying to prove that, in order to bring peace, you need to remove a few people.

**Boomstick:** Cinder Fall, the current Fall Maiden from RWBY.

**Wiz:** And Nagato, better known as Pain, from Naruto.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** The world of Remnant is crazy, swarming with creature called Grimm…

**Boomstick:** We know, we covered this in Episode 1.

**Wiz:** *sigh* Well, too bad, we've gotta cover some of it again.

**Boomstick:** Well, at least it gives me an excuse to check out the awesome weapons again. So, these Grimm wanted to destroy the world, and…

**Wiz:** Technically, that's Salem.

**Boomstick:** What?

**Wiz:** I mean, we need to talk about Salem before we get to Cinder.

**Boomstick:** So we're not gonna talk about exactly the same thing this time around?

**Wiz:** No. Why would we do that? Besides, Cinder's a villain, so her backstory isn't anything like Blake's.

**Boomstick:** Aren't they both terrorists or something?

**Wiz:** …anyway, long story short, Salem's an immortal witch being punished by the Gods of Light and Darkness for trying to defy them a few times. In order to combat this, the Gods brought back her former husband Ozma, and gave him the power to reincarnate as often as needed to defeat Salem once and for all.

**Boomstick:** Ozma, or as he's known currently, Ozpin, founded the Huntsman academies to train warriors in order to fight her. Oh, and defeat creatures of Grimm and protect the people of Remnant, but mostly to defeat Salem.

**Wiz:** Obviously, Salem didn't want this to happen, so she recruited a young woman from Mistral named Cinder Fall.

**Boomstick:** But why? Wouldn't an immortal witch be able to just destroy everything extremely easily?

**Wiz:** She's not exactly a covert operative with that look. Cinder on the other hand looks perfectly normal, so she's perfect for undercover and espionage missions.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, turns out Salem's big plan was to undermine the integrity of the Huntsman academies and make the general public distrust them. And with all the negative emotion going around, it would make Grimm, which she controls, swarm the cities. Damn, what a mindscrew.

**Wiz:** And like I said, this would not have been possible without someone to infiltrate the academies. Cinder is ruthless and sadistic, and is not above anything if it gets the job done, including the brutal murder of a defenceless Pyrrha.

**Boomstick:** *wiping away a tear* Dude, why'd you have to bring up Pyrrha getting de-Cinder-grated?

**Wiz:** …just…no. Anyway, Cinder's weapon of choice is…well, basically glass.

**Boomstick:** Oh, just like me.

**Wiz:** …what? You don't have a glass based wea…

**Boomstick:** *throws an empty beer bottle at Wiz* You were saying?

**Wiz:** You son of a bitch. Anyway, Cinder's weapon is nothing like that. She controls glass to create her weapons. Generally she'll turn the glass into swords for close range attacks, and a bow for ranged attacking.

**Boomstick:** And those aren't just any arrows, those are also glass, which she can melt down and reform while they're flying, and they won't lose any momentum.

**Wiz:** That is not science. That is nothing even close to resembling science.

**Boomstick:** She also used to have a special glove that allowed her to absorb the powers of a Maiden. Wait, does that mean…

**Wiz:** No. At least, not necessarily. You see, in Remnant, there are four women who possess extraordinary abilities known as the four Maidens. Each Maiden is named after a season: Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. Cinder has the…

**Boomstick:** Ooh, ooh, let me guess. The FALL power?

**Wiz:** …yeah, they weren't very subtle about it.

**Boomstick:** Basically, Cinder used this glove to absorb some of the Fall Maiden's power, only to be interrupted by Qrow…and then she completed the transfer by murdering the girl she stole it from later. And then she got her left arm replaced with a Grimm arm later anyway.

**Wiz:** How potent is a Maiden's power? Well, Ozpin told Pyrrha she'd be in the way if she tried to help him fight her, and they were planning to transfer the Maiden's power into her since she's one of the strongest young Huntresses around.

**Boomstick:** Because of this, Cinder gained a shitload of new powers, preferring to use her pyrokinesis, but based on what Amber, her predecessor, could do, she can also levitate, wield lightning, use huge gusts of wind, and freeze stuff. Damn, that's a lot of power.

**Wiz:** Cinder also has her Aura as a defence. As we explained with Blake, Aura can act as a kind of shield to protect its user, heal minor wounds, and can even be used offensively.

**Boomstick:** Don't most people in this show have a super power they can use too?

**Wiz:** Their Semblance? Yeah…we don't know Cinder's yet. Cinder's fighting glass is pretty unique, but Ruby clearly states that she doesn't think that was her Semblance. Then again, with all this other stuff, Cinder doesn't really need a Semblance too.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, she's pretty powerful. Almost like she doesn't have some kind of weakness…

**Wiz:** Well, there's people with silver eyes.

**Boomstick:** …what?

**Wiz:** In Remnant, those with silver eyes like Ruby Rose are said to be among the most powerful of warriors, and these powers are a potent kryptonite to anyone with a Maiden power. And also to the Grimm, so Cinder's doubly affected.

**Boomstick:** Luckily for her, Nagato hasn't got that, so what else kills her?

**Wiz:** Well, like everyone in Remnant, her Aura can be overtaxed, which will eventually kill her if she doesn't have time to replenish it.

**Boomstick:** Still, with all these powers and all that craziness, Cinder is not one for Fall for.

**Wiz:** You really have to stop.

**Cinder:** It's not about overpowering an enemy. It's about taking away what power they have.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Amegakure, the Village Hidden by Rain…

**Boomstick:** So, Wales?

**Wiz:** *heavy sigh* Anyway, this village is situated between three of the Five Great Shinobi Nations.

**Boomstick:** And since these guys like having World Wars twice as much as we do in the real world, they ended up being the site for quite a few of these battles.

**Wiz:** During the second Shinobi War, a young boy and his parents were hiding in their home when two ninjas from Konoha broke in looking for food, and when the civilians tried to escape, attacked the ninjas to protect their son, and died.

**Boomstick:** Wait, isn't Konoha the village Naruto's from? Like, as in, the GOOD guys?

**Wiz:** To be fair, they didn't realise they were civilians, and apologised to the boy afterwards.

**Boomstick:** Oh, wow, that's such a great way to make it up to him. "Hey kid, sorry we murdered your parents in cold blood after we broke into your house."

**Wiz:** The child was, of course, Nagato. Overcome with grief from his parent's deaths, he immediately killed the two ninjas by himself.

**Boomstick:** HOLY SHIT! And his parents thought he needed protection?

**Wiz:** To be fair, I don't think they knew about Madara Uchiha giving him the Rinnegan.

**Boomstick:** The what?

**Wiz:** More on that once we finish the backstory. Anyway, Nagato was now an orphan…

**Boomstick:** Like about 90% of the combatants in this series.

**Wiz:** …Nagato tried to survive in a war torn country, hunting for food with two other orphans he met named Konan and Yahiko. The three agreed to work together to end all wars and bring around a new era of peace. To do this, they wanted to be taught by one of the three most powerful ninjas in Konoha.

**Boomstick:** Orochimaru offered to end their suffering by killing them, because…well, he's Orochimaru, but Jiraiya agreed to help them learn to look after themselves with basic survival skills, but would not teach them ninjutsu. Which seems like a waste of a good tutor if you ask me.

**Wiz:** He changed his mind when Nagato killed a couple of attacking ninjas with his Rinnegan.

**Boomstick:** Seriously, what is that?

**Wiz:** Magic eye power. But we're still doing the backstory, so not yet.

**Boomstick:** I swear, if you say that word one more time…

**Wiz:** Anyway, believing that Nagato was destined to usher in a world of peace, Jiraiya trained the three of them for three years, by which time they could defeat one of his shadow clones.

**Boomstick:** The three of them formed a group called the Akatsuki, whose message was about ending war. And it was working. They were even gaining supporters to their cause.

**Wiz:** So many so that Amegakure's current leader was feeling threatened by them. And tried to kill them. Which led to Yahiko's death.

**Boomstick:** So, Nagato decided to kill them, but in the process kinda messed up his legs. And came to the conclusion that peace wasn't possible. At least, not without causing a huge freaking war to make people realise how good peace is. Probably why he adopted the name Pain.

**Wiz:** Being crippled from the fight with Hanzō, Nagato decided to create the Six Paths of Pain out of corpses, coincidentally out of six missing S-class ninjas that Jiraiya knew when they were alive.

**Boomstick:** He has necrophilia as a power?

**Wiz:** No, this is necromancy.

**Boomstick:** What did I say?

**Wiz:** Something very, VERY different.

**Boomstick:** Oh…can we move on to powers now?

**Wiz:** Sure, why not?

**Boomstick:** Good. Now, what's that magic eye power you kept say?

**Wiz:** Yes, well, the Rinnegan is meant to be the most powerful of the Three Great Dōjutsu, beating the Sharingan and the Byakugan, to the point where it is believed that anyone who comes along with the Rinnegan will either save or destroy the world.

**Boomstick:** Cool. So does it, like, shoot lasers or some shit?

**Wiz:** Probably. These things grant the user a LOT of special abilities, from small things like allowing the user to see chakra, to the ability to master any jutsu.

**Boomstick:** What about the whole reanimating the dead thing? Is that part of it?

**Wiz:** Indeed it is. This is done through Black Receivers, body piercings that Nagato channels his chakra through. The first corpse he reanimated was that of his friend Yahiko, while the others were basically just corpses he had handy.

**Boomstick:** How often do people just have corpses handy?

**Wiz:** I…erm…don't…normally. Anyway, this technique also allows the user to use the many bodies as a way to cover their blind spots, distract an enemy, or even just overwhelm them with numbers.

**Boomstick:** This technique sounds awesome. JOCELYN! Grab my shovel, I'm going grave robbing.

**Wiz:** There are a couple of major drawbacks to this move.

**Boomstick:** You just HAD to ruin it.

**Wiz:** If the user is distracted or killed, the bodies become useless. Also, the technique is best employed when either high up, or close to the body's being controlled.

**Boomstick:** You sure know how to take a good thing and make it sound sucky.

**Wiz:** Nagato's Six Paths are the Deva Path, which gives the power to control stuff in a manner similar to telekinesis; the Asura Path, which gives the user artificial weapons and armour; the Human Path, which gives the ability to read minds…

**Boomstick:** Bor-ing.

**Wiz:** By ripping the victims soul out of their body.

**Boomstick:** …less boring.

**Wiz:** …the Animal Path, which gives the ability to summon animals; the Preta Path, which allows the user to absorb chakra; and finally there's the Naraka Path, which is good for interrogation and restoration.

**Boomstick:** So, how's this a fair fight? It's six against one.

**Wiz:** Or so it would appear. You remember how I said Nagato got hurt saving his friends? And how the corpses are useless if he's distracted enough? Well…he's a little crippled.

**Boomstick:** So, he sucks when he has to face opponents head on?

**Wiz:** Hey, if you've gotten past six undead bodyguards to kill someone, your obviously doing something right.

**Boomstick:** Well, I guess when your corpses are strong enough to destroy a village, you don't need to be particularly agile.

**Nagato:** Even a foolish child can grow up in a right way, when he learns what pain is. Knowing pain controls ones thoughts and decisions.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

_Scene cuts._

"Behind you," said Blake, as Mikasa turned to see Blake holding her pistol. Blake fired three shots in quick succession, one in Mikasa's leg, one in her chest, and one in her shoulder. Mikasa screamed in agony as she fell to the ground. "Goodbye," said Blake, drawing her sword and stabbing Mikasa through the face, letting the body fall to the ground. Blake withdrew her blade and sheathed it, before jumping off the building.

On a building on the other side of the street, Cinder watched the scene, her bow drawn. "Well, there's one of Ruby's friends," she said, steadying her aim. "I guess we'll see how well your team does with only three members."

"What are you doing?" asked someone behind her.

Cinder sighed and lowered her weapon. "I need revenge on someone," said Cinder, turning to face whoever it is. "So if you don't mind…" Cinder cut herself off, seeing there were six people facing her. "Oh…there's a few of you, aren't there?"

"Revenge is an idea I can support," said the one who had spoken (the Deva Path). "But should be taken against the one who wronged you, not their friends like a coward, and not while they have no idea that's what you're doing."

"How dare you speak to me like that?" snapped Cinder, her eye suddenly blazing. "I will make you burn for that."

"You will fail," said the Deva Path, readying himself for battle while the other five Paths started spreading out.

**FIGHT!**

Cinder immediately started throwing fireballs at each of the Paths, with varying degrees of success. The Deva Path was able to deflect it, the Asura Path took the blow with seemingly no damage, the Human Path was thrown back by it, the Animal Path summoned a giant crustacean to take the blow instead, the Preta Path absorbed the blow, and the Naraka Path took the blow and fell down, obviously wounded.

"Damn it," said the Naraka Path, summoning the King of Hell and climbing into its mouth.

"What the hell is that?" demanded Cinder, looking at it in horror. "You know what? It doesn't matter. It'll die too."

"Don't you worry about that," said the Animal Path. "Worry about us." The Animal Path began summoning a bunch of monsters, including a giant ox, a giant rhino, and a giant centipede.

Cinder changed her weapons into their sword forms, and started slicing the monsters as they got close to her. Most went down after slicing through vital organs, but a giant multi-headed dog kept splitting apart whenever she cut it. "Normally when I kill something, it stays dead," she said. "Unless…" Cinder turned her attention to the Animal Path, and reverted her weapon back to its bow form, firing an arrow at him.

"NO!" yelled the Human Path, running in front of the Animal Path to take the arrow. The arrow seemed to strike the Human Path in the chest…

…only for the arrow to turn to dust, float around the Human Path, and continue at its normal speed straight into the Animal Path's face. He didn't even have time to let out a surprised gasp as he fell over dead.

Cinder stood in front of the Human Path, who was staring at her fallen companion in shock. "You tried to sacrifice yourself," said Cinder. "Admirable. Let me show you what I did to the last girl who sacrificed herself to save others." Cinder placed her hand on the Human Path's head. There was a yellow flash, and suddenly the Human Path turned to ashes.

"Well, that's three down," said Cinder, picking up her bow. "Who's next?"

"You might want to count again," said the Deva Path, standing with the Asura, Preta, and Naraka Paths.

"What? I took down that one," said Cinder, pointing at the Naraka. "Unless…" Cinder suddenly remembered that the Naraka Path had climbed into the mouth of the King of Hell, sitting across the battlefield from her. "Oh, so it's some kind of rejuvenating tank, is it? Guess I need to get rid of it." Cinder revealed her Grimm arm and stretched it at the King of Hell…

…only for the Deva Path to slice through it with ease. Cinder screamed in agony, with her eye flaring up, as the other members surrounded her and pinned her real arm behind her. "Guess we have a new Human Path," said the Deva Path, stabbing Cinder through the heart. "Come, we need to bring her back to base."

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Well, I guess all's well that ends well for Nagato.

**Wiz:** Yeah, this battle was a little one-sided in retrospect.

**Boomstick:** So, why did we make her fight the Six Paths of Pain rather than just Nagato himself? I mean, he regains mobility during the Fourth Shinobi War, and still has all the same powers, so why not just make it one on one?

**Wiz:** Because we prefer combatants at their peak, and let's face it, having six ultra-powerful minions at your command makes you pretty near unstoppable.

**Boomstick:** And that's pretty much how Nagato won, right?

**Wiz:** Pretty much, though the outcome wouldn't be much different if it had been just Nagato able to walk. The King of Hell could heal Nagato if he got too injured, and the multi-headed dog would be the perfect distraction while he did so.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, the only thing that's ever killed that thing is killing the one who summoned it. And if you can't kill him quickly, especially when you only have a finite amount of power to begin with, you're not winning that.

**Wiz:** True, Cinder has more power than most people in RWBY, but a finite amount of power will run out eventually. In the end, Nagato's superior numbers, and versatile techniques, gave him the edge he needed to defeat his opponent.

**Boomstick:** Cinder just took a Fall.

**Wiz:** The winner is Nagato.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"I've got some children I need to turn into CORPSES!"

"Before any creation must come destruction!"


	7. Bill Cipher vs Beerus

Episode 7: Bill Cipher vs Beerus

**Author's note: Gravity Falls and Dragon Ball spoilers. Probably. Don't be stupid and read this if you don't want them spoiled. Then again, if you're reading one of my fics, you're probably already stupid. Enjoy.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** In the beginning, God created the universe. But if there are gods who can create, surely this means there must be gods who can destroy too.

**Boomstick:** Bill Cipher, that Illuminati triangle guy from Gravity Falls.

**Wiz:** And Beerus, the God of Destruction from Dragon Ball.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Gravity Falls, Oregon, is a small, peaceful town.

**Boomstick:** Except for all the weird supernatural shit that would make the Winchesters say "screw this, we're out."

**Wiz:** Gnomes, merpeople, unicorns, ogres, as well as more bizarre monsters like the multi-bear and tiny golf ball people are just regular, everyday occurrences.

**Boomstick:** But none of these are as horrifying as the demon known simply as…Bill. Wait, what? That is the least horrifying name ever.

**Wiz:** Don't be fooled. His real name would destroy any mortal who hears it. Plus, Bill Cipher is one of the most powerful interdimensional beings in existence.

**Boomstick:** He looks like a corn chip wearing a top hat.

**Wiz:** Don't judge a book by its cover Boomstick. Bill has existed for trillions of years, and has despised existence for almost as long as that. In fact, he grew so sick of his home dimension that he plunged it into a burning hellscape.

**Boomstick:** So what? I'd do that too if I was doomed to be a triangle.

**Wiz:** After destroying the second dimension, Bill moved to the Nightmare Realm, which collapsed in on itself. However, there was a prophecy…

**Boomstick:** Of course there was. Let me guess: it told the fate of the world in an extremely vague manner?

**Wiz:** Yep. Anyway, the prophecy told of Bill's emergence in the human world, so Bill started contacting humans in hopes of having one of them bring him to their world. And after hundreds of years, he finally made it into the mind of a man named Stanford Pines.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, turns out Ford here was trying to figure out why there was so much weird shit in town, and he stumbled across the way to summon a demon. Who's have thought it?

**Wiz:** Ford eventually figured out that Bill was manipulating him into trying to open a portal to the Nightmare Realm, so he tried to get rid of all his research to do with Bill, in hopes that no-one would find out about him, before accidentally getting stuck in the Nightmare Realm himself for the next thirty years.

**Boomstick:** Jeez, that's harsh, being stuck in my ex-wife's house for that long.

**Wiz:** Unfortunately, Gideon Gleeful, wanting revenge on the Pines family, summoned Bill from his Realm to deal with them.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, because I'm sure a TRIANGLE is such a big threat to people.

**Wiz:** Seriously Boomstick, stop underestimating him. Even before gaining a physical form, Bill was shown to be capable of reading people's minds, creating anything from nothing, and changing his physical appearance as necessary.

**Boomstick:** And when he gained a physical form?

**Wiz:** He becomes practically omnipotent.

**Boomstick:** …okay, that's pretty good.

**Wiz:** He can create anything, from objects to new dimensions, bring inanimate objects to life, and regenerate any part of his body that gets destroyed. He also has abilities like teleportation, telekinesis, pyrokinesis, mind control, reality warping, size and shape manipulation, even fourth wall awareness.

**Boomstick:** Oh Christ, it's like an even more powerful Deadpool.

**Wiz:** And he controls space, matter, and time, and resists reality-warping and space-time manipulation.

**Boomstick:** Wait, so he can warp reality, controls space, time, and people's minds, and is extremely powerful? Does he also do whatever the Soul Stone does?

**Wiz:** Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Bill could summon the dead. He can do practically everything else.

**Boomstick:** Except die.

**Wiz:** Well…

**Boomstick:** Seriously, what the hell can beat something this freaking powerful?

**Wiz:** Well, one way is to use a ten symbolled zodiac.

**Boomstick:** Don't they normally have twelve symbols?

**Wiz:** They do, but this one only has ten. And in any case, it also requires ten specific people, so it's very difficult to pull off unless you know about it and have nine other people to help you with it.

**Boomstick:** Cool. So he's unbeatable?

**Wiz:** Well…

**Boomstick:** Oh, COME THE HELL ON!

**Wiz:** Stanley Pines, Ford's brother, actually willing let Bill into his mind so that Ford could erase Stan's mind with Bill in it. Seeing as how Bill didn't just escape, and even tried to bargain with Stan, this implies that Bill isn't always in complete control of someone's mind.

**Boomstick:** Any other dumb weaknesses you want to throw at me?

**Wiz:** His regeneration takes a bit of time to do, once complaining about how long it took his eye to be brought back. Also, he is confined to Gravity Falls, as shown when he caused Weirdmageddon and he couldn't affect anything outside it. The only way out was with the help of an equation that only Ford knew, so he's only the most powerful being in existence within Gravity Falls.

**Boomstick:** Well, I guess if you're going to be destroyed by a homicidal triangle, Bill's…probably the only option in that department.

**Bill:** For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for a new universe to call my own. Name's Bill! But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** We've seen many extraordinarily powerful people in Dragon Ball. Goku, Vegeta, Majin Buu. But none of them come close to being a god.

**Boomstick:** Come on dude, how much more powerful can any of them get?

**Wiz:** At least as powerful as Beerus, apparently.

**Boomstick:** Aww, he's a kitty cat. Kinda cute.

**Wiz:** He's also Universe 7's God of Destruction.

**Boomstick:** …yeah, that's pretty cool too.

**Wiz:** Beerus has existed for hundreds of millions of years, and is the most feared being in all of his universe. Beings like King Vegeta, Frieza, even Shenron and King Kai are scared of him.

**Boomstick:** Well, yeah. You would be too, if someone was strong enough to effortlessly knock out Super Saiyan 3 Goku in TWO blows. They weren't even hard. It looks like he just gave him a little love tap.

**Wiz:** As a God of Destruction, it's Beerus's job to destroy planets so that new ones can be created. However, it's never a set number, or even set planets, that he destroys. Many times Beerus has destroyed important planets because he felt like it, and the Kais of the universe just had to deal with it.

**Boomstick:** That must be pretty awesome, being able to leave everything a mess and tell a bunch of gods to just deal with it.

**Wiz: **This went on until one day, the Oracle Fish told Beerus that one day he'd face an opponent that might just be his equal: a Super Saiyan God.

**Boomstick:** So let me guess, he immediately set off to Earth to fight Goku?

**Wiz:** Actually, he went to sleep for thirty nine years, THEN went to Earth.

**Boomstick:** That's one hell of a nap.

**Wiz:** That's the thing with Beerus, he frequently takes decades long naps, then just casually destroys planets before going back to sleep.

**Boomstick:** How do I apply to be one of these Gods of Destruction?

**Wiz:** That's not how it works. Anyway, Beerus travelled to Earth to find the Super Saiyan God, only to find out it didn't exist yet. Luckily, Goku and his friends worked out how to attain this level, and Goku fought Beerus in this new form. This battle caused Beerus to decide not to destroy the Earth, and he went back to sleep.

**Boomstick:** Wow, lazy.

**Wiz:** He woke up three years later when Goku and Vegeta were training with Whis. Since then, he's frequently watched the two of them training to get stronger, in the hopes of having a rival capable of keeping up with him.

**Boomstick:** Wow, a combatant that barely fights. Why are we letting this guy fight again?

**Wiz:** Because he's still pretty damn powerful, and there's enough information about his battle capabilities to bring him into battle.

**Boomstick:** Alright, what have we got for him?

**Wiz:** Well, according to Whis, Beerus's first fight with Super Saiyan God Goku made him use approximately seventy percent of his full strength. Keep in mind, Goku was the strongest person in the universe up until Beerus was introduced, and this is in a universe with characters who can casually destroy planets with as much effort you use to blow your nose. And we've seen Beerus use less than three quarters of his full potential.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, you know you're in trouble when the guy you're facing accidentally destroyed several planets because he was freaking out over how hot wasabi was.

**Wiz:** Hell, if sufficiently angered, Beerus can wipe out an entire solar system with very little effort. Super Saiyan Gotenks couldn't even keep up with him. Hell, his power level is so high that Goku and his friends can't sense it, since they can't comprehend it.

**Boomstick:** A tap from this guy's finger can destroy half a planet. That's not even getting into all his abilities, like flight, ki blasts, and just being so terrifyingly powerful that he can make someone freeze in place by staring at them. So, how do you kill this guy?

**Wiz:** Honestly, the only known way to kill him is by killing Shin.

**Boomstick:** You mean like that Achilles guy with the ankle thing?

**Wiz:** Yes, but actually no. Shin isn't a part of his body, Shin is better known as the Supreme Kai, basically another, slightly less important god.

**Boomstick:** So, to kill a god, you need to kill a god?

**Wiz:** Keep in mind, they can be killed. King Kai was killed when Cell blew up his planet, and Old Kai willingly gave up his life to bring Goku back to life when Super Buu was rampaging across Earth. Plus, Shin doesn't have many scenes where he actually fights, with the best statement about his overall power being that he can beat Frieza in one blow, but is far weaker than Majin Buu.

**Boomstick:** Well, this is definitely one kitty I don't want scratching up my couch.

**Beerus:** Give up, and accept your planet's fate!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

In the woods of Gravity Falls, Beerus and Whis were strolling through the trees, observing the bizarre wildlife. "Whis, are you sure this is an appropriate place to bring Goku and Vegeta to train?" asked Beerus. "I mean, I don't mind turning this whole continent to ashes, but those two get in such a huff when the planet, especially 'innocent bystanders', happen to be in the way."

"I'll admit, this place isn't as abandoned as I'd hoped," said Whis. "Still, there's something…odd about this place, wouldn't you agree?"

"Now that you mention it, there is a weird power level floating around here," said Beerus, before coming to a complete stop with Whis. "Is it me, or does it seem to be coming from that?" Beerus pointed at an odd, triangle shaped statue.

"How strange," said Whis, carefully examining it. "I've never understood Earth art and architecture."

"Whatever it is, I don't like it," said Beerus, charging an energy blast. "Whis, I'm getting rid of this."

"Whatever you say, my lord," said Whis, moving out of the way. Beerus threw the energy blast, causing a huge explosion. "Might have been a bit much, Lord Beerus."

"Yeah, I gue…" started Beerus, who stopped mid-sentence and stared into the smoke where the statue had just been. Except now, there was a glowing yellow triangle.

"Woo, free of that at last," said Bill, dusting himself off before looking up at the other two. "Oh hey there. Human evolution has definitely taken a weird turn. I love it!"

"We are not human," said Whis. "What kind of creature would you be?"

"Oh, where are my manners?" asked Bill. "Name's Bill. You probably know me better as the bringer of destruction and chaos though." At this, Beerus started laughing. "Umm, is he okay?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Beerus. "I thought you just said you were the bringer of destruction, when that title belongs to me."

"Aww, isn't that cute, the kitty thinks he's a threat," said Bill. "Beat it Mittens. The big boy has a world to decimate."

Beerus stopped laughing and stared dagger at Bill. "Oh, you're serious?" asked Beerus. "I can destroy entire galaxies in minutes. You don't want me angry with you."

"ME-OW!" said Bill, pretending to claw the sky. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the kitty litter."

Beerus glared at Bill some more. "Whis, how long until I have to meet Goku and Vegeta?"

"About ten minutes," said Whis.

"Nine more than I need," said Beerus, flying at Bill.

**FIGHT!**

Beerus started throwing a barrage of punches at Bill, which Bill blocked with a powerful forcefield. "Ha ha, you can't get me," said Bill smugly, just as Beerus punched through his forcefield. "Uh oh." Beerus immediately started landing blow after blow on Bill, before throwing him into the ground.

"Such arrogance," said Beerus, as a huge blast of electricity flew out of the ground and struck him. "Oh, you're still alive?"

"Yeah, it's difficult to beat someone feared by eleventh dimensional beings," said Bill. "Now, allow me to show you true weirdness."

"…weirdness?" asked Beerus, as Weirdness Bubbles floated towards him. "Bubbles? Really?" growled Beerus, punching one as it came too close. However, suddenly the world seemed to be drawn in crayon. "What is this?" demanded Beerus, as the bubble drifted away and everything returned to normal.

"I told you, things are going to get weird," said Bill from somewhere, but Beerus couldn't see him. Suddenly, another bubble touched him, turning everything upside down.

"Reveal yourself, weakling," snapped Beerus, as the world righted itself. Beerus glanced around frantically, only for another bubble to encase him, this time turning him into a dog version of himself. "THAT'S IT!" Beerus charged up dozens of energy blasts, and unleashed them all at the same time, destroying the bubbles. However, as Beerus looked up after using the attack, he felt himself getting a headache.

"You don't seem to be as mentally scarred as most people after encountering the Weirdness Bubbles," said Bill. "Let me just check your head, see if I can find why that is."

"GET…OFF…OF…ME!" yelled Beerus, pushing Bill off of him, before sending a Ki blast straight through Bill's eye.

"HEY! Do you have any idea how long it takes to regrow that," said Bill, falling to the ground.

"Hopefully not too long, otherwise you won't get to see me kick the crap out of you," said Beerus, kicking Bill as hard as he could. Beerus disappeared from view, and appeared again where Bill was flying. Beerus thought he saw Bill bounce off something in the middle of the air, but didn't think much of it as he slammed his fists into Bill, sending him straight into the ground.

"Hey, that hurts," said Bill. "And not the hilarious hurting like when I'm in Dipper. I mean the bad kind, when I get…" Before he could finish, Beerus picked up the triangular demon, charged up a Ki blast, and let loose over the top of Bill's head.

"You talk too much," said Beerus, turning his back to Bill.

"And you don't know when your opponent is still alive and kicking," said Bill, coming out of his hole, though now he was red and had quite a few more arms. "This is one kitty that needs to be put down." Bill grabbed Beerus, and immediately slammed him face first into the ground. Then, Bill started landing punches from all of his dozens fists at the same time, followed by jumping on Beerus. Finally, Bill charged up his eye laser, and blasted Beerus with it at point blank range. "Hmm, guess you've been declawed."

"My Lord," cried Whis, seeing Beerus somewhat beaten and bloodied on the ground.

"Don't worry about me Whis," said Beerus, standing back up. "I think I know his weakness. Just in case though, I want you to protect Shin."

"But…my Lord…" started Whis.

"Do as I say," said Beerus.

"As you wish," said Whis, disappearing with a quick flash.

"My weakness, eh?" asked Bill. "Seems like I'm the one with all the power right now, which I will now be using to crush you with."

"Oh really?" asked Beerus, flying past Bill as quickly as he could. "Can you do it while I'm over here?"

"Pfft, duh," said Bill, raising his fist. "Watch thi…" Before the fist could connect, it seemed to hit some kind of invisible wall.

"Just as I thought," said Beerus. "You're trapped in that town. No matter what you do, you can't get out, so as long as I stay here, you can't touch me."

"Yeah, well, what can you do from there?" demanded Bill. "It's not like you have some kind of giant death ball that can obliterate my entire body."

"You mean like this one?" asked Beerus, now holding a giant ball of energy.

"Yeah, like that one," said Bill, before realising what was happening. "Uh oh…"

"Goodbye," said Beerus, throwing the blast at Bill. Bill tried to hold it back, but the sheer power of it disintegrated him as he tried to hold it back.

"No no no no NO!" screamed Bill, as the blast engulfed him and destroyed him completely, as well as most of the Gravity Falls forest.

"Ooh…" said Beerus. "Goku and Vegeta aren't going to like that. Oh well, what are they going to do about it?" Beerus flew away from the scene, as though to pretend this had nothing to do with him.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Wow, a lot less destruction than I expected from those two.

**Wiz:** There's no doubt, that battle was extremely close. Both combatants are extremely powerful. In fact, arguably Bill was more powerful than Beerus in every way.

**Boomstick:** Then how the hell did Beerus win?

**Wiz:** Because Bill can't leave Gravity Falls. Beerus would definitely have been able to punch Bill hard enough to send him to the edge of where he can go, and would simply head outside Gravity Falls to destroy him from there. And he definitely has the power to do so.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, casually destroying planets gives you that sort of leverage over your opponent. But couldn't Bill just attack Beerus from within Gravity Falls?

**Wiz:** Actually, as seen in the Weirdmageddon episodes, Bill's power also can't get out of Gravity Falls. He may be the most powerful being in existence, but only within his home turf.

**Boomstick:** And Bill's regeneration?

**Wiz:** Well, it's true Bill can regrow as much of his body as he wants. However, what can he regrow from if every part of his body is destroyed? There's nothing in canon to say this would work, but most works where a character has a powerful healing factor, total disintegration means death.

**Boomstick:** Beerus can change his name to The Bride, because he just killed Bill.

**Wiz:** The winner is Beerus.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

"Are you a God-fearing man, Senator? It's such a strange phrase. I've always thought of God as a teacher. As a bringer of light, wisdom and understanding."


	8. Darth Vader vs Magneto

Episode 8: Darth Vader vs Magneto

**Author's note: Star Wars and X-Men spoilers ahead. Specifically, the movies for these franchises. Like I said at the beginning of Blake vs Mikasa, I'll only ever use one version of the character, so that contradictions from using multiple versions won't be a problem. And when there is more than one version of the character to choose from, I pick the one(s) I believe most people will be familiar with, and/or from the same type of media (since powers in comics can often be significantly more than in movies or TV shows). But back to spoilers: if you haven't seen Dark Phoenix yet, don't worry. I haven't yet either, since very few cinemas in my area have it on at a convenient time or place for me. So hopefully there weren't any feats in that which could have altered the results one way or the other. Well, enjoy.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** Villains. They actively work against the heroes to attain their own goals, which are often malicious. But sometimes, these villains were once heroes, fighting for the side of good, and there might still be some good in them.

**Boomstick:** And sometimes they wear really cool helmets too.

**Wiz:** …really? That's what you're getting from this?

**Boomstick:** Well, I guess they can also control things with their mind.

**Wiz:** *heavy sigh* Darth Vader, also known as Anakin Skywalker, cyborg Sith-Lord from Star Wars.

**Boomstick:** And Magneto, leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants and main enemy of the X-Men. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a prophecy.

**Boomstick:** And it was vague and talked about how good would conquer evil, right?

**Wiz:** Actually, this one talked about how the Light and Dark Sides of the Force would be brought into balance by a single Jedi. Years went by, and no-one found who this prophecy would relate to.

**Boomstick:** Until, by an extraordinary chance, two Jedi masters, fleeing a planet in the middle of a war, landed on the desert planet Tattooine, and found a nine year old kid who could use The Force.

**Wiz:** Well, technically, he just had a really high midi-chlorian which could be used to help train him in the ways of The Force, but yeah, basically that.

**Boomstick:** Young Anakin Skywalker loved only two things: pod racing, and hitting on Natalie Portman, both of which I can absolutely support.

**Wiz:** Because of the promise he showed in potentially bringing balance to The Force, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi brought the child before the Jedi Council to see what they thought.

**Boomstick:** But Yoda said "nah, I think he'll become evil", and Qui-Gon was like "nah, he's cool. Look, I'll train him." Then he died. So Obi-Wan took over his training.

**Wiz:** And his training went pretty well, though young Anakin was often pretty reckless. Unfortunately, Emperor Palpatine had other plans for the young Jedi, eventually recruiting him as his apprentice and naming him Darth Vader.

**Boomstick:** A title he held for, like, two days before Obi-Wan cut off his left arm and both legs and left him to die on a lava planet. Damn dude, are we sure Vader's the bad guy here?

**Wiz:** I mean, he did order the destruction of Alderaan, so he's definitely not all good.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, guess that kind of sucked. But he also got a kick-ass suit. Unfortunately it sounds like he's having a permanent asthma attack, but damn, he looks like a badass.

**Wiz:** Well, with extensive control of The Force, a red lightsabre capable of cutting through most material, and a durable suit of armour to protect his body, he kind of is.

**Boomstick:** Lightsabres, for the three people who haven't seen Star Wars before, are basically laser swords that cut through almost any material that isn't another lightsabre.

**Wiz:** In fact, there are only about four other substances resistant to a lightsabre's blade, all of which are unique to the Star Wars universe, so they're not important to this battle.

**Boomstick:** The Force also gives Vader some pretty awesome power. Though he mostly uses it to choke people he doesn't like…and his pregnant wife…oh, maybe he is the villain.

**Wiz:** The exact extent of Vader's control of The Force isn't known, but as Yoda states before lifting Luke's X-Wing, "size matters not." This makes it sound like there's almost no limit to what can be accomplished with The Force, as long as you can focus enough energy to do it.

**Boomstick:** Hey, if you're capable of strangling someone without being in the same room as them, you're doing something right.

**Wiz:** And finally, we come to his suit. Thick enough to deflect lightsabre blows, strong enough to lift heavy objects without The Force, and agile enough to allow Vader to jump high in the air, although that last one might just be him in space.

**Boomstick:** Unfortunately, that suit's also the only thing keeping him alive, ever since the whole "burned in lava" incident.

**Wiz:** It's also extremely heavy, which can limit Vader's movement, slowing him a bit. Luckily, Vader has had years of experience using this suit, and has modified his fighting style to suit it perfectly.

**Boomstick:** But he can't let any of it be removed, because that could be fatal.

**Wiz:** Hell, the whole suit is vulnerable to electronic overload. Luckily he makes up for this with The Force, which he can use to sustain himself for a few hours if the situation gets really bad.

**Boomstick:** Absolutely, considering Leia was able to use The Force to survive an explosion that left her floating in space for quite a while, and she then pulled herself over to the door of the ship she was on and let herself in. And considering that she hardly ever uses The Force, it can be assumed this isn't that advanced of a technique.

**Wiz:** Considering that it left her in a coma though, it's also likely that it's very dangerous and power-consuming.

**Boomstick:** Still, I wouldn't want to mess with the six foot dude in dark armour wielding a laser sword and has psychic powers.

**Vader:** There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Erik Magnus Lehnsherr was born in Germany in 1930 to a Jewish family…

**Boomstick:** But, because of the words "Germany", "Jewish", and "1930", you know exactly where this story's going.

**Wiz:** Forcibly removed from his parents in Auschwitz in 1944, Erik tried desperately to cling on to his mother, only to accidentally pull the nearby gates towards him.

**Boomstick:** Damn, that's some grip.

**Wiz:** Especially since he wasn't even touching the gate at the time. For, you see, Erik wasn't just a regular kid, he was a mutant.

**Boomstick:** Shouldn't he have like two heads and eight fingers on each hand then?

**Wiz:** Actually, according the Marvel, mutants just get superpowers.

**Boomstick:** That's cool too I guess. So, what could a mutant named Magneto possibly have as a power?

**Wiz:** He controls metal.

**Boomstick:** Wow, who'd have thought it?

**Wiz:** Specifically, he controls magnetic fields, which he can use to control metal, including changing its form to something more useful to him, or just straight up attacking people with it.

**Boomstick:** Everyone's in trouble when you can hurl a block of metal at someone at a thousand miles an hours.

**Wiz:** He can even sense when metal is nearby, so he always knows when he has a weapon handy.

**Boomstick:** And he can fly. Kind of.

**Wiz:** It's more like he glides on magnetic fields he creates. Or by having metal nearby and controlling it in such a way that it seems like he's flying.

**Boomstick:** So, what did he do after trying to save his mother?

**Wiz:** Well, a Nazi officer wanted to recruit him for their own uses…

**Boomstick:** Uh oh…

**Wiz:** But because he didn't know how his powers worked at the time, they killed his mother in front of him, angering him so much that he destroyed a lab and killed two Nazis.

**Boomstick:** And the guy who killed his mother?

**Wiz:** About seventeen years later.

**Boomstick:** What was the freaking hold up? He had plenty of time to do it.

**Wiz:** Who knows? Anyway, before he could kill his mother's murderer, he met Charles Xavier and helped him recruit and train other mutants, and letting go of his hatred of humans…before deciding that killing humans was better because they tend to hate mutants.

**Boomstick:** Let's be honest though, Magneto's pretty freaking powerful. Remember when he lifted the Golden Gate Bridge?

**Wiz:** Actually, that timeline is no longer canon.

**Boomstick:** Oh…remember that time he surrounded the White House with the RFK Stadium?

**Wiz:** However, his magnetic powers are directly linked to his body's physical condition and concentration. If Magneto is in physical pain or can't concentrate, he can't use his powers.

**Boomstick:** Also, if it's not metal, he can't do shit to it. Which is why whenever he's arrested they trap him in plastic and glass cells.

**Wiz:** Still, Magneto's metal sensing is extremely acute. Once, Mystique injected a guard with some iron, and Magneto was able to rip that iron out of the guy's bloodstream.

**Boomstick:** Isn't that in the other timeline?

**Wiz:** …shut up. Then again, in Apocalypse, Magneto was made so powerful he could control the Earth's magnetic poles.

**Boomstick:** Anyone using a compass was VERY confused that day.

**Wiz:** And he also gained a magnetic shield that couldn't be penetrated. Although it's unclear whether these powers are permanent, or just because of Apocalypse's influence.

**Boomstick:** Still, in any case, Magneto's a powerhouse of a mutant you don't want to mess with.

**Magneto:** You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is different, but I am here to tell you, to tell the world, you're right to fear us. We are the future. We are the ones who inherit this earth and anyone who stands in our way, will suffer the same fate as these men you see before you.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

_Scene cuts._

The Death Star is floating through space, going towards Earth. "There it is," said Darth Vader, watching the approach through a window. "This puny, primitive looking planet is the location of some powerful individuals. The location of many potential allies in our mission to control the galaxy." Vader turned towards a nearby Stormtrooper. "Prepare my transport."

"Yes Lord Vader," said the Stormtrooper, leaving the room.

A few minutes later, Vader's Lambda shuttle was landing on Earth, with a guard of Stormtroopers marching before him. "Now, we shall begin exploring this planet for its dominate species. Remember, we do not want to engage in combat unless necessary."

"Yes sir," said the Stormtroopers, all starting off to begin exploring…

…only for their ships to suddenly start dismantling themselves, and the metal from the ships crushing the Stormtroopers against the trees.

"Dominate species, you say?" asked Magneto, floating down in front of Vader. "Then look no further than a mutant. And who better than one of the most powerful?"

"I see…" said Vader, somewhat miffed at the easy defeat of his troops, but prepared to ignore this. "Well, the Galactic Empire is looking for men of your talents. Together, you can rule over the universe with us."

"Men?" spat Magneto. "Men are far beneath me. And besides, I rule alone, not alongside faceless men in armour."

"Suit yourself," said Vader, grabbing his lightsabre. "Don't say I didn't give you a good offer."

**FIGHT!**

Magneto tried to use his powers to crush Vader's suit, before realising it was made mostly of a plastic-like material. As such, he was only just in time to dodge out of the way of Vader's lightsabre swing. "An interesting sword you have there," said Magneto, sensing the metal in it. "Mind if I have a look?" Before Vader could say anything, Magneto snatched the lightsabre out of his hand with his powers. But before it reached Magneto's hand, it stopped in the middle of the air.

"I believe that belongs to me," said Vader, hand outstretched towards the lightsabre. The two of them fought over the weapon for a few more seconds, before Vader threw the weapon to the side. "You know nothing of the power of The Force," Vader said, holding his hand in front of him in a choking motion.

Magneto suddenly felt as though there was a hand around his throat. "What…is this?" he gasped, trying to figure out a way to release himself from this grip. Magneto then sensed some metal alloys within Vader's suit. "They'll have to do," he muttered to himself, moving his hand to the side. Suddenly, Vader stumbled to the side, releasing Magneto but managing to stay on his feet.

"I see you're strong with the Force too," said Vader, regaining his balance.

"Magnetic force, yes," said Magneto, throwing his hands forward at Vader. Vader flew backwards, crashing through several trees. Sparks began popping out of his suit as he stood back up. Vader knew he'd probably lost some important system or another, but there wasn't time or the opportunity to retreat to figure out which one(s). For now, he had to focus on taking out this mutant fellow.

"Magnetic, huh?" asked Vader, lifting the logs of the trees he'd just crashed through. "Let's see how you go against these then." Vader launched the two huge tree trunks at Magneto, certain he had no way to defend himself.

Magneto quickly grabbed some of the wreckage from Vader's ships, and used it to shield his body from the attack. Unfortunately he still took some of the impact from the projectiles, but not as much as he would have. Magneto started getting up to look at how much damage the attack had done to his shield, only to see a flash of red fly through them. Vader had used the attack as a distraction to regain his lightsabre.

"This is where it ends," said Vader, raising his lightsabre above his head.

"Indeed it is," said Magneto, concentrating on the cybernetics in Vader's right arm. "Give me that." Magneto pulled hard, and removed Vader's right arm (still holding the lightsabre) off of his body.

"WHAT?!" yelled Vader, raising his hand to reach for the lightsabre, as he felt a huge amount of pressure around his head.

"I told you, I control magnetic fields," said Magneto. "Like, say, that metal in your helmet." Vader's helmet crumpled, causing Vader to scream in pain. "This is why you should never underestimate a mutant." Magneto took the lightsabre out of Vader's severed hand, and decapitated the Sith Lord with it. "Such a waste of a potential ally."

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Damn, Vader does not have much luck fighting Marvel characters, does he?

**Wiz:** No he doesn't. Unfortunately, the odds were very much against him from the start.

**Boomstick:** Vader's armour is made mostly of plastoid, which is essentially a plastic alloy. Unfortunately, the key word here is mostly.

**Wiz:** Vader's suit is more designed for keeping him alive, and to intimidate foes, and while metal is surprisingly underused in the making of the suit, it is still used. Especially in his helmet and life support systems.

**Boomstick:** And what's Magneto famous for? Controlling metal. ALL metal.

**Wiz:** Still, Vader wasn't entirely outclassed. His skill with The Force meant that he could keep Magneto at a distance, and even attack him with anything non-metal. Unfortunately, for as long as Magneto has access to metal to use, he had the upper hand in the battle.

**Boomstick:** Magneto just made Darth Vader an ex-man.

**Wiz:** The winner is Magneto.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle!

"One, two, [NAME]'s coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, gonna stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again."

"They float. Down here we all float; pretty soon your friend will float, too."


	9. Freddy Krueger vs Pennywise

Episode 9: Freddy Krueger vs Pennywise

**Author's note: A Nightmare on Elm Street and It spoilers. Specifically, the original film series for the former, the remake for the latter, though I may make references to the book. You know how these things go. Alright, let's do this.**

_Death Battle theme plays._

**Wiz:** Fear. A powerful emotion that can control you. Do you stand and fight, or run and hide from it?

**Boomstick:** Well, I'd probably just shoot them with my shotgun leg, but not everyone is blessed with one of those. Though if our research is anything to go by, that might not work on these guys.

**Wiz:** Freddy Krueger, the dream haunting serial killer from A Nightmare on Elm Street.

**Boomstick:** And Pennywise, the spooky clown guy from It. I always knew clowns were evil. Anyway, he's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** In Springwood, Ohio, back in 1942, a nun named Amanda Krueger was working at the Hathaway House, when disaster struck.

**Boomstick:** DISASTER?! More like catastrophe! Poor Amanda was beaten and raped by a hundred or so inmates, just because the guards wanted to go home for Christmas.

**Wiz:** …yeah, it's pretty messed up. Anyway, nine months later, Amanda gave birth to a boy she named Freddy.

**Boomstick:** Or as some people call him, the Bastard Son of a Hundred Maniacs. Man, with a title like that, no wonder he kills people.

**Wiz:** He was then adopted by a man named Mr. Underwood, who verbally and physically abused Freddy…until Freddy got sick of it and slit his throat with a razor.

**Boomstick:** And like any good serial killer to be, he was bullied at school for being a bastard child. Seriously people, this is why America has so many school shootings. STOP BEING ASSHOLES YOU ASSHOLES!

**Wiz:** …okay then. Anyway, apparently Freddy tried to put all this behind him and live a normal life, even getting married and having a child. Unfortunately, his thirst for vengeance was too much for him, and he decided to start killing the children of the people he went to high school with, instead of the far more rationale 'killing the people who actually tortured you' thing.

**Boomstick:** Neither of those sounds very rationale…wait, is this why your ten year high school reunion was cancelled?

**Wiz:** …moving on. Anyway, eventually his wife figured out what he was up to, so he killed her, not realising his daughter was watching. Luckily, he was soon arrested for the murders of twenty children.

**Boomstick:** Before some IDIOT screwed up the paperwork, and Freddy was released. Good thing the townsfolk didn't take too kindly to that, and burned him alive, killing him.

**Wiz:** Except…

**Boomstick:** Oh, come the hell on.

**Wiz:** A group of Dream Demons approached him, giving Freddy the ability to kill people in their dreams, as long as there was enough fear to use as a power source.

**Boomstick:** And if one of his victims did manage to kill him, they would just bring him back again to keep doing what he was doing. Wait, doesn't that mean he can't be killed?

**Wiz:** He has been killed before, but we'll get to that in a moment. First, his powers.

**Boomstick:** Well, first of all, there's his iconic finger claws. Damn those things look cool, but he usually just uses them to freak his victims out before he kills them. Which seems very ineffectual for a serial killer. Wouldn't you want to keep your victims in the dark about being nearby?

**Wiz:** Like I said before, a lot of his power comes from fear, so it makes sense that he'd want to scare his victims as much as possible, since once he kills them, there will be one less person to fear him. That excess fear is what keeps him fuelled until he takes his next victim.

**Boomstick:** Oh…well, they can also stab things, so there's that.

**Wiz:** While this may be his primary method of killing his victims, it's by no means his only way. Inside the dream world, Freddy has the ability to manipulate everything, and can customise people's deaths to their personalities and fears.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, like when he became a TV and smashed a girl who wanted to be an actress through the screen. Or when he injected a former junkie with shitloads of heroin. And he's pretty damn durable in the dream world too.

**Wiz:** Durable is putting it pretty lightly. He's damn near invulnerable. He even once cut off two of his fingers without flinching, just to prove that nothing phases him. And they came back in the very next shot. Not to mention ripping off skin and contorting his body in weird ways.

**Boomstick:** So, like I asked earlier, what the hell can kill him?

**Wiz:** Well, it is possible to pull him out of the dream world, which limits his power greatly, though he does retain some of them. Once out of the dream world though, he is susceptible to explosions and decapitation.

**Boomstick:** Also, he's afraid of fire, which makes sense, since he was, you know, burned to death.

**Wiz:** There's also the dream demons, who can take away his power at any time if Freddy does something they don't approve of, though given that he wants what they want, this is pretty unlikely.

**Boomstick:** Finally, there's reflections, which make him remember what he's does to other people. Kinda weird when he can jump out of mirrors at people, but whatever.

**Wiz:** Still, Freddy's proven time and time again that he's one nightmare you'll want to wake up from quickly.

**Freddy:** Welcome to prime time, bitch.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** The town of Derry in Maine may seem like a small town where nothing out of the ordinary happens.

**Boomstick:** But you'd be wrong, because unbeknownst to the citizens of the town, there's a clown living in the sewers.

**Wiz:** Well, yes, but actually no.

**Boomstick:** Oh, then what's this then? Some kind of ancient evil alien from another dimension?

**Wiz:** …well, you see…

**Boomstick:** You have GOT to be kidding me.

**Wiz:** Born possibly billions of years ago, the creature known as It landed on Earth in the area of Derry, where It did…who knows what, until humans started settling in America, which It started terrorising and eating.

**Boomstick:** And how long ago was that?

**Wiz:** There's evidence to suggest humans have been in America for about 130,000 years…

**Boomstick:** That's quite the wait. I mean, I'm no numberologist, but even I know there's a huge difference between a few billion, and a hundred thousand. And if It needs to eat, what was It doing before then? Patiently waiting for people thinking 'I sure do hope those monkeys evolve into humans soon. I'm starving'?

**Wiz:** A lot of Pennywise's early history is very unclear, since It is an ancient being with little to no concept of time and reason. In fact, Pennywise is likely not It's real name, It just likes taking that form.

**Boomstick:** I'm sure the native Americans and early settlers would have been very confused by the sight of a clown in 1950's era clothes and make-up.

**Wiz:** It probably didn't look like that the whole time, given that one of Its powers is shapeshifting.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, whatever. So, how does no-one know about It, given that It keeps killing people?

**Wiz:** Two reasons: first, Pennywise often hibernates for twenty-five to thirty years at a time…

**Boomstick:** Like Beerus? Man, what is it with ancient beings being obsessed with sleeping all the time?

**Wiz:** …and the other reason is that Pennywise uses Its influence over people to prevent adults from looking into it too much.

**Boomstick:** Specifically adults?

**Wiz:** Well, you see, Pennywise has this thing about eating children…

**Boomstick:** WHAT THE HELL?!

**Wiz:** It's because 'frightened flesh tastes better', and children are easier to scare, so…that's the logic behind it.

**Boomstick:** Doesn't stop it being just plain sick.

**Wiz:** No it doesn't. And unfortunately, young children are much more easy to manipulate, so Pennywise has got a healthy supply of food to sustain It.

**Boomstick:** Okay, what kills this thing? I want to say hopefully Freddy, but I'm not sure I want either child killer to win.

**Wiz:** Well, as of right now, it's unknown if Pennywise has ever been killed, according to the original book. However, It often underestimates humans, believing them to be so far beneath It that It will always win. This has led to Its victims often escaping, or even critically wounding It.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, like when the Losers Club believed they could hurt Pennywise with silver, so it did. Yeah, that happened. They decided something would work against an eldritch abomination, and it worked.

**Wiz:** But perhaps Pennywise's biggest weakness is fear, or more accurately, lack thereof. If there's no-one around who fears It, Pennywise can't do anything to them.

**Boomstick:** But considering Pennywise can figure out what you fear and transform into it, or at least create an illusion of it, that usually does the trick.

**Wiz:** Pennywise is incredibly durable and sneaky, and prepared to take on anyone foolish enough to try and kill It.

**Boomstick:** And is definitely the reason many people will be scared of clowns for years to come.

**Pennywise:** I'll take him! I'll take all of you! I'll feast on your flesh as I feed on your fear... Or... you'll just leave us be... I will take him. Only him, and I will have my long rest and you will all live to grow and thrive and lead happy lives, until old age takes you back to the weeds.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

An abandoned factory in New York, halfway between Maine and Ohio, sits quietly in the slowly setting sun. Inside the factory, something's moving, until a man in a striped sweater and beaten up hat jumps out.

"Back in the real world, then?" asked Freddy, clicking his knife glove against a nearby metal pole. "Well, let's see who's available." Freddy focused his senses for a victim, before sensing something. "What is that?" he questioned. "It seems to be…down in the sewers. It isn't human, but somehow it seems…familiar." Freddy looked around for a moment, before finding the opening to a sewer grate, and climbing down.

Freddy crept through the dark tunnels until he found…something. It looked like a sleeping clown, but why would a clown be in the sewers? "Well, fear's fear," said Freddy, shrugging his shoulders. "Let's see who gets the last laugh." Freddy focused on the creature, and soon entered Its dreams.

Meanwhile, Pennywise was having a good dream. He'd cornered the Losers, and was slowly skinning the one known as Ben in front of his friends. "Oh, you are just delicious," said Pennywise. "I do hope I'll have room for the rest of you after this."

"Hey, funny man, leave those kids alone," said a voice behind him. Pennywise stopped what It was doing, and turned around to see a horrifically burned man with claws on his fingers.

"What the hell?" asked Pennywise, confused. "What are you doing in my dream?"

"Looking for fresh victims," said Freddy. "Looks like I found one."

**FIGHT!**

Freddy calmly walked towards Pennywise, slowly distorting the world around him from sewers to a boiler room. As he walked, Freddy dragged his claws across any metal surfaces he came near.

Pennywise was unmoved by this, and even started to smile. To prove how little this fazed It, Pennywise began running at Freddy, opening Its mouth wide to show the sharp teeth within it. Freddy noticed this, and decided to pick up the pace, holding his claws in front of him to show he meant business.

The two collided on the walkway, Pennywise landing on top of Freddy and preparing to bite Freddy's face off. Freddy laughed as the clown's teeth got nearer and nearer, and even continued as they sunk into his flesh and began tearing away the skin.

Pennywise spat the burned flesh out of its mouth, and it landed a few feet away, still laughing. "What the hell are you?" growled the clown.

"Your worst nightmare," said Freddy's face, as Freddy slashed the front of Pennywise's shirt and ripped open Its chest.

"Shit," said Pennywise, climbing off Freddy. "That actually hurt."

"Good," said Freddy, his face suddenly on his head again and making another charge at the clown. Pennywise responded by again running at Freddy, but this time keeping low until it tackled Freddy to the ground. Freddy began laughing again as Pennywise began kicking him in the ribs. "I knew you could make me laugh."

"Why aren't you dying?" snarled Pennywise, kicking Freddy hard enough that his foot went through Freddy's chest.

"Oh, you think you can kill me in a dream?" taunted Freddy, slashing through Pennywise's legs. "You really are a joker."

"Dream, eh?" asked Pennywise. "Let's try something then." Freddy's eyes grew wide as Pennywise wrapped Freddy in a headlock, then pinched himself.

Pennywise awoke with a start, and looked around for the man It'd just been wrestling. Suddenly, Freddy jumped out from behind It, landing on Its back and proceeding to repeatedly stab Pennywise in the head with his hand claws.

"GET OFF OF ME!" yelled Pennywise, throwing Freddy across to the other side of the tunnel.

Freddy lay there for a moment, dazed. 'What the hell?' he thought to himself. 'This guy wasn't even stunned at having my claws go through his head. This clown isn't normal. I need to figure out what his fear is quickly.' Freddy tried to focus on the clown for a moment, but couldn't get a read on what scared it.

"So, you act on people's fears?" asked Pennywise, looking across at Freddy lying in a heap. "Too bad, I happen to be fear itself. You on the other hand…" Freddy slowly raised himself to his feet, only to find a wall of fire between him and the clown.

Freddy hesitated for a moment, before turning to the spot where he'd last seen his enemy. "HA! You think fire scares me?" laughed Freddy.

"Not much," said Pennywise, suddenly beside him. "But enough." Before Freddy could act, Pennywise bit into the back of Freddy's neck, while holding Freddy's legs down. Pennywise pulled and pulled, until Freddy's lower body separated from his upper half. Freddy screamed in agony, as Pennywise licked its lips, opened its mouth wide, and ate Freddy's head. Pennywise burped upon finishing its meal, before going back to sleep.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Wow, that was brutal. But is Freddy really dead?

**Wiz:** Maybe. Wes Craven keeps finding ways to bring him back, so it's possible. But for the purposes of this battle, we're going with the one that's most likely to not get back up and keep going any time soon.

**Boomstick:** Both characters basically lived on fear, specifically fear of them, so that cancelled itself out. However, there was one key thing about this that opened the whole battle up: Pennywise will still be powerful if people forget about It, but Freddy can't come back if people don't remember him.

**Wiz:** On top of that, Pennywise retains all Its powers outside of a dream, whereas Freddy loses most of them. The main question here was: could Pennywise be killed in a dream, where Freddy was pretty much unkillable?

**Boomstick:** Well, given that the Losers have stuck spikes through Its head and It kept going like it was nothing, I'd say Pennywise is pretty damn hard to kill. Hell, Stephen King's books even hint that It's still alive and killing kids, even after the Losers "killed" It TWICE!

**Wiz:** In the end, Pennywise's durability and overall near invincibility were too much for Freddy to handle.

**Boomstick:** Freddy just couldn't handle It.

**Wiz:** The winner is Pennywise.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"It's Hero Time!"

"Dude, you actually want to do more stuff? My goal in life is maximum couch time."


	10. Ben Tennyson vs Beast Boy

Episode 10: Ben Tennyson vs Beast Boy

**Author's note: Ben 10 and Teen Titans spoilers coming. And by that I mean their original cartoon continuities, none of that reboot shit.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** During the mid-2000s, Cartoon Network had a vast array of popular shows. But two featured young heroes with the ability to shapeshift.

**Boomstick:** And coincidentally, they were both green. Any reason for that, or just a coincidence?

**Wiz:** Probably a coincidence.

**Boomstick:** Ben Tennyson, the wearer of the Omnitrix from Ben 10.

**Wiz:** And Beast Boy, the animalistic hero from the Teen Titans.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Ben Tennyson was an average kid…

**Boomstick:** That no-one understa…

**Wiz:** Not even the right network Boomstick. Anyway, one summer Ben went camping with his grandpa Max and his cousin Gwen…

**Boomstick:** Like we said last time, COUSIN!

**Wiz:** …when a meteor crashed into Earth near where they'd stopped for the night. And when Ben went to investigate, he found a mysterious device that attached itself to his wrist. This device was the Omnitrix.

**Boomstick:** And let me guess: it let him transform into any alien he wanted?

**Wiz:** Well, not at first. You see, when Ben first got the Omnitrix, he was limited to only ten aliens. However, over the years he slowly attained more and more, each with its own abilities, strengths, weaknesses, and so forth.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, I suppose it is a weakness if the first thing you do with a powerful weapon is accidentally burn down a forest.

**Wiz:** He got better at controlling that when he got older. But Heatblast was far from his only alien. Even among his original set, Ben's choices were pretty diverse.

**Boomstick:** Heatblast obviously has fire powers, Four Arms is super strong, XLR8 is super-fast, Diamondhead has super hard skin and can cut through most things, and Stinkfly can…fly. And stink. Unfortunately, he could only use one alien at a time, and the Omnitrix had a cooldown time.

**Wiz:** Until it didn't.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, then he gained a bunch of new aliens, with some really crazy super powers.

**Wiz:** Over a million, to be exact. Though we only see a few dozen of them.

**Boomstick:** Well, when those few dozen contain all his most powerful and versatile transformations, I think we can ignore that. As well as some of the really bad ones, like The Worst. No, really, he has one named The Worst.

**Wiz:** In The Worst's defence, it is completely indestructible. Unfortunately, it still feels pain, so…yeah, it's probably his worst option. After Walkatrout.

**Boomstick:** But enough about his stupid forms. He's got plenty of much cooler ones, like Way Big, who is super tall and strong, and can fire a powerful laser out of his chest.

**Wiz:** Big Chill uses ice powers to freeze enemies or the surrounding area, in case you couldn't figure it out from the name, Ditto can create multiple copies of itself, and Buzzshock can control electricity.

**Boomstick:** Or he can go with an all-out ridiculous transformation like Mole-Stache, a mole that pulls a Chuck Norris and punches people with itself moustache. Glorious.

**Wiz:** No, Chuck's fist is behind his beard, though I wouldn't be surprised if Ben had an alien that could do that too.

**Boomstick:** But there is one alien, one special alien, that puts all other aliens to shame.

**Wiz:** Alien X, whom we have already covered a few episodes back.

**Boomstick:** Oh yeah, when he lost to Arceus…oh, uh, spoilers. But since Alien X is so awesome, let's cover the basics again.

**Wiz:** Alien X is practically omnipotent, capable of surviving literal universe ending events. Yeah, this guy tanked the end of the universe, then rebuilt everything from scratch…except the grape flavour at Ben's favourite smoothie place.

**Boomstick:** That still really bugs me. I mean, Alien X rebuilds literally EVERYTHING in the universe, including things he should have no reasonable way of knowing about, but a god damn SMOOTHIE is what stumps him?

**Wiz:** It's a pretty minor weakness to have really. In fact, in terms of weaknesses, Ben's are pretty limited to exploit.

**Boomstick:** You know, other than being a somewhat immature sixteen year old with a super powerful weapon on his arm. Which protects its wearer from any life-threatening injury.

**Wiz:** Life-threatening being the key word there. His arm being removed, while painful, is not life-threatening. On top of that, if put in such a position where Ben will die, the Omnitrix will simply force him into whatever alien is the most likely to survive the situation.

**Boomstick:** Probably Alien X.

**Wiz:** Yeah, probably.

**Boomstick:** Still, if you need a hero, you can count on Ben Tennyson to come to the rescue.

**Ben:** Ha! Sounds like just the kind o' thing the world's most powerful ten-year-old boy should have.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Mark and Marie Logan were two scientists, studying animals in jungles all across the world, and taking their son Garfield with them wherever they went.

**Boomstick:** Unfortunately, little Gar was bitten by a weird monkey and ended up getting pretty sick. You'd think a couple of scientists would keep their kid up to date with his tetanus shots.

**Wiz:** He actually didn't get tetanus, he got Sakutia, a disease that just so happens to rewrite the victim's genetic code. And is also kind of lethal.

**Boomstick:** Good thing his parents were scientists, otherwise they'd have never been able to make a cure in time.

**Wiz:** Why a couple of zoologists were able to make a serum to save their son instead of contacting a virologist is beyond me.

**Boomstick:** They're scientists, and as everyone knows, all scientists can do any type of science they need to.

**Wiz:** Well anyway, the serum had one pretty major problem: it ended up turning Garfield's hair and skin green, and left him with the power to shapeshift into any animal he wanted. Which is why they should have gone to a virologist.

**Boomstick:** But science Wiz. All science is nerd shit, therefore…

**Wiz:** No, that's not how it works. Anyway, luckily for Garfield, his parents were the 'kind and loving' type, not the 'let's shove our kid in a cage to be experimented on' kind…

**Boomstick:** So of course, they had to be killed.

**Wiz:** Garfield decided he'd become a superhero, and even joined the Doom Patrol for a little while…

**Boomstick:** But Mento was a dick, so he joined the Teen Titans.

**Wiz:** As a member of the team, Beast Boy has a habit of being a carefree jokester, but knows when it's time to get serious.

**Boomstick:** Well, yeah, he has the power to transform into any animal he wants. Hey, do you think he's ever transformed into a bug, crept into one of the girl's rooms, and…

**Wiz:** BOOMSTICK! …actually, he's a teenager, so…Ugh, shouldn't even be thinking about that. Anyway, Beast Boy's main power is to turn into animals. And it can be any animal he has firsthand knowledge of.

**Boomstick:** And he has plenty to choose from, and even has a few he prefers for certain situations. He'll become a hawk or an eagle for flying at high speeds, a gorilla or a bear for hand-to-hand combat, a rhino or an elephant for charging through things, or a goddamn t-rex because t-rexes are so goddamn cool.

**Wiz:** And also heavy duty combat.

**Boomstick:** That too I guess.

**Wiz:** For evading opponents, he might choose something smaller like a hummingbird, for protection he can turn into a turtle, for underwater combat he'll turn into a shark, and for restraining an opponent he can become an octopus.

**Boomstick:** And he can transform into aliens. Wait, if he can do that, doesn't he have more transformations than Ben and would therefore win?

**Wiz:** Not necessarily, since Beast Boy didn't know he could do that until he tried it, implying that he needs to know about the creature before he can transform into it. Given that his parents were zoologists, it makes sense for him to know so many Earth animals and what they can do.

**Boomstick:** But there is one form old Beastie can take if he needs an extra bit of speed or strength: his Werebeast form.

**Wiz:** His Werebeast form is pretty formidable, but it comes at the cost of his self-control. In fact, it took the combined efforts of Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire just to make it back down. Not defeat it, just back down.

**Boomstick:** Damn, Beast Boy's got some serious power behind him. How do you stop him?

**Wiz:** Well, TECHNICALLY he's still human…

**Boomstick:** ARE YOU KIDDING?! He's green.

**Wiz:** That's why it's only technically. Beast Boy is still susceptible to anything that would kill a normal human, or if he's in an animal form, anything that would kill that animal.

**Boomstick:** He's also vulnerable to hypnosis, but I don't think Ben has an alien that can hypnotise people, so…wait, does he?

**Wiz:** Actually…

**Boomstick:** Nope, has to come up in the battle. We already finished Ben's summary. On to the battle.

**Beast Boy:** Consider this a warning. As of last night, Mr. Nice Guy has left the building.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

It was a quiet night in Jump City. Beast Boy was flying around the city as an eagle, looking for potential threats. 'Everything seems pretty quiet,' he said, just as something caught his eye. Below him, he saw a teenager in a green jacket wandering through the streets. 'Hmm, could he be up to something?' he asked himself. 'Better stop him before he tries anything.'

Ben was casually walking along the sidewalk when he heard a loud thump above him. "Stop. State your name and business here," said a shape covered in shadows.

"What? Hey man, I'm just passing through," said Ben, standing back a step or two.

"I asked you what your name is," said Beast Boy, landing in front of Ben, allowing a nearby streetlight to reveal his face.

"Green and freaky looking?" asked Ben, playing with the watch on his wrist. "And a little too pushy for my liking. Sorry, but you're not getting the Omnitrix."

"The what?" asked Beast Boy, as Ben slapped his hand down on the alien he wanted and began transforming, growing an extra set of arms and his skin turning red. "What the? You transform? Well, two can play at that game." Beast Boy began running at Four Arms, transforming into an elephant as he went.

"Bring it on, greenie," said Four Arms, also charging forward.

**FIGHT!**

The two of them collided, Four Arms managing to grab Beast Boy's tusks but still getting pushed back a bit, before Four Arms flipped the elephant over his head. As Four Arms was about to start punching his target though, he realised it wasn't there anymore. "What the? Where'd he go?" he asked, looking around frantically.

Suddenly, a green blur zoomed past his face, leaving a sharp stinging as it did. "What was that?" demanded Four Arms, as it came past again. And again. And again. "Stop that," said Four Arms, swatting at the hummingbird that kept pecking at him. "You want speed? I'll show you speed." Four Arms began glowing, and suddenly he became XLR8.

"Come here," said XLR8, running after the tiny bird and easily catching it by the tail feathers. "HA! Gotcha." But almost as soon as he'd grabbed the feathers, they started to feel more like hair. XLR8 looked up to see a horse in front of him. A horse with its two back legs rising into the air. "Uh oh…" said XLR8 as the horse kicked him in the face.

XLR8 flew backwards into a dumpster, and Beast Boy turned back into his human form. "Man, you really aren't that good at this, are you?" he asked. "Better just give up no…" Before he could finish that sentence, there was another flash of light, and suddenly Ben was growing at an alarming rate.

"Oh, I'm just getting warmed up, freak," said Way Big, raising his foot and slamming it into the ground where Beast Boy was. "Eww, I stepped in loser…huh, why does that feel familiar?" Way Big was just shrugging this off as he realised that his foot had never fully hit the ground, and was slowly being pushed up. "What the? What's doing that?" asked Way Big, taking a step back to find…

"No way," said Way Big. "You can turn into a Tetramand too?" But sure enough, below him was a green Tetramand, as opposed to their normal red.

"Aliens count too, buddy," said Beast Boy. "Now, let's see what…" Before he could finish that sentence, Way Big kicked Beast Boy as hard as he could, sending him flying across the city.

"He shoots, he scores," said Way Big, running over to where Beast Boy landed. "You know, I think I'll let Stinkfly finish him off." Way Big started glowing, then changed into Stinkfly, zooming straight to where Beast Boy, now back to normal, lay.

"Now you've done it," growled Beast Boy, no longer in his happy-go-lucky state. "I hate doing this one, but you've left me no choice." Beast Boy started changing again, his hair growing longer, his nails longer, and overall looked and sounded more feral.

"This doesn't bode well for me," said Stinkfly, as Beast Boy finished transforming and leapt straight at him, slashing and tearing at him.

"Get off me," said Stinkfly, stabbing his stinger into the Werebeast's chest. The Werebeast yelped in surprise, and gave Stinkfly enough of a gap to dart away. "Much more of that and he'd break me," he commented. "Time to fix that." Stinkfly began glowing, and suddenly Diamondhead stood in his place.

"Let's go Beastie," said Diamondhead, running back at the Werebeast. The Werebeast leapt into him, and started scratching and clawing at him, to no avail. The Werebeast then started punching and kicking Diamondhead, but again, this had little to no effect, though it did push him back. "You're boring me," said Diamondhead, turning his arm into a sword. "How about I do the same to you?" Before the Werebeast could respond to this, Diamondhead thrust his sword arm forward, right through the Werebeast's chest. The Werebeast howled in surprise and pain, as Diamondhead dragged the arm upwards, through the Werebeast's head, leaving his remains on the ground.

Diamondhead began glowing again, and turned back into Ben, just in time for him to receive a phone call. "Hey Grandpa, what's up?" asked Ben.

"Ben, we need you here now," said Max on the phone. "We've had reports of, and I can't believe I'm reading this, some kind of space llama."

"Eh, we've had weirder," said Ben. "I'll be there soon."

**K . O.**

**Boomstick:** Sure hope he can handle that space llama…oh, wait…

**Wiz:** Yeah, we already know how that plays out.

**Boomstick:** So…how'd this end up this way?

**Wiz:** While it's true that Beast Boy could have turned into any of Ben's aliens, Ben also has the intimate knowledge of each of his aliens, like their strengths and weaknesses, and has enough experience with all of them to know which of his aliens would beat each of the others. And frankly, most of the stronger animals Beast Boy could use weren't going to be much competition to most of Ben's aliens.

**Boomstick:** What about Alien X? I mean, I know we didn't even use it, but what if we had and Beast Boy copied it?

**Wiz:** Like I was saying at the end of Beast Boy's summary, Ben has an alien called Hypnotick, which, as the name suggests, can hypnotise people, something Beast Boy's very susceptible to. And as previously mentioned, Beast Boy doesn't have the same knowledge of the various aliens Ben has, so he would likely not know much about their powers or how to utilise them. In fact, he wasn't even sure he could turn into aliens until he actually tried it. Basically, Beast Boy had a technical edge in versatility, but was outclassed in every other category.

**Boomstick:** Beast Boy was beaten by the Ultimate Alien Force.

**Wiz:** The winner is Ben Tennyson.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"As a girl, I wanted to be just like those heroes in the books... Someone who fought for what was right, and protected people who couldn't protect themselves!"

"Humans need fear to survive, we experience it so we can become stronger."


	11. Ruby Rose vs Maka Albarn

Episode 11: Ruby Rose vs Maka Albarn

**Author's note: Spoilers of RWBY (again) and Soul Eater (for the first time) coming up.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** For years, scythes were used for agricultural purposes, especially in cutting down crops and long grass.

**Boomstick:** But then somewhere along the line, someone realised that they also work pretty at slicing people in half. Might have something to do with that skeleton dude in the cloak.

**Wiz:** Ruby Rose, silver-eyed huntress and leader of Team RWBY.

**Boomstick:** And Maka Albarn, scythe meister from Soul Eater. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** By this point you're probably sick of us saying it, but the World of Remnant is pretty damn crazy.

**Boomstick:** Well, when horrifying shadow monsters called Grimm lurk just outside the kingdom's borders, yeah, that's pretty damn crazy.

**Wiz:** Luckily for the people of Remnant, they are protected by people known as Huntsmen and Huntresses, warriors who have been trained in combat to stop the threat of the Grimm.

**Boomstick:** And at Beacon Academy, there was a young girl with a kick-ass weapon who calls herself Ruby Rose.

**Wiz:** Young is right, since she's actually two years younger than most of the other Huntsmen and Huntresses in training, after she helped getting some henchmen in a robbery get arrested.

**Boomstick:** Wow, she stopped a robbery at fifteen? That's pretty…

**Wiz:** She didn't stop the robbery.

**Boomstick:** Oh. Well, at least she tried, which caught the attention of Professor Ozpin, headmaster at Beacon Academy.

**Wiz:** What was especially impressive to him was how well she handled a scythe, and her silver eyes. More on that later.

**Boomstick:** Just like in the show. Anyway, Ozpin was right to be impressed. Ruby's scythe is an incredibly sharp curved blade, capable of slicing off limbs pretty easily. I mean, she doesn't even break a sweat doing it to Beowolves in the Red Trailer. Look at her go.

**Wiz:** That weapon is called Crescent Rose, and it isn't just a scythe, it's also customizable high-impact sniper rifle.

**Boomstick:** Basically it's a gun. A long range gun. And against Grimm, it's pretty much as effective as the scythe.

**Wiz:** Ruby is so incredibly skilled with this weapon that Ozpin even put her in charge of her team at Beacon, coincidentally named RWBY. Or possibly it was something to do with her having silver eyes.

**Boomstick:** Well, she was smart enough to come up with a plan to take out a large Nevermore while still in orientation, and has frequently come up with strategies on the fly based on little more than "this is just crazy enough to work".

**Wiz:** But Ruby's arsenal isn't just limited to her weapon. She's also got her Semblance backing her up.

**Boomstick:** Oh yeah, her superpower, the silver eye thing.

**Wiz:** Actually, that's something else. Ruby's actual Semblance is her speed.

**Boomstick:** Wait, she gets TWO superpowers? How is that fair?

**Wiz:** She's the main protagonist, she gets to have extra powers.

**Boomstick:** Well, it's not like speed is a huge superpower. What, you can go really fast? That's not that impressive.

**Wiz:** You'd think that, but Ruby puts her speed to good use. She can travel fast enough that she creates a slipstream that can carry the entire contents of a school cafeteria to the far end and leave a huge crack in the wall. Heck, she's so fast it looks like she leaves rose petals where she was. It's almost like teleportation.

**Boomstick:** Guess speed like that would be pretty useful if my ex-wife turns up. So, about those silver eyes…

**Wiz:** Ah, yes, Ruby's other major ability. Though on the surface, it unfortunately isn't as useful as it sounds.

**Boomstick:** Oh, come on, she managed to freeze that freaking dragon on top of Beacon.

**Wiz:** The dragon, yes, because it's a creature of Grimm. Legend has it that anyone in Remnant born with silver eyes will lead the life of a warrior, and are capable of defeating Grimm with a single look. While Ruby hasn't quite managed that level of power yet, she's certainly getting there, being able to mostly turn a giant Grimm called the Leviathan to stone.

**Boomstick:** So, it's useless for the purposes of this fight?

**Wiz:** Well, since Grimm are creatures bent on destruction and have no soul, I'd say you're right. However, when in use they give off a really bright glow, so it might work as a diversionary tactic to temporarily blind an opponent.

**Boomstick:** So, her extra special ability is practically useless in this fight. Any other major weaknesses for her?

**Wiz:** Well, while she has started being trained in it, Ruby's hand to hand combat skills are severely lacking, so if she's disarmed and can't get her weapon back easily, she's in trouble.

**Boomstick:** Also, she's somewhat immature, though she tends to turn this off in serious fights and takes her opponents seriously. Also, in one of her first fights in the series, her cape got pinned to the ground by a giant feather, so let's all do our best Edna Mode impressions here: NO CAPES!

**Wiz:** And like all characters in RWBY, Ruby has a finite supply of Aura, her mystical shield that allows her to take some pretty devastating hits and still get back up.

**Boomstick:** Good thing Ruby's taken some pretty serious knocks and falls and kept fighting, because that's what a badass she is.

**Ruby:** I don't care what you say! We WILL stop them, and I WILL stop you! BET ON THAT!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Death Weapon Meister Academy is a school specialising training children to fight and use demon weapons, in order to prevent another kinshin uprising.

**Boomstick:** What the hell kind of school lets kids handle something called a demon weapon?

**Wiz:** To be fair, these weapons are also children.

**Boomstick:** WHAT?! Now the military is using children as weapons?

**Wiz:** No, as in the children are literally weapons. They can change into various weapons including swords, guns, shuriken, and as we'll be focusing on in this battle, scythes.

**Boomstick:** So…this battle's going to be two against one?

**Wiz:** Indeed it will be.

**Boomstick:** Man, that's the second time we've outnumbered a RWBY character.

**Wiz:** I guess it is. Wanna see what happens?

**Boomstick:** Absolutely.

**Wiz:** Cool. Anyway, two of the school's current students are Maka Albarn, and Soul Evans, weapon meister and demon weapon respectively.

**Boomstick:** After seeing dear old dad with another woman, Maka decided she wanted to be more like her mother, which is to say, a weapon meister.

**Wiz:** Meanwhile, Soul was born into a family of musicians, then discovered he was a weapon, so he joined the academy. And…that's it? Really?

**Boomstick:** Who cares? Let's get into the cool shit.

**Wiz:** I suppose we should do that. Anyway, Maka and Soul were paired up, and despite their conflicting personalities, actually work pretty effectively as a team. Despite her athleticism, Maka prefers hard work and study over games and physical activity.

**Boomstick:** NERD!

**Wiz:** On the other hand, Soul is pretty laid-back and even lazy, trying to give off the appearance of a cool guy.

**Boomstick:** Man, I like this guy.

**Wiz:** Maka decided she wanted to create a death scythe, a task that requires a meister to reap ninety nine evil human souls, and one witch soul.

**Boomstick:** Does Soul get a say in this?

**Wiz:** I don't think he's the sort of person to really care either way.

**Boomstick:** Fair enough. So, how'd that go for them?

**Wiz:** Of course they did it. Anyway…

**Boomstick:** *laughing* You said they did it.

**Wiz:** ANYWAY, other than just being good fighters, Maka also has the power of Soul Perception, which allows her to sense other souls, and even learn about the other person in terms of what they're capable of.

**Boomstick:** She's also got an Anti-Demon Wavelength, which keeps her immune to attacks from things like witches, immortals, and, uh, demons.

**Wiz:** Maka's also reasonably skilled at hand-to-hand combat, holding her own against far stronger opponents.

**Boomstick:** And she can freaking fly, thanks to some guy named Gregory.

**Wiz:** That's Grigori, an incredibly rare soul-type that only appears in one person out of about fifty million. However, she can only use this ability in her weapon form by having the same Soul Resonance as her partner.

**Boomstick:** Wait, weapon form? Does that mean SHE'S a weapon too?

**Wiz:** Yes, Maka's also a weapon, though she tends to just use Soul as a weapon rather than become one herself. Speaking of which, Soul can transform any part of his body into a weapon, so he's not always stuck as a scythe in battle.

**Boomstick:** Must be really useful having a weapon that can turn itself into a human and run back to you whenever you're disarmed.

**Wiz:** But Maka does have one trump card that, if push comes to shove, she can pull out for devastating damage. This is the Black Blood.

**Boomstick:** Black Blood is basically blood that, once activated, can heal wounds, and grants the user extra speed, strength, durability, and basically make the user near invulnerable. So with such a cool power, there must be a pretty serious drawback.

**Wiz:** You mean other than turning the user mad, making them unpredictable, erractic, and dangerous?

**Boomstick:** Yeah, that.

**Wiz:** Yeah, there's a reason Maka doesn't like using this power. It comes at too great a cost, and is only used as a last resort. Also, the Black Blood is heavily affected by Soul Wavelength attacks, which often render the Black Blood inactive.

**Boomstick:** So, as a kick-ass soul-hunter, what exactly is Maka's weakness?

**Wiz:** Well, without Soul around, she feels completely useless, and is nowhere near as powerful. This is primarily because of their Soul Resonance working so well off each other.

**Boomstick:** And that weapon state she can get into? Only when she's unconscious, so not much help in a freaking fight to the death. Oh, and she's basically human.

**Wiz:** Still, Maka's proved time and again that she will not hesitate to fight until the end.

**Maka:** If you do continue to fight me, then I'll take your soul. You got it?

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

Maka leapt from one building to another, keep at a dead sprint. "I hope we're not too late," she said, jumping another gap. "The reports said this Cinder woman knows the location of a very powerful witch."

"I guess we'll find out soon," said Soul, currently in scythe form and being carried by Maka. "I heard she's pretty dangerous herself though."

"You're not scared, are you?" asked Maka teasingly.

"Pfft, as if," said Soul. "It's just that…" Whatever Soul was about to say was cut off as Maka collided into the back of a girl about her age wearing a red cape, a black dress, and black and red combat boots.

"Hey, move it, we're in the middle of a mission," snapped Maka, getting back to her feet.

"Oh, hey, so am I," said Ruby. "I'm looking for this dangerous woman named Cinder. You haven't seen her, have you? Red dress, one good eye, uses glass as a weapon…" Before Ruby could continue, Maka was pointing Soul at her in an accusatory fashion. "Uh, what's going on?"

"You're after the reward too," said Maka, preparing to attack. "I can't allow that."

"What? No," said Ruby. "I want to kill her because of what she's done to my friends. I swear."

"Maka, what do you make of her?" asked Soul.

"She's strong," said Maka. "And fast. We can't take her lightly."

"But we can take her, right?" asked Soul.

"Of course we can," said Maka, swinging at Ruby.

Ruby responded by quickly moving behind her. "Guess I have no choice now," she said, pulling out Crescent Rose in its gun form.

**FIGHT!**

Ruby started firing off shots at Maka, who managed to block them with Soul's blade. Ruby tried keeping behind Maka using her speed, and it mostly worked at keeping Maka on the defensive.

"We need to get away from her, try and get on her blind side," said Soul. "As much as I like taking bullets for you, they do hurt after a while."

"Got it," said Maka, swinging her scythe at Ruby to try and trip her up, before backflipping off the roof of the building.

Ruby noticed this, and sped down to the ground right as Maka landed. "You can't outrun me that easily," said Ruby, switching her weapon to its scythe form and charging at her.

"Well shit, she's got a scythe too," said Soul, as Maka used him to block Ruby's attack.

"I can see that," said Maka. "Unless you have something helpful to say, can you shut up?"

"Try and distract her somehow," said Soul. "I wanna try something."

"Something smart?" asked Maka, blocking an attack from Ruby.

"Smart is subjective in this case," said Soul. "Just do it."

"Okay, here goes," said Maka, ducking under Ruby's next swing and jumping up to kick her in the head. Ruby squeaked as she went flying into the side of a wall.

"Now, throw me at her," said Soul. Maka did as he said, aiming to hit Ruby with her weapon. However, Ruby was back on her feet and jumped to the side of it before it could hit her.

"HA! You're throwing away your weapon in frustration now, huh?" asked Ruby.

"I wouldn't say that," said someone behind her, and suddenly the blade of Maka's scythe was against her neck.

"Wha…what?" asked Ruby, seeing Soul behind her, his arm now a scythe blade. "Your weapon's alive?"

"It's really convenient for taking down anyone who gets in our way, like you," said Maka, walking up to her. "But now it's time to end this."

Ruby was panicking, trying to think of a way out of this. She then felt a pressure building up behind her eyes, and tried to think whether this would work or not. Thinking about her dead friends, Ruby let loose with her silver eyes, filling the area with a blinding light.

"What is this?" asked Maka, shielding her eyes. Ruby took this opportunity to kick backwards, knocking Soul off-balance. She also punched him in the face to make sure he wasn't going to suddenly attack her.

Unfortunately for Ruby, he wasn't overly effected by it. Soul brought his scythe arm down to try and cut her, which she managed to block with her weapon. Soul was about to try and swing again, when he realised that the part of the weapon pointing directly at his stomach was the barrel of the gun. Ruby pulled the trigger, and Soul's middle exploded in a cloud of red.

"SOUL!" screamed Maka, seeing her partner fall to the ground.

"Maka…" said Soul, one hand over his wound. "I think we need to use it." Soul turned into his weapon form, and Maka snatched him up quickly.

Maka glared at Ruby, then charged at Ruby in a fury. Ruby swung her scythe at her, hitting her square in the chest…

…only for Maka to keep coming at her as though nothing happened. In fact, the wound that had been there healed almost instantly. "Uh…oh," said Ruby, as Maka punched the huntress in the face. Ruby flew backwards, dropping her weapon in the process. Ruby rolled as she hit the ground, and narrowly avoided another blow from the enraged Maka.

"You know, this Black Blood is known to induce madness," said Maka, eerily calmly. "But when you hurt my partner, I feel I'm entitled to a bit of madness."

"Wait," cried Ruby, backing up. "May…maybe he'll be okay?"

"LIAR!" screamed Maka, swinging at Ruby again. Ruby ducked under her, letting her smash the wall. Maka instead kicked Ruby in the chest, sending her across the ground.

Ruby looked up and saw her weapon, behind where Maka was approaching her from. Ruby backed up a bit, and took a running start at Maka, turning to rose petals as she passed her opponent, and causing a slipstream. Maka felt herself get caught in it, and flew backwards into a wall, while Ruby picked up her weapon and aimed it at Maka.

"Wha…what?" asked Maka, feeling the Black Blood receding from her. "What did you…" Before she could finish, Ruby fired off three shots with her weapon, hitting Maka in her chest, head, and stomach, before Ruby finished the job by slicing the other girl and her weapon in half.

"Well, that was fun," said Ruby, walking away from the carnage of the two dead teens.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Well shit, Ruby's on a kill streak. She just took out two in one swing.

**Wiz:** Yes, it would appear Soul and Maka had the numbers advantage, and Maka is more skilled in hand-to-hand combat. On top of that, her Black Blood gave her a better healing factor, and even made her more dangerous.

**Boomstick:** Then how the hell did Ruby win? This makes it sound it Maka should have taken it.

**Wiz:** Well, while the Black Blood was probably Maka's biggest trump card, it also has a weakness: Soul Wavelength, and attacks that utilise it. Like, say, Ruby using her Semblance, or Aura, which is her soul, offensively. Soul Wavelength attacks will often leave the Black Blood inactive, which gives any opponent an advantage.

**Boomstick:** But how would Ruby know to use this? There's no prep time in these battles.

**Wiz:** Of course she wouldn't know to use this as an attack, but Ruby would use her speed to her advantage any way she felt necessary in order to win a fight, including offensively if necessary. Hell, she used it to help win a food fight, of all things.

**Boomstick:** Plus, Ruby's Aura can protect her through plenty of hard knocks. Roman Torchwick has essentially blasted her in the face with a firework, and she just got back up. She fell down a big hole in a crumbling city, and just got back up. And if nothing else worked, her scythe is also a sniper, a weapon specifically designed for killing enemies from a distance.

**Wiz:** In short, Ruby's superior speed, range, and defence were too much for Maka to handle.

**Boomstick:** Maka's been left Red Like Roses.

**Wiz:** The winner is Ruby Rose.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"The Mirror of Truth doesn't lie. I'm a reflection of your true self. So maybe your faith in her isn't quite so absolute after all."

"What are you talking about? I am me! Nobody else!"


	12. Dark Pit vs Roxas

Episode 12: Dark Pit vs Roxas

**Author's note: Kid Icarus and Kingdom Hearts spoilers ahead. Though let's face it, if you understand the latter enough for something to be a spoiler, you've probably played the game **

_Death Battle intro starts playing._

**Boomstick:** We've all got a darker side. Mine eats vegan food and drinks lemonade on weekends *shudders* The horror…

**Wiz:** But sometimes those darker sides become so real, they get their own separate entities, just like with today's combatants.

**Boomstick:** Dark Pit, incomplete clone of Pit from Kid Icarus.

**Wiz:** And Roxas, Sora's Nobody from Kingdom Hearts.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Everyone knows who Pit is, the angelic leader of Palutena's army.

**Boomstick:** Oh yeah, the cupid looking kid that Sora killed…wait, is this fight…

**Wiz:** Boomstick, the real show basically does Marvel vs DC every other week. I think doing the same thing with a couple of other franchises is long overdue.

**Boomstick:** Then how come this fanfic hasn't had a Marvel DC matchup?

**Wiz:** Because Kieran only has two characters from each lined up, and none of them are…hey, come on, let's focus here.

**Boomstick:** Oh, right. So, twenty five years after Pit defeated Medusa, Medusa decided it was time for a comeback, and brought along her friends Hewdraw, Thanatos, and Pandora, the latter of which had something called the Mirror of Truth.

**Wiz:** While Pit was fighting the God of Calamity, she managed to clone the young hero, creating an evil clone of him named…Dark Pit.

**Boomstick:** Sounds like the name of a really deep hole.

**Wiz:** Err, I guess. Anyway, before the cloning process could finish, the mirror was shattered, essentially leaving Dark Pit as a free agent.

**Boomstick:** Didn't stop him from throwing down with Pit almost immediately after he was created though.

**Wiz:** Anyway, Dark Pit believed he was the real Pit, as he shared the same feelings as the original Pit. This included believing Medusa is his enemy, which is why he helped Pit by taking out some Underworld guards.

**Boomstick:** As a clone, Dark Pit's fighting style is very similar to Pit's, just more aggressive. He'll use bows, swords, staves, and other weapons as he sees fit.

**Wiz:** He also has the power of unrestricted flight, after absorbing Pandora's remains during his creation, unlike Pit who can only fly for five minutes at a time when Palutena allows him to.

**Boomstick:** And since Dark Pit can do pretty much everything Pit can do, it can be assumed that he has similar speed, strength, and durability. However, since he's supposed to be evil Pit, Dark Pit tends to be arrogant and cocky, and is more likely to attack when people's guard is down.

**Wiz:** However, he does tend to care about Pit…if only because once when Pit went into a coma, so did Dark Pit.

**Boomstick:** Though the two have fought alongside each other, which is nice. So, what are this guy's weaknesses?

**Wiz:** Nothing of note, honestly.

**Boomstick:** WHAT?! You mean he's invincible?

**Wiz:** No, I mean as in there's not really anything of note that really affects him any more than anything else. Like Pit, he can still only take so much punishment before he goes down, though the fact that he can take on gods means he's definitely not going down easily.

**Dark Pit:** You've got me confused with the other guy. This Pit is no pawn. I'll take care of him. But only after I've finished you!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Once upon a time, there was a boy named Sora. He and his friends wanted to go on an adventure and leave their island home.

**Boomstick:** And they got to do that, and met a bunch of Disney characters doing so, but at the cost of losing that island to a bunch of shadow monsters called Heartless. Damn, that's harsh.

**Wiz:** In order to save his friend Kairi, Sora had to stab himself in the heart…

**Boomstick:** Err, Disney's for kids, right? Because ritualistic seppuku doesn't sound very kid friendly.

**Wiz:** …and in the process, accidentally created his Nobody, Roxas.

**Boomstick:** Wiz, that's kind of offensive. He's clearly somebody, he's standing right there.

**Wiz:** No, Boomstick, in Kingdom Hearts, a Nobody is an individual who has lost their heart.

**Boomstick:** So when Sora stabbed himself, he pushed his heart out of his body and Roxas took over? Shit Disney, that's even darker than I…

**Wiz:** Not even close. Heart in Kingdom Hearts isn't necessarily the organ, it's more of a construct from people's emotions.

**Boomstick:** So, wishy washy bullcrap?

**Wiz:** Kind of, yes.

**Boomstick:** So what's so special about this Roxas guy then?

**Wiz:** Well, while most Nobodies don't exist at the same time as their Somebodies, Roxas did, due to the unique method of his creation.

**Boomstick:** However, he didn't know what the hell was going on at the time, so he just went along with black robe Sephiroth to join the guys you fight in the second Kingdom Hearts game. And by that I mean both Kingdom Hearts II and the real second game.

**Wiz:** Over time, he developed a deep friendship with fellow Organization members Axel and Xion, until he started questioning the Organization's motives and eventually was forced to fight and kill Xion…who he quickly forgot about.

**Boomstick:** YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN HEATHEN MOUTH ABOUT THAT SCENE!

**Wiz:** O…kay. Anyway, as a member of Organization XIII, Roxas wielded a keyblade, a powerful weapon that acts as a homing beacon for the Heartless, so Roxas was frequently harvesting them with it.

**Boomstick:** Or should you say them, since Roxas can actually dual-wield these things, thanks to the connection Sora has with his friends.

**Wiz:** These keyblades give Roxas a boost in strength, both physically and magically, and a boost to his defence.

**Boomstick:** Speaking of which, Roxas can use magic too. Maybe not as much as Sora, but he still has some, like fire, ice, and electricity.

**Wiz:** He also has healing magic to heal his wounds, and can also summon a large gust of wind to blow his opponents around if needed.

**Boomstick:** *snorts* Blow. Also, if Roxas wants to go for an even more devastating attack, he always has his Limit Breaks, Event Horizon, which summons pillars of light to hurt the other guy, and Magic Hour, which does kinda the same thing, but bigger.

**Wiz:** All in all, this makes Roxas a scary opponent. However, he is very different from his counterpart Sora.

**Boomstick:** See, while Sora will be at least a bit more passive, Roxas is quicker to flip his lid and kill people, and tends to be more arrogant and cocky. Hey, wait, Dark Pit's the same. Why is that a thing with evil clones who turn out to not be evil?

**Wiz:** An unfortunately design flaw, if my experiments are anything to go by.

**Boomstick:** And this has led to Roxas losing his cool at the wrong time and being taken down. Still, as essentially a clone of Sora, Roxas has quite a bit of power behind him to back up his possible weaknesses.

**Roxas:** So you hurt. I warned you. Don't you remember what I said? That hurt will drag you into the darkness. You have to get rid of all of it.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

Roxas was walking through Twilight Town, carrying ice-creams for himself and his friends and heading towards the clock tower. "I hope these don't melt before I get there," he said, picking up the pace. Roxas rounded a corner, and crashed right into someone. "Oops, sorry," he said, and noticed he miraculously hadn't dropped any of the ice-creams. "Gotta go."

"Hey, stop right there," said the person he crashed into. Roxas stopped and took a good look at the person, and noticed he was quite different from normal. For one thing, he had wings, and was dressed almost entirely in black. "You think you can just run into people and leave just like that?"

"I said I was sorry," said Roxas, backing up a bit. "Besides, I've gotta get these ice-creams to my…"

"I don't care," said Dark Pit, producing his bow. "It's rude to just run straight into someone and not check that they're okay."

"You seem okay," said Roxas.

"That's not the point," snapped Dark Pit, taking to the air and aiming an arrows at Roxas.

Roxas sighed as he put the ice-creams down and brought out his two keyblades. "Guess they're gonna melt after all," he said, as Dark Pit let loose an arrow.

**FIGHT!**

Roxas jumped up as the arrow hit the ground where he'd just been, and began slashing at Dark Pit, who changed his bow into a pair of short swords, and engaged Roxas in the air until the two of them crashed to the ground. Dark Pit jumped back and changed his weapon back into a bow and started firing rapidly at Roxas.

"FIRAGA!" yelled Roxas, hurling a large fireball at some of the arrows and destroying them. "BLIZAGA! THUNDAGA!" Walls of ice and bolts of electricity started flying at the arrows too and destroying them.

"You can't keep that up forever," said Dark Pit, taking to the air again and quickly firing another three arrows.

"Oh yeah?" asked Roxas. "Try this. AEROGA!" Suddenly, a huge gust of air blasted Dark Pit and his arrows backwards and out of the sky. "You wanna fly? Try it when the wind's against you."

"Guess I'll just have to beat you on the ground then," said Dark Pit, running at Roxas with his swords again. Roxas backed up while Dark Pit was attacking with so much aggression, until Dark Pit managed to get an attack to land. Then another, and another. Dark Pit smirked as watched the blood drip from Roxas's wounds. "Give it up, buddy," he said. "It's over."

"Not yet," said Roxas between gritted teeth, then looked up at Dark Pit with a glare. "FIRAGA!" A blast of fire caught Dark Pit by surprise, knocking him backwards. Dark Pit noticed his wings had caught fire, and quickly put them out.

"Not cool dude," said Dark Pit, noticing how singed the feathers were, then saw Roxas was standing upright again, though still covered in his blood.

"CURAGA!" yelled Roxas, as a glow came over him. Suddenly, Roxas's wounds healed up, and he looked completely revitalised.

"What…the hell?" asked Dark Pit, as Roxas came running in.

"You're finished," said Roxas, his keyblade glowing white. Roxas leapt at Dark Pit and began slashing him rapidly, until four pillars of light burst forth and struck the dark angel. Dark Pit landed on the ground, beaten and bloody, just as Roxas landed feet first on his face, crushing him. "Oops, guess I overdid it," he said, walking away to go get more ice-cream.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Good thing those robes are black. Blood is a bitch to get out.

**Wiz:** Dark Pit may have had infinite flight while Roxas could only glide, but Roxas's Aero spells could quickly put that out of commission.

**Boomstick:** He also has healing magic, and could replenish any lost damage when needed, so that also became a problem.

**Wiz:** And since both were basically clones of their original forms, many of their stats would carry over to them. And we all know how that worked out in Sora vs Pit. However, even looking at the differences between the originals and the clones, there was little that Dark Pit could do to counter Roxas for long.

**Boomstick:** Roxas won like Nobody's business.

**Wiz:** The winner is Roxas.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"That day, I gave up my own unsightly face. And I let go of the old me, the one that was so weak, so that I could become stronger. And then, at last... I obtained the power. The power to make all yield to my will. I... was... REBORN!"

"It can lull people to sleep and make them dream. It is active during nights of the new moon."


	13. Infinite vs Darkrai

Episode 13: Infinite vs Darkrai

**Author's note: Spoilers for Sonic Forces and Pokémon coming right up. Unless you stop reading now, then they'll have to figure out where you live before they can ruin things for you, and that's just too much effort for them, so you're probably safe.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** Black, the colour of nightmares and evil. Wherever darkness lies, destruction is sure to follow.

**Boomstick:** And today's combatants have no shortage of horrifying evil power at their disposal.

**Wiz:** Infinite, the ultimate mercenary from Sonic Forces.

**Boomstick:** And Darkrai, the nightmare inducing mythical Pokémon. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** The Jackal Squad is one of the most feared mercenary groups in Sonic the Hedgehog…

**Boomstick:** Since when?

**Wiz:** Since late 2017.

**Boomstick:** Really? Where were they before then?

**Wiz:** Who knows? Anyway, during a mission to steal some of Dr. Eggman's technology, the leader of this group slipped away from his team to take out the scientist himself.

**Boomstick:** However, he missed Eggman somehow, and hit the Phantom Ruby, a gem that showed him his greatest desire: a world in ruin. Hey Wiz, why do bad guys want to destroy the world? They know they live there, right?

**Wiz:** It's a mystery Boomstick, though I guess if there are space colonies around, destroying a planet's not such a bad thing. Anyway, Eggman saw the mercenary's vision, and struck a deal with him, where he and his Squad worked for Eggman.

**Boomstick:** And for a while it wasn't too bad. Then Shadow came along and beat them. Badly.

**Wiz:** Frustrated at how weak he was, the ultimate mercenary cast aside his old identity, and took the prototype of the Phantom Ruby, gaining almost unlimited power, and began going by a new name: Infinite.

**Boomstick:** And then the good doctor fused the Phantom Ruby to Infinite, essentially making the ultimate weapon to kill Sonic with. Damn, that's a devastatingly powerful badass.

**Wiz:** That doesn't even begin to cover it. Before the Phantom Ruby, Infinite was a powerful fighter in his own right, but afterwards surpassed the power of the Master Emerald, which until then had been the most powerful thing in the world.

**Boomstick:** As seeing as how the Master Emerald can allow its user to warp reality, that's no small feat. Hey Wiz, how come gems in Sonic have names like Phantom Ruby and Master Emerald?

**Wiz:** To make them sound cooler? Who knows. Anyway, his fusion with the Phantom Ruby gave him the ability to create and manipulate virtual reality…

**Boomstick:** So…video game illusions?

**Wiz:** No. See, Infinite's power allows him to essentially manipulate people's minds to see what he wanted people to see and believe. For example, he was able to convince everyone that he beat Sonic not once, but twice.

**Boomstick:** Damn, and that guy goes past the sound barrier on a casual stroll.

**Wiz:** Infinite also uses his powers for much smaller and less impressive feats like flight, teleportation, size manipulation, and firing energy beams. But mostly it's for reality warping.

**Boomstick:** Not to mention he can copy most of the other characters special techniques, including Metal Sonic's V. Maximum Overdrive Attack, an attack that involves overloading your own circuits. Yes, this guy can use an attack reserved purely for robots.

**Wiz:** Many of Infinite's illusions involve making a copy of someone else. The copies are so convincing that they even have mass, and can even carry some of the original's memories.

**Boomstick:** And he can make freaking blackholes. Jeez, what can't this guy do?

**Wiz:** Technically, they aren't blackholes. They're null spaces, which are essentially empty places where space-time doesn't exist.

**Boomstick:** What's the difference?

**Wiz:** The blackhole would probably crush you into nothingness, whereas the null space will leave you in purgatory.

**Boomstick:** …nerd. Anyway, what the hell can beat a guy who is practically all powerful?

**Wiz:** Well, the Phantom Ruby is incredibly powerful, but it still has a finite power supply. Exhaust the supply, it loses its power.

**Boomstick:** You also need to be within the Ruby's field of power, though seeing how far Infinite can stretch that, this often isn't a problem.

**Wiz:** Finally, Infinite is cocky and arrogant, seeing anyone less powerful than him as lesser beings and not worth his time, to the point where several characters that he could have easily killed, including Sonic himself, have been completely ignored, which led to his downfall.

**Boomstick:** Still, there's a reason he's called Infinite. Namely, that's almost how much power this guy has.

**Infinite:** Heh... You are spirited. I'll give you that. Very well. My new power will be the last thing you see!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Everyone has nightmares. They haunt us, make us feel fear, even make us feel small and insignificant.

**Boomstick:** You maybe.

**Wiz:** But in the Pokémon world, there is a creature actively doing just that, and its name is Darkrai.

**Boomstick:** Darkrai is an unholy, shadowy Pokémon, and just looks like a nightmare. Seriously, just look at those legs. What the hell's up with those?

**Wiz:** Don't worry, they're retractable. Anyway, as a Dark type Pokémon, it naturally has resistance to Ghost and Dark attacks, and is completely immune to Psychic attacks unless something is used to nullify this.

**Boomstick:** However, Darkrai is also weak against Fighting, Bug, and Fairy type moves. Wait, bugs and fairies? Really?

**Wiz:** Yeah, it's weird. Best not to think about it. Anyway, Darkrai has a wide variety of moves it can learn from levelling up, since we're using a wild Darkrai as opposed to a trainer owned one.

**Boomstick:** Its signature move is Dark Void, a move that puts all nearby foes to sleep, which is pretty effective for someone who induces nightmares. Unfortunately, it also has a 50% accuracy rating. And Hypnosis does the same thing but only has 60% accuracy. Might as well stick with the signature move, especially since it sounds cooler.

**Wiz:** Dream Eater is a technique that allows the user to attack the opponent while they're asleep, and recover health up to half of what was dealt to the opponent.

**Boomstick:** Nightmare inflicts a quarter of the opponent's max health on any sleeping foe. No, not current HP, MAX HP. Damn, that's brutal.

**Wiz:** And for its fourth and final move, we're giving it Feint Attack, an attack that bypasses all accuracy checks and always hits. I mean, he needs something to use while the opponent's awake.

**Boomstick:** On top of that, if we go by what happens in the Rise of Darkrai movie, Darkrai can do so much more than that, including turn invisible, go through walls and the ground, and freaking fly!

**Wiz:** And Darkrai has one other trick up its sleeve: its special ability Bad Dreams. This can allow any sleeping enemy to take up to one eighth of its max HP.

**Boomstick:** Holy shit! This is on top of the quarter it takes from Nightmare? Jeez, that's like…a big percentage of its health in one fell swoop.

**Wiz:** Specifically, it's three eighths, or thirty seven and a half percent of its opponent's maximum health. Needless to say, don't go to sleep around Darkrai.

**Boomstick:** So what the hell can you do to stop this thing? You know, other than punching it, or setting Tinkerbell loose on it?

**Wiz:** Really, your best bet is to try and knock it out, since its HP is actually reasonable low compared to many other Pokémon. Unfortunately, Darkrai has high speed and special attack to help balance that out.

**Boomstick:** And also, in the movie, it took Dialga AND Palkia, two other legendary Pokémon, to take Darkrai down. And even that took some doing before they could Thanos him out of existence.

**Wiz:** Still, when it comes to nightmares, there's no-one more dangerous than Darkrai.

**Pokedex:** Darkrai, the Pitch-Black Pokémon. Legend has it that on a moonless night, Darkrai will lure people to sleep and unleash nightmares upon them.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

Infinite looked down at the Sinnoh region from the north. "Soon," he said. "It all shall fall to me." Infinite floated down to an island to the north west of the region. He settled down next to a lake in the middle of a forest, and contacted his employer. Unbeknownst to him, a dark, shadowy figure was watching him.

"Doctor," said Infinite. "I have reached the place you want me to lay waste to. Shall I begin now, or wait for you to get here?"

"Why wait?" asked Eggman. "Get started now, and we'll finish whatever you don't get done."

"Very well," said Infinite. "Allow me to…" Suddenly, a dark ball flew past him. "What the hell? I'm under attack."

"WHAT?! Is it that annoying blue hedgehog?" demanded Eggman.

"No…" said Infinite, catching sight of something in the shadows. "It's black. Shadow maybe? Come to test my new strength maybe."

"Well, whoever it is, take them out," said Eggman. "We have an empire to build."

"Was already planning on it," said Infinite, carefully watching the shadow until it got close enough, then tackling it. "I don't know who you are, but you're going to regret thinking you can attack me."

"LEAVE HERE!" growled Darkrai, preparing another energy blast.

"Make me," said Infinite, charging at Darkrai.

**FIGHT!**

Darkrai unleashed another Dark Void attack at Infinite, but Infinite dodged to the side. "Face a new reality," said Infinite, the world suddenly glowing a distinct shade of red. Infinite used this time to back up a bit, confident his attack would keep his opponent busy for a while…

…only for Darkrai to fly straight through the attack, seemingly unaffected. "What?" gasped Infinite, stopping where he was. "He must have a particularly strong mind to see through my illusions. Let's try this a different way." Infinite's eye began glowing red again, and all around Darkrai figures started popping up and taking form. "There's no way that he'll…" Darkrai flew right past the figures, even the ones that had become solid, as though they weren't there.

"LEAVE!" growled Darkrai, attacking Infinite head-on and knocking him down.

"You're strong, I'll give you that," said Infinite. "But I have unlimited power. You cannot defeat me." Infinite got back up and ran at Darkrai, punching it as hard as he could. Darkrai recoiled, obviously hurt. "Physical damage, huh? I suppose I'll have to do that to you then." Infinite came at Darkrai again, punching and kicking it several more times.

Darkrai took the blows as best it could, before flying straight at Infinite again, knocking him down. Before he had a chance to get back up, Darkrai was already firing another Dark Void attack at Infinite, this time managing to hit him.

"What…was that…?" asked Infinite, as he began to fall asleep. Infinite fell to the ground, sleeping peacefully, as Darkrai continued its attack on the dreaming jackal.

Inside his dream, Infinite was staring down at a world in ruins, and he was sitting in a large throne. "It's…a dream come true," said Infinite. "But I feel like I'm forgetting something…" All of a sudden, a large dark shape appeared, and seemed to swallow everything. "What? Wait…" Infinite thought hard, then remembered: that creature he was fighting before. He remembered feeling drowsy, then he was in this world. 'I have to wake up,' thought Infinite, focusing hard as he felt another attack from Darkrai.

In the waking world, Darkrai was feeling much more refreshed, having just eaten Infinite's dreams a couple of times, but it was time to finish this. Darkrai was preparing to use its Nightmare move…

…only for Infinite to wake up. "You underestimate my powers," said Infinite. "I am all powerful. My power is unlimited. And now, I will kill you." Infinite ran at Darkrai, preparing to punch it…

…as Darkrai went intangible, allowing Infinite to pass right through it. "WHAT?!" he yelled, turning around to see Darkrai shoving its hand through his chest, but this time, it was tangible.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT!" growled Darkrai, removing its hand. Infinite stumbled backwards, beginning to fear the thing before him. Darkrai created another Dark Void attack, and made sure it hit.

"No…" yawned Infinite, falling asleep. This time, however, Darkrai wasted no time using Nightmare on him, soon leaving the jackal dead on the ground in the forest.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** At least he died peacefully in his sleep…after experiencing countless terrors. That's better than most of our combatants get.

**Wiz:** While researching this, it looked like this battle was going to be pretty close, until one little detail turned this entire battle almost one-sided: Infinite's illusionary powers are mental based.

**Boomstick:** Mental? You mean like psychic attacks? That thing Dark-type Pokémon like Darkrai are immune to?

**Wiz:** Exactly. However, Darkrai still had its work cut out for it. Infinite's power was still pretty much unlimited, so he could hold out for a while. Darkrai's main strength would be to put him to sleep and stop him that way.

**Boomstick:** Infinite's only real hope was to beat Darkrai with physical attacks. However, keep in mind Darkrai can hold out against TWO other legendary Pokémon, while Infinite lost easily to Shadow. That's a pretty big difference in strength.

**Wiz:** In the end, Darkrai's resistance to psychic attacks, and its own extremely powerful attacks when its opponents are asleep were too much for Infinite to handle.

**Boomstick:** Darkrai made Infinite's life finite.

**Wiz:** The winner is Darkrai.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle!

"Blow it out your ass, bitch! It's gonna take a hell of a lot more than you to stop me!"

"As the survivors, we carry the feelings of those who've passed away on our shoulders."


	14. Ryūko Matoi vs Akame

Episode 14: Ryūko Matoi vs Akame

**Author's note: Kill la Kill and Akame ga Kill spoilers coming soon. Man, that's a lot of kill.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** It seems to be a running theme in many shows not to mess with the dark haired girl.

**Boomstick:** Especially when she's carrying a badass bladed weapon.

**Wiz:** Ryūko Matoi, Life Fibre infused human from Kill la Kill.

**Boomstick:** And Akame, assassin of Night Raid from Akame ga Kill. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Do you ever wonder why humans wear clothes?

**Boomstick:** Please don't suggest that you're gonna get naked. I really don't need to see that.

**Wiz:** The reason, according to Kill la Kill, is because of the Life Fibers, parasitic organisms that sped along human evolution so that we would invent clothes and wear them.

**Boomstick:** …right. And that Life Fibers wanted this because…?

**Wiz:** Universal domination. You know, the usual.

**Boomstick:** I don't know how you can take over the universe by forcing people to wear pants, but whatever.

**Wiz:** Anyway, the original Life Fiber was discovered by a woman named Ragyō Kiryūin, who planned to take over the world with it.

**Boomstick:** Then she settled down with a man named Sōichirō and had a couple of kids, and that was the end of that…nah, just kidding. She tried to fuse her first daughter with Life Fibers, but it didn't work. So she tried again with her second daughter, and it failed again, so she killed it. Damn bitch.

**Wiz:** Or so she thought. What actually happened was Sōichirō rescued the baby, and left, raising the child himself, renaming himself Isshin Matoi, and the baby Ryūko.

**Boomstick:** Except Isshin…wasn't the best parent. He spent most of his time working on experiments, while Ryūko kept getting into trouble and basically just became a rebel.

**Wiz:** But because this an anime, he was soon killed. Despite not liking him, Ryūko decided to make it her mission to kill the one who killed him. This eventually led her to Honnōji Academy, led by Lady Satsuki Kiryūin.

**Boomstick:** Wait, Kiryūin? Isn't that…?

**Wiz:** Yeah, but she doesn't find out until two thirds of the way through the series.

**Boomstick:** Hold on *checks the top of the page* Yep, we have a spoiler warning. Continue.

**Wiz:** Anyway, after challenging Satsuki to a fight, Ryūko was…swiftly taken down by one of Satsuki's minions, causing her to retreat to her burned down house and fall down a trapdoor, where she landed on a pile of clothes.

**Boomstick:** Good thing she landed softly, even if she was bleeding. However, her blood ended up dripping onto a certain sailor suit, which came to life and…hey, HEY! What's it doing? Can we even show something like that?

**Wiz:** Yeah, it does look a bit like that, doesn't it? Anyway, that "sailor suit" is a Kamui named Senketsu. A Kamui is a piece of clothing made entirely of Life Fibers, and by drinking their wearer's blood, can become a powerful piece of armour for them.

**Boomstick:** What the hell do you mean armour? That thing is a glorified bikini at best, and even then most bikinis cover more than that.

**Wiz:** It is a bit crass, isn't it? Then again, its creator was the founder of the rebel organisation Nudist Beach.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, turns out Ryūko's dad made that thing for his daugh…wait, WHAT?! He made THAT for his daughter?! How did he even get her measurements? What the actual fu…?

**Wiz:** Focus Boomstick. The fact is, despite it not covering much, Senketsu is a surprisingly durable armour. While wearing him, Ryūko has taken some extremely devastating blows with very few ill effects, including falling from high places and getting thrown through walls.

**Boomstick:** But all of this power is limited by how willing the wearer is to actually wear it Kamui. The less willing you are, the more blood it draws, the weaker the user gets. Luckily, Ryūko has gotten used to wearing practically nothing into battle, so this is no longer a problem for her.

**Wiz:** Senketsu's also got a his own arsenal of powers that can be used too, including flight and the ability to cover itself in blades.

**Boomstick:** Speaking of blades, Ryūko has her own one: the scissor blade that killed her father. Yes, a scissor blade.

**Wiz:** Those are no ordinary scissors. Those are Rending Scissors, a special pair of scissors made by Ryūko's father for the purpose of destroying Life Fibers. Ryūko employed these to great effect throughout the series, including destroying pretty much every Goku uniform she came across, sometimes destroying dozens in a single swing.

**Boomstick:** Goku uniform? You mean the orange wearing…

**Wiz:** No. Anyway, the scissors have the ability to change size, which is how they were able to do so much damage to so many things.

**Boomstick:** HOLY SHIT! Did they just become the size of a freaking BUILDING?! How is that…

**Wiz:** This show doesn't care much for physics. But even without her Rending Scissors, Ryūko is incredibly tough, managing to survive a fall from orbit while completely naked, and tearing off a Kamui that was sewn into her skin, despite the fact that she should have died from blood loss from doing so.

**Boomstick:** Why do her best strength feats involve her getting naked?

**Wiz:** Probably a coincidence. But she wouldn't be able to do this if it wasn't for her being infused with Life Fibers.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, turns out Mummy Dearest's experiments weren't such a failure after all. How else do you think Ryūko was able to survive someone pulling her freaking heart out of her chest? Holy shit that's horrifying. Is there anything that can actually kill her?

**Wiz:** Not a lot, since Ryūko's Life Fiber biology allows her to regenerate from most wounds. However, if her Life Fibers are cut from both sides at once, she loses this ability.

**Boomstick:** Is that what those freaking scissors are for?

**Wiz:** Pretty much. On top of this however, Ryūko is quick to anger, and when she's extremely pissed off, while significantly more dangerous, is also more reckless and won't necessarily listen to advice, no matter how good.

**Boomstick:** Still, Ryūko has survived some crazy stuff and come out swinging. No wonder she's such a badass.

**Ryūko:** To hell with your opinion. I'll take my own path no matter what anyone else says!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Night Raid is one of the most dangerous groups of assassins of the long standing Empire.

**Boomstick:** What empire?

**Wiz:** For some reason it doesn't have a name, it's just the empire.

**Boomstick:** You'd think an oppressive empire with a thousand years of people's taxes would be able to hire someone to come up with a name.

**Wiz:** You'd think that, but no.

**Boomstick:** Oh…well anyway, one of the members of Night Raid is the cold-hearted assassin Akame. Damn, just looking at those eyes chills my soul.

**Wiz:** I don't blame you. Akame's been through a lot at her young age.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, yeah, name one anime protagonist that hasn't.

**Wiz:** At a young age, Akame's parents sold her and her sister Kurome to the Empire, who then decided to train them and about a hundred other kids to become assassins.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, because horribly torturing children has never turned out badly for anyone. And if it hasn't yet *pumps shotgun* I'll make it so.

**Wiz:** O…kay…anyway, Akame and Kurome managed to survive against near impossible odds, mostly by helping each other out.

**Boomstick:** Sadly, the Empire didn't like that, and forced them to be apart from each other, Akame going into a group called the Elite Seven. And was then forced to kill a close friend of hers for her first mission, since she was believed to be a spy for the Revolutionary Army.

**Wiz:** That kill was the first of many. Before long Akame was assigned to kill General Najenda. However, rather than kill her, Najenda managed to convince Akame to join the Revolutionary Army, finally defecting from the Empire.

**Boomstick:** Unfortunately, Kurome didn't care much for this decision, so the two of them decided they'd be the one to kill the other. Which they did near the end of the series.

**Wiz:** In fact, Akame won, and had no hesitation in doing so. That's due to Akame's cold and ruthless personality, where she will do whatever it takes to complete the mission in front of her, no matter what.

**Boomstick:** And a badass assassin like her needs a badass weapon to go with her, right?

**Wiz:** Indeed she does, and she has the Imperial Arms known as Murasame, which translates to "village rain".

**Boomstick:** That…doesn't sound that awesome.

**Wiz:** What if I told you that Murasame poisons every person it cuts, and death is only seconds away?

**Boomstick:** That's better. I mean, what the hell kind of name is "village rain"?

**Wiz:** In the series it's known as One-Cut Killer: Murasame, and its user is nicknamed Akame of the Demon Sword Murasame.

**Boomstick:** I guess Demon Sword works for that thing, but I'd have been naming it after the poison thing.

**Wiz:** Actually, the Demon Sword thing comes from the weapon's Trump Card, which turns the user pretty much into a demon.

**Boomstick:** So the most dangerous woman in the world becomes even more dangerous? How does that even work?

**Wiz:** By resisting her sword's poison, Akame gains a HUGE power burst, while being surrounded by a dark aura and her body gets covered in red marks. However, she has to take responsibility for all the lives that the weapon has taken.

**Boomstick:** Good thing she's seen so much death that this hardly fazes her. Like we said, Akame has no problem taking her own sister's life. She's one of the scariest members of Night Raid for a god damn reason.

**Wiz:** However, Akame's biggest weakness is perhaps the fact that she is still very much a human…despite her extremely good speed and athleticism. Any wound that would kill a normal human would still kill her.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, she can't even clean her sword without the fear of cutting herself, in which case she'd either have to go demon mode, or die.

**Wiz:** She also tires out a lot faster when using her Trump Card, so she can only use it for a short time.

**Boomstick:** And her sword does need to cut actual flesh on an organic being in order to take effect, and only if they have a heart, so…there's that. Though Esdeath managed to stop the poison by cutting her arm off before it could get much further, so there's always that option.

**Wiz:** Still, Akame's skills and strength make her one of the most dangerous women to come across.

**Akame:** I have survived. So I will keep on surviving. Because although I can do nothing else but kill...I must keep on living. Surely I will find a road...to grow from here.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

Ryūko is walking down a street where she sees a notice board. Pinned in the middle of it was a wanted poster for someone named Akame of Night Raid, with a huge bounty on her for the murder of General Esdeath. "Whoa, that's a lot of money," said Ryūko. "And I don't even need her alive. If I can take her down, I can give some of that cash to Mako's folks as a thank you for taking me in."

"Take who down, exactly?" asked someone behind her.

Ryūko spun around, and saw Akame standing before her. "Right on time," said Ryūko, pulling the Seki-Tekko on her wrist. "LIFE FIBERS SYNCHRONISE!" Ryūko began the transformation that left her in an outfit that barely covered anything and grabbing her scissor blade out of its case.

"O…kay…" said Akame, slightly confused, but undistracted as she pulled Murasame out of its sheath.

**FIGHT!**

Ryūko charged straight at Akame and swung her scissor blade as hard as she could, successfully sending Akame flying backwards. Luckily, Akame had brought her sword up in time to block the attack. Akame landed hard, but was back on her feet immediately, and readying herself for Ryūko's next attack.

Ryūko again swung hard at Akame, but this time Akame started running as fast as she could. "Whoa, you're fast," said Ryūko. "But that shouldn't be a…" Before Ryūko could finish, Akame struck, aiming at Ryūko's back. "Oh, you BITCH!"

"Ryūko," said Senketsu, who'd taken the blow. "There's something about that sword. I'm feeling…off."

"What, how can you feel sick?" Ryūko asked. "You're clothing, you don't get sick."

"Are you talking to your clothes?" asked Akame. "Is that your Imperial Arms? An organic material armour type?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" snapped Ryūko. "Come here, I've got a bounty to collect."

"Good luck," said Akame, jumping over Ryūko's next swing.

"Whoa, you can fly?" asked Ryūko. "Awesome. I can do that too. SENKETSU SHIPPU!"

"SENKETSU SHIPPU!" repeated Senketsu, the bottom of the outfit becoming a jet propulsion and the top becoming wings.

Ryūko blasted off the ground, grabbing Akame out of the air. Akame gasped in shock, then recovered her wits enough to realise what a good opportunity this was. Raising her sword above her head, Akame drove the sword through Ryūko's back.

"AHHH! God damn it bitch," snarled Ryūko, grabbing Akame around the neck and throwing her at the ground. Ryūko started flying back towards the ground to continue to pulverise Akame when she felt something odd, like there was something underneath her skin. "What the hell? What did you do to me?!"

"That's the poison of Murasame," said Akame, sheathing her sword. "Do not fret, you will be dead in a few seconds."

"NO! I'm not dying yet," growled Ryūko, black marks creeping around her body. "I'm taking you down…NO MATTER WHAT!" Suddenly, the black marks seemed to stop moving, some even retreating.

"What?!" asked Akame in shock, drawing her sword again and blocking Ryūko's next attack. "That's not possible."

"Guess it is now," said Ryūko, striking at Akame as hard as she could. "SENKETSU SENJIN!"

"SENKETSU SENJIN!" repeated Senketsu, transforming himself so he was covered in blades. "Get in close Ryūko, then I'll try and finish her."

"I'd love to see you try," said Akame, cutting her arm with her sword. Immediately the black marks started spreading around her body, which she forced herself to resist.

"What the hell is she doing?" asked Ryūko, watching Akame struggling with the curse. "Oh well, guess this will make this easier."

"Wait Ryūko…" started Senketsu, but it was too late. By the time he'd spoken, Ryūko had swung at Akame…who blocked it.

"What the…" started Ryūko, as Akame vanished from view. "Where'd she…" Before she could finish that question, Ryūko felt someone kick her in the back, sending her flying down the street.

"That…god damn…bitch…" said Ryūko, standing up as Akame caught up to her and started slashing her from all sides with her sword. "I will KILL YOU!"

"You would need to hit me first," said Akame, not slowing down as she forced Ryūko back.

"Ryūko, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Senketsu.

"I think so," said Ryūko, seeing where they were being pushed.

"Die," said Akame, forcing her sword through Ryūko.

Ryūko gasped in shock, then grinned wickedly. "It's a good thing I'm made of Life Fibers," she said. "Otherwise that might have killed me."

"WHAT?!" asked Akame, her Trump Card wearing off.

"Speaking of killing…" said Ryūko, opening her case to grab her other scissor blade. "Goodbye." A screw appeared above the scissor blades and joined them together as Ryūko closed them, cutting Akame in half. Ryūko collapsed to the ground, exhausted, but alive.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Oh shit, that was badass. But how the hell is Ryūko alive? I thought Akame's sword killed everything really quickly.

**Wiz:** This was the biggest question in regards to who would win. Akame has never had a problem landing at least one blow on her opponent, regardless of whether they were faster or stronger than her, so it was definitely a question of whether Ryūko would be killed by the poison. And the research into it indicated that Ryūko might just get away with surviving.

**Boomstick:** Doesn't it just kill any living being with a heart?

**Wiz:** You mean like Akame when she uses her Trump Card? Akame survives this by willing herself to resist the poison. And Ryūko's got her own strong willpower too, like throwing off Ragyō's mind control and tearing Junketsu off her skin, despite the extreme pain and threat of bleeding to death. Yes, Ryūko has survived something that was explicitly stated to kill her, and even continued fighting for a little while, so there's no reason she couldn't do it again.

**Boomstick:** Beyond that, Ryūko is so much stronger than Akame. Ryūko survived a naked fall from orbit. Any normal person who tried that would burn up in the Earth's atmosphere long before they hit the ground. Not to mention all the times she's cut buildings in half in a single swing.

**Wiz:** Ryūko also had more speed than Akame, who once sliced over two hundred tennis balls that had been served at her before they managed to hit her.

**Boomstick:** Really, the only thing that would kill Ryūko is cutting her Life Fiber body from both sides at once, something that Akame wouldn't think to do since, you know, she's used to killing people in a single slash.

**Wiz:** In the end, Ryūko's strength, speed, durability, and overall willpower were too much for Akame to handle.

**Boomstick:** Ryūko Akame ga Killed her opponent.

**Wiz:** The winner is Ryūko Matoi

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"You have misunderstood me, master. There is no other leaf, there is only divine justice."

"Had I known one human's death would pain you so, I would have killed more. And kill more I shall. Carry that agony with you to oblivion, Superman."


	15. Zamasu vs Darkseid

Episode 15: Zamasu vs Darkseid

**Author's note: Dragon Ball Super and DC Animated Universe spoilers. Specifically the Animated Universe for Darkseid. Like I said, only one version is allowed in, and this is the one I chose. Okay, here goes.**

_Death Battle intro starts._

**Wiz:** Deities are among the most powerful beings in any universe. But when they feel like destroying everything, it means the end of days for all living beings.

**Boomstick:** Zamasu, Kai of Universe 10 in Dragon Ball Super.

**Wiz:** And Darkseid, Superman's most dangerous enemy from DC. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** The Dragon Ball universe is full of some of the most powerful characters in all fiction. And it only got more powerful with Super's inclusion of not only gods, but a multiverse full of other super powerful beings.

**Boomstick:** Doesn't a multiverse imply there's, like, an infinite number of gods?

**Wiz:** Actually Boomstick, there's only twelve universes.

**Boomstick:** Wait, really?

**Wiz:** Well, there were eighteen, but Omni-King Zeno decided to get rid of six of them.

**Boomstick:** That adorable little guy can erase a UNIVERSE?!

**Wiz:** It's Dragon Ball, that's pretty normal. Anyway, in Universe 10 the North Kai Zamasu was selected to be the successor to the current Supreme Kai Gowasu.

**Boomstick:** There was just one tiny problem: he…hated life.

**Wiz:** Believing that creatures that used brute strength instead of the intelligence given to them were lesser beings, Zamasu tried to convince Gowasu that these sorts of creatures should be eliminated. Gowasu, however, thought he could convince Zamasu otherwise. And it seemed to be working.

**Boomstick:** Which is code for: he pretended to agree so he could kill Gowasu and become the new Supreme Kai. Wait, how do you even kill what is essentially god?

**Wiz:** Well, considering Whis reversed time and Beerus wiped Zamasu out of existence, I'd say you have to be pretty freaking powerful.

**Boomstick:** Wait, how'd they know to do that? They're not even in the same universe.

**Wiz:** For that, we have to backtrack a little bit. You see, in an alternate timeline in Universe 7, Trunks was fighting a monster in an apocalyptic world…

**Boomstick:** Yeah, I know, Androids 17 and 18 were…

**Wiz:** No, not them. Different monster.

**Boomstick:** Ah, Cell then.

**Wiz:** Not him either.

**Boomstick:** Man, Future Trunks's timeline can't catch a break.

**Wiz:** No it can't. Anyway, Trunks was facing a far more powerful opponent: Goku Black.

**Boomstick:** But…Goku can't be evil. Why is he evil?

**Wiz:** I'm getting to it. But anyway, Trunks couldn't beat this monster, so he went back in time to recruit Goku and Vegeta, who fought this guy. Suddenly, Beerus and Whis realised this guy's energy was similar to Zamasu's, which made them suspicious enough to investigate. Through their investigations, they found that, after Goku had challenged Zamasu to a fight, Zamasu had been inspired to use the Super Dragon Balls to give himself Goku's body and to become immortal. But because Beerus destroyed Zamasu before that happened, and because Goku Black had a Time Ring, he continued to exist and wreak havoc.

**Boomstick:** So…timey-wimey bullshit?

**Wiz:** Pretty much, yes. All that's important to know is that Zamasu hated Goku, so he hatched a plan to kill Gowasu and Goku, then destroy all life in all universes.

**Boomstick:** See? How hard is it to just say that?

**Wiz:** In any case, Zamasu is a pretty powerful and clever opponent. In his original timeline, his first order of business was to destroy all the Supreme Kais, therefore all the Gods of Destruction like Beerus were gone too.

**Boomstick:** His signature move is called God Split Cut, which is basically a sword made of pure energy that he can stab his opponent with. Damn, that's harsh.

**Wiz:** Like most Dragon Ball characters, he also possesses the ability to fly and to fire powerful energy blasts at his opponents, and is durable enough to take devastating blows from Goku and Vegeta while they're in Super Saiyan Blue mode.

**Boomstick:** And when he gets super desperate, he can fuse with Goku Black and become…

**Wiz:** No.

**Boomstick:** Wait, what?

**Wiz:** To keep this somewhat fair, this is Zamasu alone with no Goku Black to back him up. Darkseid doesn't get back up, why should Zamasu?

**Boomstick:** Fine, whatever. So, how do you beat this guy? Because I'm pretty sure this guy needed to be erased from existence in order to kill him in the anime.

**Wiz:** That was after he'd fused with Black and basically became invulnerable. Again, to balance things out, we're using Zamasu from the timeline where Beerus killed him, since immortal in Dragon Ball pretty much means unkillable in any way, shape, or form. With that said, it took someone like Beerus to kill him, though Goku was able to surprise him with his fighting skills.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, his biggest flaw is his frequent underestimating of mortals. He tends to think they are incapable of anything but brutality, so when they suddenly pull off something clever, he doesn't know how to deal with it.

**Wiz:** Hell, he's arrogant even without considering what he thinks of mortals. He very strongly believes what he thinks is right, and won't let others tell him he's wrong.

**Boomstick:** Then again, when you're a god, what you say should go.

**Zamasu:** Mortals receive the divine gift of intellect, the potential for wisdom, but they misuse it to destroy the beauty of creation. Mortals do not succumb to evil, they are the evil. They create it, and spread it with minds they shouldn't possess. How can we call ourselves gods if we watch this plight and do nothing to stop it?

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** The planet of Apokolips is perhaps one of the biggest desolate hellscapes in the universe.

**Boomstick:** Well, duh. Its name literally means 'the end of the freaking world'.

**Wiz:** And while the reasons for it are forgotten, for as long as the planet has been burning, Darkseid has been ruling it.

**Boomstick:** Umm, dude? Not sure if anyone's told you, but if your planet is burning, that's not a good thing.

**Wiz:** He's not exactly a benevolent leader. It's definitely more of a dictatorship.

**Boomstick:** Emphasis on 'dick'.

**Wiz:** No arguments here. Darkseid has been leading a feud against the neighbouring planet New Genesis for thousands of years until they reached an uneasy peace agreement.

**Boomstick:** What the hell kind of peace agreement ends in the swapping of children? That's just…why?

**Wiz:** It was a way to stop the two planets attacking each other. And, as bizarre as it was, it worked. Though Darkseid saw it more as a way to preserve his troops, since New Genesis weren't exactly going to let him keep doing what he was doing.

**Boomstick:** And what was he doing?

**Wiz:** Nothing major, just trying to get the Anti-Life Equation.

**Boomstick:** Wow, that sounds horrifying even without bring maths into it.

**Wiz:** It's not a literally equation, more of a force that would allow Darkseid to destroy as much life in the universe as he wants.

**Boomstick:** Well…shit, that's pretty bad.

**Wiz:** Unfortunately for him, he always has one man in the way of accomplishing this, a kind of…superman.

**Boomstick:** Never make another pun. Ever.

**Wiz:** Anyway, Darkseid is perhaps the most powerful being in the universe, stronger even than Superman, though he prefers not to resort to physical conflict. Usually he can avoid it by having a minion helping him, but we're not letting him do that this time.

**Boomstick:** Like he needs anyone. Anyone who has ever gone toe to toe with Superman and lived is already pretty tough.

**Wiz:** Darkseid main attack is his Omega Beam, which is essentially guided laser eyes, which he has used for concussive force, intense heat, or total disintegration, depending on what's needed at the time.

**Boomstick:** He can also use it to teleport people, kind of as a cruel trick he can play if you piss him off, but, uh, probably not that useful in a fight to the death.

**Wiz:** To date, only one person has ever avoided the Omega Beam, and that person is…

**Boomstick:** Superman!

**Wiz:** Actually, it was Batman amazingly.

**Boomstick:** But…Superman has actual powers, and Batman…

**Wiz:** Batman was only able to throw off the Omega Beam by throwing a parademon in the way, shocking Darkseid since his Omega Beam had kept up with beings with superspeed before.

**Boomstick:** He also has a weapon called the Agony Matrix, a device that activates all the body's pain receptors at once, and keeps them active until the victims dies. Just like my ex-wife.

**Wiz:** And just like yours truly, he is a 12th level intellect, as proven when he was able to comprehend the Anti-Life Equation.

**Boomstick:** Oh shit, he actually GOT it? Shouldn't everyone be…you know, dead?

**Wiz:** It's not made clear in the show, but producer Dwayne McDuffie stated that Darkseid became part of the Source Wall, which is what happens to anyone who solves the Anti-Life Equation.

**Boomstick:** So, for getting the one thing that he wanted, he ended up as part of the thing to protect it? That really sucks for him, even if he is a homicidal maniac. So, other than becoming mortar for a cosmic wall, what can actually beat this guy?

**Wiz:** Darkseid is definitely not even close to invincible, as he has been killed before.

**Boomstick:** Wait, Superman actually killed someone?

**Wiz:** Not exactly. Darkseid was just inside Brainiac when he exploded.

**Boomstick:** WHOA! Wiz, there are children reading this.

**Wiz:** No, as in Brainiac was an asteroid at the time and Darkseid was within it, then it got destroyed with him inside.

**Boomstick:** And Lex Luthor tried to rebuild Brainiac, only to revive Darkseid with Brainiac inside him. Hey, at least they take turns with each other.

**Wiz:** That's…just…no.

**Boomstick:** So, what about all that stuff about Darkseid not existing in this universe because his presence would destroy it? You know, from the real Death Battle with Darkseid in it?

**Wiz:** Never came up in the show, so we have to presume it doesn't exist.

**Boomstick:** Good. Because anyone with enough power to manipulate the Man of Steel into trying to destroy the world is already powerful enough.

**Darkseid:** I am many things, Kal-El, but here, I am God.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

Darkseid stood in his throne room, watching several screens. One showed a two shapeshifters (one of whom was green) fighting each other fighting each other, while another showed a purple cat person fighting a yellow triangle person. The other screens all showed similar scenes. "It's odd," said Darkseid. "The most powerful beings of Earth are locked in combat with each other. But I must say that many of them are…unfamiliar to me. As though some unknown force is bringing them together."

"Shall we attack now father?" asked Kalibak, kneeling in front of his father.

"It would be a good idea to strike them while they fight amongst themselves," agreed Darkseid. "However, I…" Suddenly, there was an explosion from outside, shaking the building. "What was…" Before he could finish talking, a figure blasted a hole through the roof of the building and floated down to the floor.

"Excuse me, I seem to have the wrong planet," said the figure, who was entirely green. "I'm looking for a man named Son Goku. I don't believe he would live on a planet in…this condition."

"You hold your tongue," said Kalibak, charging the intruder. However, as he got close to him the intruder simply slapped him away, sending him flying out of the building and across the planet.

"Well that was rude," said Zamasu, dusting off his shirt. "Now, where were we?"

"You break into my house, demand information from me, and slap my son away without my permission?" said Darkseid, breaking into a smile. "You might just make a good underling."

"Underling?" snapped Zamasu. "You dare offer such a disgusting insult to a god?"

"You must be mistaken," said Darkseid, getting ready to fight. "After all, you're not me."

"I know," said Zamasu, getting into a fighting stance. "I'm better."

**FIGHT!**

Zamasu ran at Darkseid, while Darkseid just fired his Omega Beam straight at Zamasu. Zamasu dodged out of the way, only for the beam to change directions and hit Zamasu directly. Zamasu yelled in agony as he fell to the floor, trying to stay upright.

"Interesting," said Darkseid, slowly walking towards Zamasu. "This was meant to disintegrate you."

"Do. Not. Underestimate me. Mortal," said Zamasu between breaths as he forced himself up. Zamasu raised his hand and fired off an energy blast.

"You dare call me a mortal?!" snapped Darkseid, as the energy blast struck him and forced him to let up on his Omega Beam.

"A being as powerful and intelligent as you, using these talents for conquest rather than intelligence?" said Zamasu, his hand engulfed in pink energy. "And you dare call yourself a god? You're nothing more than an extra strong thug." Zamasu flew at Darkseid, preparing to strike.

"Try it," said Darkseid, not moving until the last moment, at which point he stepped aside and punched Zamasu into the ground. "I've conquered entire worlds, I am not scared of a single insignificant worm."

"You arrogant wretch," said Zamasu, stabbing upwards with his energy blade and catching Darkseid in the thigh. Darkseid blinked in surprise as he fell backwards, pain spreading through his body.

"Damn it," said Darkseid, grabbing an item nearby and throwing it at Zamasu. This item happened to be the Agony Matrix, which activated around Zamasu. Zamasu collapsed on the ground and screamed in pain.

"YOU! ARE! NOT! BETTER! THAN! ME!" yelled Zamasu between spasms of pain.

"I give you credit, you're much stronger than I anticipated," said Darkseid. "But if you're a god, I would think you could throw off having your pain receptors going off all at once."

Zamasu was silent for a moment as he focused on standing up. "FINE!" he yelled, and started powering up, using excess energy to destroy anything around him.

"Incredible," said Darkseid, starting to retreat before he could get caught in the exploding building.

"DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY!" yelled Zamasu, giving chase and catching up quickly, tackling Darkseid as the floor beneath them collapsed.

As they hit the ground, Darkseid threw Zamasu off him before grabbing him and starting to punch him against the wall. "Dodge this," said Darkseid, about to fire his Omega Beam…

…as he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his gut. "Wha..what?" Darkseid looked down to see Zamasu's glowing pink hand sliding out of his chest.

"You need to learn it dodge more than me," said Zamasu mockingly, earning him another punch from Darkseid.

"I'm ending this," said Darkseid, firing his Omega Beam again as Zamasu's hand went into its sword form. Darkseid groaned in agony as Zamasu stabbed him again, but redoubled his efforts to destroy Zamasu. Meanwhile, Zamasu began moving his hand upwards, slowly creeping up Darkseid's body, until he reached Darkseid's head. Darkseid realised too late what was happening, and Zamasu sliced through Darkseid's face.

Darkseid slumped over on the ground. Zamasu, panting from exhaustion, stood back up, and prepared a giant energy ball, firing it straight at the body of Darkseid, just to make sure. "Arrogant mortal," he said, flying away from the decimated planet.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Jeez, overkill much?

**Wiz:** Actually, Zamasu probably had the right idea to do that. Darkseid has survived fighting Superman, one of the most powerful beings in the universe. And usually, Superman isn't holding back against Darkseid, since he knows EXACTLY how dangerous he is.

**Boomstick:** Hell, both of them have survived some pretty crazy shit. So, what makes Zamasu's victory more likely than Darkseid?

**Wiz:** Mostly, it's what it took to kill them. Darkseid was killed in a powerful explosion, but Zamasu needed a God of Destruction.

**Boomstick:** Darkseid would probably have won if this had been the comics version, but we don't use composite versions here.

**Wiz:** In terms of feats, Zamasu had the edge too. While Superman has never killed Darkseid with his own hands, he was beaten to the brink of death before being carried off by his minions. On the other hand, Dragon Ball gods have been shown to require some extreme amounts of power to kill. A planet sized explosion was needed to kill King Kai, and he was hardly as strong as Zamasu.

**Boomstick:** And considering that the Omega Beam and Agony Matrix couldn't stop Superman, what's the chance it was going to work on a freaking god?

**Wiz:** In the end, Zamasu's godhood was too much for any of Darkseid's abilities to counter.

**Boomstick:** For Zamasu's opponent, everything went Dark…seid.

**Wiz:** *sigh* The winner is Zamasu.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"I have done nothing but fight to uphold the honour of my family name, a name that you married into!"

"Never using my bastard of a father's Quirk... No.. By rising to the top without using it... I'll have denied him everything."


	16. Weiss Schnee vs Shoto Todoroki

Episode 16: Weiss Schnee vs Shoto Todoroki

**Author's note: RWBY and My Hero Academia spoilers. I swear, this is the last time I'll be using RWBY…this season.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** Ice and fire, two powerful elements on opposing ends of the scale. But when used together they make a dangerous force.

**Boomstick:** Especially when those users have some serious daddy issues.

**Wiz:** …really? That's what you're focusing on?

**Boomstick:** Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company from RWBY.

**Wiz:** And Shoto Todoroki, the icy hot hero in training from My Hero Academia.

**Boomstick:** He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** The world of Remnant…

**Boomstick:** We get it, it's an insane place full of dark monsters called Grimm. Let's just skip that and get to the part that's relevant.

**Wiz:** …good point. Anyway, to combat these creatures, some people take on the role of Huntsmen and Huntresses, each using special weapons that can usually deal out both ranged and melee attacks.

**Boomstick:** It's like a gun and a sword had a baby. Hey, this series wasn't created by Squall Leonhart was it?

**Wiz:** …I mean, if Dead Fantasy is anything to go by, then the creator was definitely into Final Fantasy, but I don't think…

**Boomstick:** I KNEW it. Anyway, some people like to add a bit of extra firepower to their weapons. Or icepower, or lightningpower, or whatever other power you want.

**Wiz:** These powers come in the form of crystals called Dust, the largest distributer of which is the Schnee Dust Company. And the heiress to this fortune is none other than Weiss Schnee.

**Boomstick:** Well, former heiress. She had a little fight with daddy because he was being an asshole. But he'll get what's coming to him. Just wait for volume 7, coming in November.

**Wiz:** Despite being born into a life of luxury, Weiss hasn't had the easiest of lives, mostly because of her father, who only married her mother for the Schnee name and all that came with it. Not only that, but he frequently mistreats his faunus employees, making his company the target of faunus rights group the White Fang.

**Boomstick:** You call them employees, they're closer to slaves.

**Wiz:** However, once she realised she could fight, she made the decision to become a Huntress. Rather than attend the Atlas Huntsman Academy as her father was expecting, she chose to go to Beacon Academy. It's there she ended up on Team RWBY, led by her "best friend" Ruby Rose.

**Boomstick:** She wanted it to be her, but Ozpin said 'nah'.

**Wiz:** Throughout her time at Beacon however, Weiss proved herself to be a pretty exceptional fighter. Her primary weapon is her Multi Action Dust Rapier called Myrtenaster.

**Boomstick:** This sword can either be used like a regular sword to cut or stab things, or be used in combination with one of the six Dust cartridges in the chamber near the hilt.

**Wiz:** It can be assumed Weiss can use any type of Dust she wants in her weapon, however she has only been seen using six different types of Dust to date, so those are the six we'll be using. First up there's the red Dust, fire, which can be used to blast projectiles or throw a wave of fire at an enemy.

**Boomstick:** Next is her preferred element, the blue Dust, ice. In the past she's used it to make sheets of ice on the ground, or to create ice crystals to trap and even impale enemies. Damn.

**Wiz:** Yellow Dust is the element lightning, which Weiss hasn't used as much. However, she did once use this in conjunction with her glyphs to speed up her teammate Blake. Other than that, we can assume it electrocutes opponents just based on the name.

**Boomstick:** White Dust is wind, and she uses it to blow you…

**Wiz:** BOOMSTICK!

**Boomstick:** …away. What? What did you think I was going to say?

**Wiz:** …never mind. Anyway, cyan Dust is hard-light, which she uses to create a barrier to shield herself or allies from harm.

**Boomstick:** And finally, there's purple Dust, which is the element gravity. We haven't seen Weiss use it, but it affects whether things stay on the ground.

**Wiz:** And Weiss's arsenal wouldn't be complete without her Semblance, which allows her to create glyphs. Her glyphs have multiple uses, though they're mostly used as a solid barrier between her and whatever she's avoiding, whether that be by shielding herself from an enemy, or creating a platform for herself to land on. She can also use it to slow a falling object like a small airship.

**Boomstick:** But that's not all: she can also summon any monsters she's killed in battle as an ally, like some kind of serial killer Pokémon trainer.

**Wiz:** Her summons are limited to enemies that have caused her to push herself harder than normal, and so far has shown only three that meet this criteria: Arma Gigas, a giant suit of armour capable of dishing out immense damage; a Boarbatusk, a creature of Grimm shaped like a wild boar and capable of hard hitting and speedy attacks; and finally, a Queen Lancer, a giant wasp Grimm capable of flight and can spear things from a distance.

**Boomstick:** Damn, with an arsenal like this, how can she lose to anyone?

**Wiz:** Boomstick, she already lost to Mitsuru Kirijo in the official series.

**Boomstick:** Oh, right.

**Wiz:** But her actual weaknesses include her lack of stamina, as demonstrated by the fact that she's been knocked out more than any of her teammates, and the fact that she's still not great at summoning. Bigger summons like Arma Gigas take time to bring forth, though she is capable of summoning miniature versions much easier and stealthier.

**Boomstick:** Still, even if her stamina's not as high as her teammate's, Weiss's Aura is nothing to sneeze at. It protects her from taking damage until she wears it out. And her speed is insane, which is her primary battle style: hit the enemy from as many different angles as possible until they don't know where you are.

**Wiz:** There's a good reason she was at the top of her sparring class before the Fall of Beacon, which is saying something considering she was in the same class as Pyrrha, who took on Maiden Cinder and held her own for a long while.

**Boomstick:** Can Weiss win this battle? Wait and Schnee.

**Wiz:** UGH! Save the puns for the end please.

**Weiss:** I'm not siding with anyone. I'm doing what I feel is right, and that does not include wasting my time up here with these clueless people in Atlas. The Schnee family legacy isn't yours to leave. It's mine, and I'll do it as a Huntress.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Imagine a world where eighty percent of the population has a superpower.

**Boomstick:** Sounds like Syndrome almost completing his plans.

**Wiz:** …I guess, though in this case all the powers come naturally to people, and are referred to as Quirks.

**Boomstick:** Also, superheroes get paid for their services to society based on how good they are. So, Spider-Man would be super-rich in this universe, right?

**Wiz:** Probably. Anyway, the current number one hero is a man named Endeavor, whose fire based Quirk makes him an extremely powerful and extremely dangerous opponent.

**Boomstick:** Just like his son who we're focusing on today: Shoto Todoroki.

**Wiz:** Despite being born to the current number one, then number two hero, Todoroki doesn't exactly look up to his father.

**Boomstick:** Can't say I blame him. Guy's kind of a dick. Hell, he forced Todoroki's mum to marry him just so he could have a child with a Quirk strong enough to beat the number one hero All-Might. He even beat his wife when she said Todoroki's training was too harsh. Damn, at least my dad just wasn't around.

**Wiz:** Unfortunately, all the abuse eventually became too much for his mother, who couldn't even bear to look at his left hand side because it reminded her of his father.

**Boomstick:** So she gave him a Zuko burn. Sheesh, she tried to encourage him to be a hero, and she still does that to him? What the hell is wrong with this family?

**Wiz:** All this abuse did was make Todoroki cold, to the point where he wouldn't even use his father's inherited fire Quirk, choosing to only use his mother's ice Quirk out of spite.

**Boomstick:** Until some loser in green convinced him to make his Quirk his own by continually breaking his bones in front of him. Damn dude, there are better ways to protest, surely.

**Wiz:** Can't argue with results though, because now Todoroki has started using his fire powers more regularly than just to undo his ice powers.

**Boomstick:** Speaking of his Quirk, look at how powerful it is! He froze half a stadium just to take out one guy, and that guy doesn't even have a particularly powerful Quirk.

**Wiz:** On the other hand, his fire abilities are hot enough that they can nearly melt Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu, yes that is his real name, whose body can be turned into pure steel.

**Boomstick:** However, he can't just throw fire and ice out of wherever he wants. His fire can only come out of his left, and his ice is stored in the right. Wait, is that why his hair is colour coded?

**Wiz:** Probably. Todoroki will primarily use his Quirk to fight, but does have some level of hand-to-hand skills for when the enemy gets too close.

**Boomstick:** Like they ever could. Todoroki generally blasts a huge ice wall in front of the enemy to prevent them from attacking him, or throws fireballs because, let's face it, would you want to get close to someone throwing fireballs at you?

**Wiz:** However, Todoroki isn't without his weaknesses. If he overuses his ice or his fire without using the other, his body will either succumb to frostbite or overheating, so he has to keep alternating between the two.

**Boomstick:** Not to mention the fact that he's still very much a human, so anything that would kill a normal human is probably going to kill him. Still he's such a badass that he took on the Hero Killer Stain, only thinking about saving his friends and not the extreme danger he was in.

**Wiz:** Which is kind of another weakness: Todoroki's so powerful that he sometimes disregards his own safety due to his arrogance.

**Boomstick:** Him? Arrogant? Have you met Bakugo?

**Wiz:** What I mean is that Todoroki is so confident in his own abilities that his own safety and common sense sometimes don't cross his mind, especially if he's protecting people. One of the biggest examples is when he puts a personal grudge ahead of saving people in a training exercise, costing him a provisional hero licence.

**Boomstick:** Probably the least problematic of his weaknesses is that he can't switch between ice and fire as fast as he'd like to, though he's definitely working on it.

**Wiz:** And as his equipment, we better not forget his costume, which contains a combat jacket and wrist guards to help regulate his body temperature, and a utility belt that makes up a small first aid kit. He also wears a pair of snow boots to prevent himself from slipping on his own ice.

**Boomstick:** Still, with such a badass arsenal at his disposal, Todoroki's icy hot power is difficult to beat.

**Todoroki:** If you wanna stop this, then stand up! Because I've just got one thing to say to you! Never forget who you want to become!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

The scene opens on a stadium, where loud cheering can be heard. "WHOA! The combatants in this tournament really know how to keep things AWESOME!" yelled Present Mic into his microphone. "Wouldn't you agree, co-commentator Eraserhead?"

"How do you keep convincing me to join you for these things?" asked Eraserhead. "Also, I've never even heard of some of these schools in this tournament. Who even are they?"

"Who cares?" yelled Present Mic. "They're keeping this tournament ELECTRIC! Though maybe not these next two, since one of them is our students who can keep things cool AND smoking at the same time."

"Shoto Todoroki, if you could enter the arena please?" asked Eraserhead. "The sooner you do, the sooner I can get away from him."

Down in the stands of the arena, many of the members of Class 1-A were cheering as Todoroki entered the arena.

"You can do it Todoroki," yelled Midoriya.

"Bah, that loser better win," said Bakugo. "I want the pleasure of kicking his ass myself."

"Hush Bakugo, your negativity isn't welcome here," said Iida.

"AND NOW, for his opponent," said Present Mic. "Miss Weiss Schnee, please enter the arena."

"And don't take too long," said Erasherhead. "He's really annoying."

Meanwhile in the stands, the rest of Team RWBY were cheering on Weiss as she entered the arena.

"You can do it Weiss," called Blake.

"Take him down, BFF!" yelled Ruby.

"I can't believe you guys got to fight people on your way into the arena," said Yang, crossing her arms over her chest. "This sucks."

Meanwhile, down in the arena, the two combatants were sizing each other up.

"A pleasure to meet you," said Weiss politely as she drew her sword. "Sorry if I end up crushing you."

Todoroki stared at her, completely unamused. "You need a weapon to fight someone?" he asked. "Fine, I'll defeat you with my bare hands."

"Alright combatants, are you ready?" hollered Present Mic from the commentator's booth. "**FIGHT!**"

Without wasting a second, Todoroki raised his right hand and created a huge ice burg, freezing a large section of the arena. "Did I overdo it again?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Weiss, who had moved to her right the second the fight had begun and was making a charge at Todoroki. Todoroki responded by throwing a fireball at Weiss. Weiss changed her weapon's cartridge to the wind slot as she let out a gust of air, redirecting the projectile into the sky.

Weiss brought her weapon back in an attempt to strike, as Todoroki made an ice wall in front of himself. Weiss realised a second too late that's what he was doing, and tried to pull back…

…only for the blade of her weapon to get stuck in the wall of ice he created. "Come on, come on," said Weiss, trying to pull it loose. Weiss then had an idea of how to free her weapon, and started changing the element on her weapon.

"Oh no, you can fight me with your own strength, without the weapon," said Todoroki, punching her away from her sword. Weiss rolled as she landed, and narrowly jumped out of the way of another fireball. "Not so tough without your weapon, are you?"

"That's what you think," said Weiss, conjuring a bunch of glyphs around him. As Todoroki was looking around at them, Weiss darted forward, kicking and punching Todoroki as she went past him.

As Todoroki recovered from the sudden rapid attacks, he noticed a white boar coming out of the ground. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," said Todoroki, as the Boarbatusk began to charge. The Grimm curled into a ball and hit the young hero fairly hard. However, Todoroki had been preparing for the moment of impact, and had an icicle ready. Todoroki stabbed the beast, which immediately faded away. "Where are you?" demanded Todoroki.

"Here," said Weiss, standing next to her weapon and clicking a button on it. The fire cartridge clicked into place, and the ice trapping it melted away. "Now, where were we?"

Todoroki glared at her, then made a wall of ice between them. Todoroki then pointed his left side at the wall, ready for whichever way she came. "Come on, make a move," he said, keeping himself ready. "Wait, what's that sound?" A loud stomping sound was heard, and suddenly his ice wall was shattered, revealing a huge suit of armour. "Really? You can't fight me yourself?" snapped Todoroki, as the Arma Gigas brought its fist down where Todoroki was just standing. As he was dodging, Todoroki noticed Weiss on her knees, as though she was tired. "Interesting…" he said, dodging a swing from Arma Gigas's sword.

"You should never underestimate a Schnee," said Weiss, standing up again. "We're full of surprises."

"And so am I," said Todoroki, making a huge wall of ice behind him, then blasting his fireballs at it, and at some of his other ice, creating a huge cloud of steam to cover the area.

"Really? Freezer Burn?" asked Weiss, keeping her sword ready in case of a surprise attack. However, Todoroki was keeping quiet. Suddenly, a fireball came out of the steam and struck Arma Gigas in the head. While the giant suit of armour was off-balance, a spike of ice came out of the ground, impaling the summon, followed by several more until the Arma Gigas disappeared. "I saw that," said Weiss. "I also noticed you only use fire and ice from one side each, and that you like your ice more than fire…" As she was saying this, Weiss was making her way to Todoroki's left-hand side.

"I also noticed that you're running out of stamina," said Todoroki, trying to see through his fog, and figuring that she was going to attack from his left. "Bringing in that big guy took a lot out of you, didn't it?"

"I've still got another trick up my sleeve," said Weiss, Todoroki now in sight. Weiss started switching her weapon's current Dust cartridge for another one.

Todoroki's ears pricked up as he heard the clicking of Weiss's weapon cycling through the different types of Dust. He turned to see her shadow through the mist, and threw a huge fireball that way…

…only for the image to suddenly melt away, revealing an ice copy that had only roughly looked like her. "What?!" demanded Todoroki, as a buzzing noise filled the air. Todoroki looked up just in time to see the stinger of a giant wasp catch him in the arm.

"Never assume I'm beaten," said Weiss, riding on the back of the Queen Lancer. "It'll cost you."

"You should do the same," said Todoroki through gritted teeth. Todoroki lifted his right arm, and dozens of icicles shot out of the ground, impaling the summon and catching Weiss offguard, depleting her Aura. Weiss fell to the ground hard, and struggled back to her feet…

…only to see Todoroki's blood covered left arm punching her through the chest, his fist on fire. Weiss let out a surprised gasp, then fell over, dead. "Sweet dreams, Ice Queen," said Todoroki.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Well, that was cold.

**Wiz:** Weiss had the speed advantage, and her Aura made her more durable than most people that Todoroki has fought. However, that's pretty much all she had an advantage in.

**Boomstick:** Weiss could probably have stabbed Todoroki and ended the battle very quickly, but keep in mind, Todoroki's first response to a fight starting in the Sports Festival was to freeze half the stadium. Weiss would definitely see how powerful he is and fight more cautiously after seeing power like that.

**Wiz:** And that show of power is what gave Todoroki the edge. While his Quirk and his overall stamina and endurance are limited, the fact that he did something like that without breaking a sweat means that these traits are a lot higher than anything Weiss has ever shown.

**Boomstick:** Even her summons weren't anything Todoroki would be put off by. He's faced giant robots without even hesitating to blast them. He was never gonna be scared of Weiss's summons once he figured out how to take them down.

**Wiz:** In the end, Todoroki's raw power was too much for Weiss to overcome.

**Boomstick:** Todoroki was too hot for Weiss to handle.

**Wiz:** The winner is Shoto Todoroki.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"If we're discussing the Secret Formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside, after we gargle vanilla pudding, what do we do?"

"Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a big family? Well, don't let the picture fool you! It's not all sugar and spice."


	17. SpongeBob SquarePants vs Lincoln Loud

Episode 17: SpongeBob SquarePants vs Lincoln Loud

**Author's note: SpongeBob SquarePants and Loud House spoilers, I guess. I mean, if you've made it this far into the fic you probably already knew that, but if you're only just getting to this now, where the hell have you been?**

_Death Battle intro starts._

**Wiz:** In late 1977, a company was formed named Nickelodeon, and since then, they have been consistently bringing out many extremely popular shows for children across the world, both animated and live-action.

**Boomstick:** And what better way to show our thanks for a great childhood than by making two of their characters kill each other in a horrifically bloody battle…that you won't be able to see because this fanfic is text only.

**Wiz:** SpongeBob SquarePants, Bikini Bottom's absorbent yellow porous resident.

**Boomstick:** And Lincoln Loud, the only son of the Loud House. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Are you ready Wiz?

**Wiz:** …I guess?

**Boomstick:** I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

**Wiz:** …I mean, I'm in the studio ready to record for today's episode, so…

**Boomstick:** Damn it man, I'm doing a bit.

**Wiz:** I know, but messing with you is much more fun.

**Boomstick:** UGH! Anyway, living in a pineapple under the sea is one of the most iconic cartoon characters of all time: SpongeBob SquarePants. He's absorbent, he's ye…

**Wiz:** We already used that line in the intro. Now stop with this nautical nonsense.

**Boomstick:** Screw you Wiz *punches Wiz, knocking him to the floor* HA! Look at him down there, flopping like a fish.

**Wiz:** *standing back up* Anyway, SpongeBob is one of Bikini Bottom's most notable residents, since most of the other citizens are some kind of fish. He works as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab, a fast food restaurant run by Eugene Krabs, and lives next door to Squidward Tentacles, who is constantly annoyed by SpongeBob and his best friend Patrick Star's antics.

**Boomstick:** It probably doesn't help that he lives right between the two of them.

**Wiz:** And that's…pretty much all there is to know about SpongeBob's backstory. So, let's move right on to powers.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, like the fact that he's a freaking sponge. Like, literally.

**Wiz:** SpongeBob has been shown to be able to absorb a lot of water, and expel it from his body whenever he needs to. He must be capable of doing this at will, since he lives underwater and isn't constantly inflating.

**Boomstick:** That's not the only way he's absorbent. Since he is a sponge, he can often get attacked and not feel a thing.

**Wiz:** He has some insane regeneration abilities too. He can regenerate missing body parts at will, or even just reattach them like it was nothing. What's more is that body part removal doesn't seem to hurt him.

**Boomstick:** And his soft body makes him capable of some level of shapeshifting, again with apparently no ill effects to him.

**Wiz:** He's also very skilled at karate, able to keep up with Sandy at it.

**Boomstick:** Why there's a damn squirrel under the water is beyond me.

**Wiz:** Honestly, SpongeBob is capable of so many feats that almost make it feel like he can defy physics itself. Obviously that must be impossible, since physics basically define the laws of the universe, but SpongeBob sometimes seem like he can.

**Boomstick:** His stamina is through the roof too, like how he once worked forty three days straight. How does someone even work for a month and a half without a break?

**Wiz:** Perhaps his most impressive feat, however, might be his speed.

**Boomstick:** Huh, wasn't aware SpongeBob could be considered a speedster, though I guess he can prepare a Krabby Patty pretty quick.

**Wiz:** He can do that, but I'm referring to the time he filled in as superhero The Quickster. As The Quickster, SpongeBob was able to run to a nearby mountain and back without anyone noticing that he'd left. He even offered to do it again, and showed no noticeable signs of fatigue.

**Boomstick:** However, he doesn't seem to be able to do this unless he's wearing the costume, which means the power is probably limited to when he's suited up. Still, not a bad power to have.

**Wiz:** Still, SpongeBob isn't without his weaknesses…

**Boomstick:** He definitely doesn't sound like he has any.

**Wiz:** …his most notable being that he's a sponge.

**Boomstick:** Err, Wiz? We just established that that's what makes him practically invulnerable.

**Wiz:** Underwater it might. Put him on dry land, however, and SpongeBob will dry out fairly quickly. This has nearly been the death of him so many times, including the first time he visited Sandy, and in the first movie.

**Boomstick:** He's also not known for taking things very seriously. At least at first.

**Wiz:** Another weakness he has is…well, weakness.

**Boomstick:** I mean, he has a freaking barbell with stuffed animals on it instead of weights, and he STILL struggles to lift it.

**Wiz:** And as The Quickster, he can run fast enough to create a rut in the road deep enough to trap himself.

**Boomstick:** Or if he overuses it, he'll end up as just a pair of shoes.

**Wiz:** Still, when trouble arises, SpongeBob has shown time and again that he is ready for it.

**SpongeBob:** Life is as extreme as you wanna make it.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Ever wonder what's it's like to have a big family?

**Boomstick:** I just want to know what it's like to have a family.

**Wiz:** Oh…uh…how about one where you have ten sisters?

**Boomstick:** HOLY CRAP! That man needs to get off his wife every once in a while.

**Wiz:** That's what life is like for eleven year old Lincoln Loud.

**Boomstick:** Damn, that is, like, massively one-sided for the kid.

**Wiz:** Lincoln was born in the president's limousine, and delivered by the first lady after the president fainted…

**Boomstick:** Wait, which president was it?

**Wiz:** Doesn't say. Though the show debuted in 2016, so eleven years before that would be 2005, meaning…George W. Bush?

**Boomstick:** Yep, I can see that.

**Wiz:** Anyway, Lincoln has had a relatively normal upbringing despite the enormity of his family, especially being so heavily outnumbered by girls in the house.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, that brings up a good question: if he's just a normal fifth grade kid, and SpongeBob's unable to do anything out of the water, how the hell are we going to do anything with this battle?

**Wiz:** We've got something planned. Let's move on to what he can do, shall we?

**Boomstick:** Yeah, like breaking the fourth…

**Deadpool:** Did somebody say…

**Boomstick:** GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE WADE!

**Deadpool:** Fine, whatever, I'll see you guys for my season 2 cameo.

**Boomstick:** We have got to get better security for this building.

**Wiz:** …anyway, Lincoln has the ability to break the fourth wall, but only to address the audience, so it hardly counts for anything.

**Boomstick:** And beyond that, he's got…practically nothing. Seriously, what are we even doing right now?

**Wiz:** Don't count him out just yet. He has shown to be above average in terms of strength and intelligence for an eleven year old, and also surprisingly good at stealth.

**Boomstick:** And since we did it for SpongeBob, I guess we can use it for Lincoln too: he has a superhero he can become.

**Wiz:** Well, technically, yes. Lincoln has occasionally dressed as superhero Ace Savvy, though the real Ace Savvy's name of Spade Nifty.

**Boomstick:** Ace's powers, however, include his hand-to-hand combat, detective skills, flight, super-strength, and the ability to summon allies through his playing cards.

**Wiz:** …which isn't allowed because this is a one-on-one fight. On top of which, Lincoln himself can't do any of those things, he just pretends he can when wearing the costume.

**Boomstick:** One of the downsides of being a normal eleven year old kid.

**Wiz:** As you've mentioned a few times at this point. He's naïve and not really a fighter, though will step up if one of his sisters is in trouble, even if he has no idea what to do.

**Boomstick:** Not a good look for someone who calls himself the Man with the Plan.

**Wiz:** Still, most things tend to work out in the end for Lincoln Loud, and maybe this battle will too.

**Lincoln:** Like I said, I might not be the fastest, and I might not be the strongest, but to get all of my sisters out of the way, it pays to have a plan.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

"…and this severe weather is likely to continue all through the night," said the weatherman on the TV. "So stay indoors, since it's going to be VERY wet out there."

"Thanks for that update," said the news anchor. "And good night."

"Well, you heard the man," said Lori. "Don't go outside, any of you."

"It looks beautiful out there," said Lucy.

"Like, I don't want to get my hair wet," said Leni.

Lincoln got up off the couch and looked at the camera. "Ah, stormy days," he said, addressing the audience. "In the Loud House, everyone has a different reaction to them. Just as long as no-one freaks out about…"

"AHHHH!" screamed Lola. "There's something out there."

Lincoln sighed. "As long as that doesn't happen," he said.

"Come on Lola, there's nothing out there," said Lynn, putting her arm around her.

"Except heaps of mud," said Lana. "Are you sure we can't go out there?"

"No, seriously, there's something out there," said Lola, as a crack of lightning flashed outside the window, illuminating something square shaped. "AHHH! See?"

"Relax Lola," said Lincoln. "It's probably just a box or something that was blown there by the wind."

"All in favour of making Lincoln going outside to check?" asked Luna, which was followed by all ten girls raising their hands. "I think we have a decision."

"I didn't volunteer for this," said Lincoln.

"Yeah, you were boxed into it," said Luan, which was met with groans from the others.

"If your hypothesis is correct, you should be able to check and be back in about 3.6 seconds," said Lisa.

Lincoln sighed, when he suddenly smelled something. "Okay, fine," he said. "I'll deal with the box, while one of you deals with Lily's dirty diaper." Before anyone could object, Lincoln bolted out the door.

Lincoln walked around to the side of the house to where Lola had seen the box, and stopped where he was. "What the…" he said, seeing the box also had arms, legs, and a face, and was wearing clothes. "What…the heck are you?"

The box turned to look at him. "Hi, I'm SpongeBob," said the box. "The bad weather washed me up here."

"Yeah? Well, listen," said Lincoln. "You need to go. You're scaring my sisters."

"But I just got here," said SpongeBob.

"That doesn't mean you're welcome," said Lincoln. "Get lost."

"But I'm a sea creature on land. I'm already lost," said SpongeBob.

"If you won't leave by choice, then I'll have to make you leave by force," said Lincoln, squaring up to fight.

**FIGHT!**

Lincoln ran straight at SpongeBob and started punching him, only to realise that SpongeBob has no reaction to it whatsoever. "Umm, what are you doing?" asked SpongeBob.

"Trying. To. Beat. You. Up," said Lincoln between punches.

"Oh, why didn't you say so?" asked SpongeBob, who started punching Lincoln back. However, his punches weren't any more effective than Lincoln's. After a while, Lincoln jumped back, realising he wasn't getting anywhere. "Man, you're pretty good," said SpongeBob.

"Oh, ah, thanks?" said Lincoln, confused. "I'm still going to get rid of you."

"How?" asked SpongeBob.

"Like this," said Lincoln, picking up SpongeBob and pulling both halves until he tore him in half. "Huh, that was easy."

"What was easy?" asked SpongeBob, his two halves popping back together. "Hey, you were trying to hurt me, weren't you?"

"Um, well…" said Lincoln, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, if that's how you're gonna play," said SpongeBob. "I should warn you, I'm a master of kar-ar-tay."

"…ah, what?" asked Lincoln, as SpongeBob karate chopped Lincoln in the chest. SpongeBob continued his assault on Lincoln, eventually knocking him across the yard. Lincoln looked up at SpongeBob, who seemed to be getting larger.

"Oh, hold on," said SpongeBob, who started squeezing himself. A large wave of water flowed out of SpongeBob and washed Lincoln away into the fence.

Lincoln, drenched from head to toe and lying upside down against the fence, looked into the camera. "Okay, I know what you're thinking," he said. "'Lincoln, you're the man with the plan. What's the plan?' The truth is, how do I make a plan against a literal sponge? It's not like I can suddenly make him dry…" Suddenly Lincoln's eyes lit up. "Or is there?"

"Is there what?" asked SpongeBob, suddenly next to Lincoln.

"Err…is there any way to escape this horrible sponge monster?" said Lincoln in an unconvincing tone. At this, SpongeBob laughed. "Man, that's gonna get annoying," muttered Lincoln.

"You can't escape," said SpongeBob. "Not when I become…" SpongeBob spun around quickly, and was suddenly wearing a white superhero costume with a red lightning bolt on it. "…The Quickster."

"…right…" said Lincoln, as SpongeBob suddenly grabbed Lincoln and spun around in a circle extremely fast, before letting him go and letting him fly through a small circular window.

"You can't escape The Quickster that easily," said SpongeBob, running up the side of the house and through the window. "Okay, where are you?" As he asked this, the lights in the room went out.

"You're a fool, Quickster," said a voice from the darkness. "You've now entered the base of Ace Savvy."

"Ace Savvy?" asked SpongeBob, looking around as he saw something run past him in the darkness.

"That's right, Ace Savvy, the world's savviest crime fighter," said Lincoln, illuminating himself against the window. "And with my excellent detective skills, I've discovered your weakness."

"You know that if I run in circles I can create a ditch I can't get out of?" asked SpongeBob.

"Err…no," said Lincoln. "Your other weakness. The one you've probably started to notice affecting you."

"What do you…oh…" said SpongeBob, starting to notice the lack of water around him. "That's okay, I'll just…"

"No you won't," said Lincoln, tackling SpongeBob out of his room and into the hallway, kicking the door closed as he went. "Once you dry out, you're finished, right?"

"You wouldn't…" started SpongeBob.

"Wouldn't I?" asked Lincoln, grabbing a lamp from one of his sister's rooms and turning it on, holding it against SpongeBob's face. "This should speed things up."

"…uh…oh…"wheezed SpongeBob, as the heat from the lamp drained the last of the moisture from his body.

"Well, that takes care of that," said Lincoln, putting the lamp back and going downstairs.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** Ouch, my childhood. Definitely didn't see that coming though.

**Wiz:** Honestly, you should have. This battle is all about the circumstances of the fight, specifically where it takes place. If this battle had taken place underwater, there's no doubt Lincoln would have been killed, since he's just a regular kid who needs air to live. However, since this battle took place on land, it was only a matter of time before Lincoln figured out SpongeBob was vulnerable out of the water.

**Boomstick:** Lincoln's no dummy, he's routinely able to figure out creative solutions for dealing with his ten sisters. SpongeBob, however, doesn't tend to take anything seriously until it's already a major issue, giving Lincoln an advantage in terms of getting ready.

**Wiz:** Even SpongeBob's speed advantage while in The Quickster's outfit would only hold out for so long on land, since his increased speed would ultimately warm him up and therefore dry him out quicker.

**Boomstick:** Neither held any real advantage except for where the battle was held, so once that was determined, it was only a matter of time before one was killed.

**Wiz:** In the end, Lincoln's ability to plan on the spot and just the fact that he's a land mammal were all that was needed to win this battle.

**Boomstick:** I don't think the kids were ready for this.

**Wiz:** The winner is Lincoln Loud.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"If you want the Mischief Star back, you must name me the Superstar!"

"I think my eyes are broken! Oh, wait, no, they're just closed."


	18. Waluigi vs Big the Cat

Episode 18: Waluigi vs Big the Cat

**Author's note: Spoilers for Mario and Sonic games. Just, in general, not any specifically.**

_Death Battle intro start playing._

**Wiz:** Once upon a time, the colour purple signified royalty, simply because it was too hard to make purple dye.

**Boomstick:** Then everyone started to be able to get their hands on it, like today's combatants.

**Wiz:** Waluigi, Wario's friend and Luigi's rival from the Mario games.

**Boomstick:** And Big the Cat, a cat who's really big from the Sonic the Hedgehog games. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Okay, I know how this works. First we talk about the character's backstory, then we get into all their skills and powers and all that. So Wiz, what is Waluigi's backstory?

**Wiz:** Well Boomstick, that's just it. There is no backstory for Waluigi.

**Boomstick:** What? What do you mean? I mean, it's not like he just decided to turn up one day to interrupt the Mario gang's tennis match or something, and has been a villain ever since, right?

**Wiz:** Actually…

**Boomstick:** ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THAT'S his backstory?

**Wiz:** Yeah, Waluigi isn't the most developed character Nintendo has ever come up with.

**Boomstick:** That's a massive understatement. Why do people want him in Smash so bad?

**Wiz:** Well, Waluigi isn't without his appeal. I mean, despite only appearing in the spin-off games like Mario Party and the various sports games, Waluigi has gained a sizeable fanbase. He's a sneaky man, and will cheat any way he can, using all his cunning to hide the fact that he is cheating.

**Boomstick:** And with limbs that long, it's no wonder he's good at sports. Seriously, he could hit the ball back from anywhere on the court with those things.

**Wiz:** And that's not all. All this sporting activity has made Waluigi incredibly strong. In fact, in Mario Party 3, Waluigi easily defeats Bowser in a fist fight, and doesn't seem to break a sweat.

**Boomstick:** What's so great about that? Bowser gets beat up by a plumber every other week.

**Wiz:** Did you forget that Bowser has survived a supernova? And can throw a castle? And yet, a simple fist fight with Waluigi put him down.

**Boomstick:** …okay, I'm sort of impressed now.

**Wiz:** Waluigi isn't just strong, he's cunning, he's mischievous, and he's capable of some truly…strange actions.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, like the ability to swim in mid-air. I mean, how the hell do you even do that?

**Wiz:** He can also spin around in a circle to create small tornadoes, and he can create thorny vines which can act as a wall, or be used as a whip.

**Boomstick:** And he can teleport in a puff of purple smoke, and can use some kind of magic to disguise an eggplant as a baseball. It makes about as much sense in context.

**Wiz:** In terms of weapons, Waluigi prefers Bob-ombs, but has also used Piranha Plants, as well as a coin vacuum to rob his opponents.

**Boomstick:** Is that supposed to be his version of Luigi's ghost vacuum?

**Wiz:** …probably not. Anyway, Waluigi certainly has a unique arsenal of abilities, especially considering his status as a spin-off game character. But he still has his weaknesses.

**Boomstick:** Like what? He's sounding pretty well balanced between weirdo and tough guy to me.

**Wiz:** He may have that, but he's also pretty arrogant and cocky, a trait that often makes him overlook what his opponents are capable of.

**Boomstick:** So, like basically every comic relief villain ever?

**Wiz:** Pretty much, yeah.

**Boomstick:** Still, whenever you need a sneaky bastard on your side, Waluigi's your guy.

**Waluigi:** I'M NUMBER ONE! Heh, hehehehe! Look, I'ma dance, I'ma Sing, I'ma so Happy! HA, hahahahaha!...Heh? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Okay, so Waluigi didn't have a backstory, so does that mean his opponent has an extra-long one?

**Wiz:** Err…

**Boomstick:** You've gotta be kidding me.

**Wiz:** I mean, it's not that Big the Cat has no backstory whatsoever, but there's not exactly a lot there.

**Boomstick:** Okay, let's see what we've got here: he had the yellow Chaos Emerald, which he believed was his lucky charm, until his pet frog ate it, and one of Eggman's robots kidnaps it. Wow, that's basically just a lamer version of John Wick's backstory. Except how did he get one of the most powerful items in existence and why did he assume it was just a regular rock he could use as a lucky charm?

**Wiz:** Maybe it doesn't give off any energy to signify that it's so powerful?

**Boomstick:** Are you kidding? I've seen the MCU, I know things of that level of power will seriously mess you up.

**Wiz:** Well, anyway, Big's involvement in Sonic's adventures is pretty much limited to finding and protecting Froggy. However, he is one of Sonic's strongest allies, and will always step up to help if needed.

**Boomstick:** Seriously, Big is incredibly strong. He can lift cars and boulders with little effort, break rocks and metal with ease, and can even punch things so hard they catch fire.

**Wiz:** Due to his size, however, Big's not as quick as many of the other characters in his universe. He's by no means slow, but everyone else is faster. However, he's agile enough that he can grind poles and rails.

**Boomstick:** Grinding poles? Dear God, he's not a…

**Wiz:** Jesus Christ no. That's just…no. Don't even want to think about that.

**Boomstick:** And his sheer bulk is nothing to laugh at either. Sure, you can make fun of him for being fat if you want, but that fat actually acts as a barrier to stop him getting hurt, or at the very least making attacks not do as much damage.

**Wiz:** He's also tough enough to be unharmed by things like toxic gas and freezing waters. Why a cat is anywhere near water is beyond me, but whatever.

**Boomstick:** You think that's weird? He can actually swim. That's right, the guy who's based on an animal that's famous for hating water can swim, but the main hero of the game can't. Get that through your heads.

**Wiz:** And like most cats, Big is a very capable climber, able to get to high places that would otherwise be difficult to get to.

**Boomstick:** But his main weapon is…a fishing rod. Wait, really?

**Wiz:** Like I said earlier, Big generally only appears to find and protect Froggy. And to get Froggy back, Big often uses his fishing rod.

**Boomstick:** Wow…well, I guess having a hook on the end can make it hurt a lot. And swinging it around the environment can cause a fair bit of damage.

**Wiz:** His fishing rod is also equipped with an umbrella which Big can use to traverse the landscape similar to Mary Poppins.

**Boomstick:** And if he feels like hurting you without his weapon, he's big enough to body slam you. That's gonna hurt you a lot. So, there's not a lot you can do to beat this guy.

**Wiz:** Except…

**Boomstick:** Here it comes…

**Wiz:** Big is…not that smart. He pretty much defines brawn over brains. He's also pretty laidback and carefree, rarely being the centre of conflict unless it comes to him first, leaving him to be not a great fighter.

**Boomstick:** Still, if you need a big bare-chested bruiser on your side, Big the Cat is a powerhouse you'll want to fight alongside.

**Big:** Froggy! Where are yooou?

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

Big the Cat was asleep in a hammock, Froggy bouncing around nearby, when a mysterious moustached figure wearing purple approached. "WAA! What's this?" asked Waluigi, looking at the interesting yellow gem sitting on the ground nearby. Waluigi went to pick it up, when Froggy's tongue shot out to grab it. "WAA? Hey, let go," said Waluigi, trying to shake Froggy off. However, the frog refused to let go. "Well, you asked for it."

All the commotion caused Big the Cat to stir from his sleep, just as Waluigi raised his foot, and crushed Froggy underneath. "FROGGY!" screamed Big the Cat, making Waluigi look up at who spoke. Waluigi turned in time to see Big the Cat charging at him. "I'll make you pay for that."

**FIGHT!**

Big the Cat tackled Waluigi to the ground and started pummelling him as hard as possible, before Waluigi pushed the cat off him. "Bad kitty," said Waluigi, kicking Big away from him. Waluigi then ran after Big and used his long arms to pull him out of the air, and slam him headfirst into the ground.

Big responded to this by kicking upwards with his feet and knocking Waluigi down, before grabbing his fishing rod. Waluigi rolled out of the way, only for Big to hook him with the rod, and swing him around from the back of his overalls.

While Waluigi was in the air, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a Bob-omb, and threw it at the large cat, followed by another and another, all of which turned their attention to Big and began exploding. "WAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Waluigi as he landed on the ground. "I am the win…WAH?!" Out of the smoke, Big emerged, seemingly unharmed by the large blasts.

"Hehe, that sort of tickled," said Big. "Were you trying to hurt me?"

Waluigi growled, and pulled a Piranha Plant out of his pocket, planting it next to Big. The Piranha Plant opened its mouth wide and swallowed Big whole. "Yeah, I win," cheered Waluigi, as the Piranha Plant started shaking wildly. "Uh oh…" Big burst from the plant, still none the worse for wear.

"You're not good at this, are you?" asked Big. "Let me show you how it's done." Big took a couple of steps of a run up, before jumping in the air and body slamming Waluigi into the ground. As Big got off of him, Waluigi looked dazed, with Paragoombas flying around his head. Waluigi shook them away, just as Big kicked him in the head, sending him flying.

Waluigi used his momentum in the air to start spinning in a circle, until a small tornado started up. Big braced himself as he got sucked into the vortex, and prepared his fishing rod, as Waluigi swam through the air towards him. Waluigi let the momentum of the tornado carry him towards Big the Cat, so he could easily punch him out of the tornado. Big fell towards the ground fast, before changing his fishing rod into its umbrella form to slow his descent.

Waluigi swam out of the tornado, before allowing himself to drop directly on top of Big's umbrella. The two of them crashed into the ground hard, rolling away from one another before standing up again. Big swung his fishing rod at Waluigi hard, catching him on the hook and crashing him through anything that happened to be in the way.

Waluigi dislodged himself, as Big threw his line again. However, this time Waluigi was waiting for it, and started running, dropping a thick wall of thorny vines behind him. "WAHAHA! Now what will you do?" asked Waluigi. In response, Big burst through the wall he'd just made, again seemingly unharmed. "Oh…" said Waluigi, as Big caught him on his fishing rod again, swinging him into the air again and slamming him into the ground.

"This is for Froggy," said Big, jumping into the air and slamming down on top of Waluigi, bursting him apart from the force of his landing. Big rose back to his feet, now covered in the blood of his enemy.

"RIBBIT!" came a noise from next to him.

"FROGGY! You're alive," said Big, picking up his friend and carrying him back to his hammock.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** And after all that, his friend wasn't even dead. Poor Waluigi.

**Wiz:** Both combatants possessed some extraordinary physical traits. However, while Waluigi might have been stronger than Big physically, Big's toughness was much more than Waluigi could handle.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, all the strength in the world doesn't mean shit when your opponent is able to tank all your attacks and hardly feel anything. Hell, Big can burst through energy barriers and be fine. Did you really think thorns would be a problem?

**Wiz:** And his fishing rod meant he had much more range to attack from than Waluigi, so it wasn't exactly a stretch to assume Big could keep him at a distance to attack from there too.

**Boomstick:** Waluigi may have been able to beat up Bowser with ease, but Bowser, despite being a freaking turtle with a thick shell, feels pain when attacked. That just wasn't going to happen with Big.

**Wiz:** It may be only one feat, but Big's sheer toughness and bulk were too much for Waluigi to handle.

**Boomstick:** This job was too Big for Waluigi to handle.

**Wiz:** The winner is Big the Cat.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time on Death Battle…

"I will fight for the place where I'm free! To live together and exist as me!"

"And now for our mission... Destroying you for rejecting US! From now on, we're poison to Peter Parker and Spider-Man..."


	19. Garnet vs Venom

Episode 19: Garnet vs Venom

**Author's note: Steven Universe and The Spectacular Spider-Man spoilers ahead. To be clear, this is the cartoon from 2008 and 2009 for Venom. So…that's the version I'm using. We all good with this? Okay, let's do this.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Boomstick:** I love shooting things. But sometimes, I run out of ammo, and do you know what I like doing then?

**Wiz:** Getting drunk?

**Boomstick:** That, and punching things. And do you know who else punches things?

**Wiz:** Today's combatants?

**Boomstick:** Exactly.

**Wiz:** Worst segue ever. You didn't even talk about how they're both aliens who have fused with someone else to become what they are.

**Boomstick:** Look, it's the second last episode for this season. Just go with it, okay?

**Wiz:** *sigh* Garnet, leader of the Crystal Gems from Steven Universe.

**Boomstick:** And Venom, alien symbiote from The Spectacular Spider-Man. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Okay, after last episode's characters had nothing in the way of backstory, please tell me these guys do.

**Wiz:** Indeed they do. Over five thousand years ago, an alien race called the Gems wanted to colonise Earth. However, one of them named Rose Quartz decided that she didn't want that to happen, so she organised a rebellion to stop it.

**Boomstick:** Not to over-simplify it, but sometimes during this rebellion, a Gem named Ruby saved another Gem named Sapphire from being hurt, and in the process accidentally fused with her to become Garnet.

**Wiz:** Which was confusing to both of them, as Ruby had only ever fused with other Rubies, and Sapphire hadn't fused with anyone.

**Boomstick:** And this caused all of the court they were in to attempt to kill them, since two different types of Gems can't be together…what type of racist and/or homophobic bullshit is this?

**Wiz:** People were just like that back then unfortunately. Anyway, the two fled, and ended up fusing again, before meeting Rose Quartz and Pearl.

**Boomstick:** And Rose was, like, super cool about the whole forbidden fusion thing, and recruited her to the Crystal Gems, the rebellion that she was leading to protect Earth.

**Wiz:** And from that point on, Garnet worked with the Crystal Gems and helped contain Corrupted Gems, until Rose Quartz decided to give up her physical form to have a son, at which point Garnet became the leader of the group.

**Boomstick:** And she has everything she needs to do just that right there on her hands. Seriously, look at those gauntlets. Maybe we should have put her against Yang.

**Wiz:** I think we filled our RWBY quota for this season.

**Boomstick:** Damn, guess we'll have to wait for season 2 to see Yang punch all the things.

**Wiz:** Well, as a Gem, Garnet is faster, stronger, and more durable than a human, and as a fusion, is actually stronger than a lot of normal Gems, as shown by Amethyst hitting her with a baseball bat and not having any reaction.

**Boomstick:** Gems also have the ability to shapeshift, but anything that has more mass than they do is hard to keep for long.

**Wiz:** Gems do have the ability to regenerate, and can do so quickly if necessary, however speeding up regeneration can cause some serious problems, especially deformities.

**Boomstick:** So, how long does it take to regenerate safely?

**Wiz:** Usually a few weeks.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, I don't think she'll be doing that this time around.

**Wiz:** But her primary weapon, as Boomstick pointed out, is her gauntlets. Garnet is already highly skilled at hand-to-hand combat, and these gauntlets enhance her already immense physical strength, as well as allowing her to strike lightning quick multiple times. And after one regeneration, they gained retractable brass knuckles for extra damage.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, yeah, boring. Let's get to the part where they are also ROCKETS! For when you want to punch someone, but they're way on the other side of the room.

**Wiz:** The main problem with this is that her hands become detached from her body, and she has to regenerate them, which as discussed, takes time.

**Boomstick:** You had to spoil something awesome, didn't you?

**Wiz:** However, Garnet can increase the size and power of her gauntlet's striking by reducing her speed.

**Boomstick:** Wow, this list of powers keeps going, doesn't it? Apparently she can see the future too?

**Wiz:** She can, but it requires intense focus, so pretty much useless in a fight to the death. But what might come in handy is her heat-resistance, which is so strong she can swim in the core of the sun.

**Boomstick:** Uh huh. And how hot is that exactly?

**Wiz:** About twenty seven million degrees Fahrenheit, or fifteen million Celsius.

**Boomstick:** …yeah, that's pretty cool. Or whatever the opposite of that is.

**Wiz:** And finally, there's her electrokinesis, which allows her to generate electricity for attacking, and also makes her resistant to it.

**Boomstick:** With all that, she's sounds pretty damn powerful, and probably difficult to kill…

**Wiz:** However, even with all these abilities, it's still possible to kill a Gem.

**Boomstick:** There it is.

**Wiz:** Killing a Gem requires destroying that Gem's gemstone, which for Garnet is on each of her palms, except when she uses her rocket hands. Then they go to the stumps where her hands were.

**Boomstick:** Hey Wiz, since Gems are killed when their Gems are destroyed, and Garnet has two because she's a fusion, does that mean if you only destroy one that you only kill one of Ruby or Sapphire and undo the fusion?

**Wiz:** I don't know if that ever came up in the show, but I'd say it probably would, since each of Garnet's gemstones belong to Ruby and Sapphire.

**Boomstick:** Damn, and those two are like, lesbian lovers or something, so that would be like killing someone's wife right in front of them.

**Wiz:** Luckily, Garnet is pretty level-headed and calm in a fight, and often tough enough to hold her own until an opportunity presents itself to defeat an opponent.

**Garnet:** If you break us apart we'll just come back newer, and we'll always be twice the Gem that you are!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Eddie Brock was once a promising young man. A strong kid, working as a lab assistant to Dr. Connors, and best friends with long-time family friend Peter Parker.

**Boomstick:** But that relationship with Peter became a bit strained when Dr. Connors accidentally turned himself into a lizardman and Peter disappeared to get pictures of Spider-Man in action. Man, what a dick.

**Wiz:** Funnily enough, Eddie was about ready to forgive Peter for this, when another disaster struck. After an organic mud was brought to the Connor's lab for analysis, and subsequentially disappeared when Spider-Man was stopping a break-in, Eddie became infuriated when Peter once again got photos, but didn't call the police instead.

**Boomstick:** What's so great about a bit of mud? Even if it is from space, it's just wet dirt.

**Wiz:** Except this wasn't mud, it was an alien lifeform, that wasn't so much stolen by Spider-Man, but attached itself to his suit and made him super powerful.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, and then Spidey realised the sludge was making him do weird things, like taking out the Sinister Six while he was asleep, and was trying to convince him to be evil, so he got rid of it.

**Wiz:** And his timing and method for getting rid of it could NOT have been worse. Because earlier the same day, Eddie was fired from his job at the lab since they'd lost funding for losing the alien…

**Boomstick:** Wait, their lab gets robbed, and the government cuts their funding? How does that work?

**Wiz:** Who cares? Anyway, while Eddie was packing his stuff, Spider-Man comes back to the lab and returns the ooze, and immediately tries to kill it.

**Boomstick:** Damn Spidey, what the hell? I thought you opposed killing.

**Wiz:** He does. And in fact, he didn't even kill the alien. It survived Spider-Man attempting to kill it, and it sensed Eddie's hatred towards Peter Parker and Spider-Man. The alien proposed that the two work together to enact revenge, which Eddie was only too happy to agree to.

**Boomstick:** And while the sludge was engulfing Eddie, it told him something that was utterly shocking: Peter Parker is Spider-Man…yeah, I guess most people reading this already knew that, didn't they?

**Wiz:** The fusion of Eddie and the alien became known as Venom, and they had one goal: destroy Spider-Man.

**Boomstick:** And after all that build-up, he…gets taken down in one episode.

**Wiz:** He comes back, but that's really all the background we need for him. Let's get into his powers, shall we?

**Boomstick:** Definitely. Like the fact that anything Spider-Man can do, Venom can do better.

**Wiz:** Indeed. Venom's webbing is completely natural and won't run out, unlike Spider-Man's who has a finite supply of it. He can also climb on walls, and is super strong, durable, and agile.

**Boomstick:** Would the durability thing have anything to do with that fact that he's a freaking sludge monster?

**Wiz:** It would. While Eddie's body is still within the symbiote's body, it seems as though the symbiote has the ability to manipulate its body according to the situation, as seen when it turned its stomach into a mouth to respond to Spider-Man.

**Boomstick:** Well that's not horrifying at all.

**Wiz:** Venom has also gained something none of Spider-Man's other villains have got: the ability to negate Spidey's spider sense.

**Boomstick:** …which is completely pointless for this battle, so we can ignore it.

**Wiz:** Basically, Venom's time bonded to Spider-Man gave him a lot of insight into Peter Parker's mind and way of thinking, almost making Peter become a slave to his whim, so only someone with a strong will can resist Venom once he decides to bond with you.

**Boomstick:** Which of course makes him sound unbeatable, and then you'll correct me by saying how he can be beaten. Except you don't have to, because we already used him in a real Death Battle and I remember what he was weak to: sound and fire.

**Wiz:** That's right, Venom's species is weakened by loud sounds, and it tends to cause them extreme pain.

**Boomstick:** So don't invite him to a Metallica concert, he won't be much fun there.

**Wiz:** However, we should note that in The Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, which is the version we're using, it has never been confirmed that he is weak to fire.

**Boomstick:** Wait, what?

**Wiz:** Guess they just never got around to introducing it. It's possible they were hinting at it when it survived being frozen by Spider-Man, but we can't confirm it.

**Boomstick:** Good point. Anyway, Venom's also not the most mentally stable creature out there, being kind of arrogant and cocky when fighting Spidey and assuming that he'll win. Which he has done a few times. Hell, he even nearly unmasked him publicly.

**Wiz:** Still, no matter how many times Spider-Man brings down Venom, he'll always be one of his most terrifying villains.

**Venom:** Oh, you don't need to wear a mask with us, Pete! We know all your secrets - because, of course, we were you.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

It was about midnight in Beach City, when suddenly something started throwing cars around. The black creature known as Venom was the one causing all the commotion. "Come out, Petey," said the symbiote, throwing another car through a shop window. "Though this place doesn't look right. Like I'm in the wrong place…"

"That's enough of that," said someone behind the monster. Venom spun around and saw a strange red and pink woman. She didn't look quite human though, which was confusing, but then, Venom had seen plenty of weird people while he was with Peter.

"And who are you supposed to be?" hissed Venom, attention fully on the new arrival.

"I'm one of the protectors of this world," said Garnet, not reacting to Venom's threatening appearance. "You've got two options: stop destroying the city and leave, or I'll be forced to destroy you."

Venom laughed at this. "Do you really think you're a threat to me?" asked Venom, preparing itself. "I am the threat here." At this, Venom began charging at Garnet.

"They always choose the hard way," said Garnet, getting into a battle stance.

**FIGHT!**

Venom crashed into Garnet who threw the alien off of her with ease, before running straight at him and punching him in the jaw.

Venom bounced down the street, but got back on his feet easily enough. "Oh, you're going to be fun," he said, gleefully running back at Garnet.

"Are you some kind of glutton for punishment?" asked Garnet, sidestepping the creature giving him a swift kick to the back of the legs.

"You seems to think you can hurt me," taunted Venom, getting back up and firing a web at Garnet. The web caught Garnet's foot, who tried to move as Venom charged in. Unfortunately, she was stuck, and Venom punched her with enough force to send her flying.

"Physical violence doesn't seem to bother you, huh?" said Garnet, getting back up. "How about this?" Electricity started flowing out of her hands, and Garnet started running back at Venom. She struck him with one fist, then the other, before throwing a large ball of it at the monster.

"Well that was…shocking," said Venom, getting back up again. "You're going to be a delicious snack when I break you."

"What…are you?" asked Garnet, as Venom fired off webs at her and stuck her to the ground, as well as sticking her hands together. Garnet struggled for a moment, but couldn't get free as Venom began another charge. With no other option available to her, Garnet simply sighed and headbutted Venom when he got close enough.

"I like them feisty," said Venom, unfazed. He opened his mouth wide, preparing to take a bite out of Garnet.

"How about spicy?" asked Garnet, pulling her arms free and firing her rocket hands.

"Like 'em what?" asked Venom, as both Garnet's hands flew into his mouth and carried him off into the sky, before exploding with the symbiote in the sky.

"Well, that settles that," said Garnet, pulling her legs free while Venom fell to the ground. "Shouldn't be too hard to finish you off now."

"You…" said Venom, clearly in pain. "I hate you. I'm going to KILL YOU!"

"You keep saying that," said Garnet. "But so far you haven't done anything to…" Before she could finish, Venom grabbed one of her legs with one hand, and punched it with the other, breaking it off. "…what?"

"I told you," said Venom, clearly enraged. "I'm going to kill you." Venom pushed the one-legged Gem to the ground, before jumping on her remaining leg and breaking it off too.

"…no," said Garnet, as Venom smashed her head too.

Venom began gloating in victory, before noticing two gems at the ends of her arm stumps. "Hmm, these look important," he said, ripping them off her body. Without a second thought, he proceeded to crush them in his hands. "Whoops," he said, laughing maniacally as he left.

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** That ending, sheesh, that was dark.

**Wiz:** This fight was kind of interesting. Both combatants had a very specific weakness that wasn't immediately obvious, Venom with sound, and Garnet with her gems.

**Boomstick:** Unfortunately for Garnet, her weakness could be seen and destroyed, even if Venom had no idea that's what he was doing.

**Wiz:** Venom's weakness to sound isn't exactly something you're going to pick up on easily. Even if Garnet had figured it out, she didn't have any reliable method of exploiting it either.

**Boomstick:** Except when she uses her rocket fists, but once she blows her load with those, well…that's it. And Venom's definitely strong enough to take the pain of the sound of that, given that he managed to cling onto Peter for a while despite being right next to a ringing church bell.

**Wiz:** On top of that, Venom could manipulate his body much more if necessary, almost at a liquid state. Garnet just didn't have much that could do any permanent damage.

**Boomstick:** The victor of this fight was Crystal clear.

**Wiz:** The winner is Venom.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next time, on the season one finale of Death Battle…

"I am the senate!"

"Avada Kedavra!"


	20. Emperor Palpatine vs Lord Voldemort

Episode 20: Emperor Palpatine vs Lord Voldemort

**Author's note: Well, here we are guys, season 1 finale. Let's do this. Star Wars and Harry Potter spoilers ahead. Here goes nothing.**

_Death Battle intro plays._

**Wiz:** It's a sure sign of respect when people are willing to follow you. But how do you keep them following you no matter what?

**Boomstick:** Fear. Fear of the extreme amount of power you've got…wow, we've done a lot of fear based battles this season.

**Wiz:** Emperor Sheev Palpatine, also known as Darth Sidious, Sith Lord and leader of the Galactic Empire in Star Wars.

**Boomstick:** And Lord Voldemort, the most powerful dark wizard of all time from Harry Potter. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

**Wiz:** And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** There have been many powerful dictators throughout history: Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Benito Mussolini…

**Boomstick:** But none of them ruled the entire freaking galaxy like Palpatine did.

**Wiz:** A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

**Boomstick:** He said it! He said the line.

**Wiz:** Sheev Palpatine was born on the planet Naboo. While many of the details of his early life are unclear, what is known is that Palpatine was gifted with the force, something that Sith Lord Darth Plagueis noticed, and as a result made young Sheev his apprentice, naming him Darth Sidious.

**Boomstick:** And as payment for teaching him how to use the Force and giving him a badass nickname, Sidious killed his master in his sleep, and became a politician. Because there's no more evil career than one where you can actively lie to the public and still keep your office.

**Wiz:** And this began an extensive career wherein Palpatine slowly manipulated everything in the universe in his favour. He cleverly started disputes and wars of all sorts, in hopes that no-one would notice what he was doing.

**Boomstick:** Hey, it worked. By the time the Jedi suspected something was up, it still took them a decade or so to discover it was him, and even then he was still able to wipe practically all of them out.

**Wiz:** Sidious even somehow found time to train a couple of apprentices while in office: Darth Maul…

**Boomstick:** A criminally underused badass.

**Wiz:** And Darth Tyranus…

**Boomstick:** How DARE he give Christopher Lee's character a name with the word anus in it.

**Wiz:** Fortunately for him, both were killed before they could reveal him as their master.

**Boomstick:** What do you mean? Darth Maul was alive in Solo.

**Wiz:** Do you really want to remember that movie?

**Boomstick:** …not really.

**Wiz:** Anyway, other than Sidious's cunning personality, he's definitely no slouch in terms of power too.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, the dude's pretty good with a lightsabre, being able to take out four of the Jedi guards who came to arrest him with little to no problem.

**Wiz:** Then after that, and taking a face full of lightning to the face, managed to beat Yoda in a lightsabre battle.

**Boomstick:** That's right, freaking Yoda. And despite being nine hundred years old, that little guy can pull off some pretty epic and quick moves.

**Wiz:** Advanced age certainly hasn't dulled the agility of the Sith, since he was able to leap across the room to take on those Jedi guards. Neither did horrific injuries either, since he easily took down Mace Windu after being horribly electrocuted.

**Boomstick:** By the way, that's one of his powers too: he's somehow found a way to command the Force to use lightning too.

**Wiz:** Which Windu was able to redirect at him.

**Boomstick:** The fact that he survived this and kept kicking ass is pretty awesome. Just like how he, like all Jedis and Siths, has some cool psychic powers.

**Wiz:** The Force can do a LOT of things, including be able to lift anything you need, choke people from a distance, and even survive in space with no protective gear for a short while.

**Boomstick:** While Palpatine doesn't use the Force for much other than electrocuting the shit out of people, it can be assumed he can use the Force in all these ways, since he didn't get the title of Sith Lord for nothing.

**Wiz:** His weapon of choice, when lightning isn't an option, is his lightsabre. Lightsabres are basically laser swords that can cut through almost any material except another lightsabre, and the other things it can't cut through are Star Wars universe exclusive materials, so really not that important to the battle at hand.

**Boomstick:** So, what's this guy's weakness? You know, other than being thrown down a hole into a soon to be destroyed Death Star's reactor shaft?

**Wiz:** Well, The Rise of Skywalker trailers are trying to hint that maybe that DIDN'T kill him.

**Boomstick:** HOW?!

**Wiz:** Who knows? But since that film isn't out for another month, and that George Lucas apparently told Ian McDiarmid that the Emperor is dead, we can ignore it and say that throwing him in a reactor shaft will kill him.

**Boomstick:** Hell, he's that old, by the events of Return of the Jedi, he barely walks around much. He's just human enough to be killed by anything that would kill a normal person.

**Wiz:** His powers over the Force would give him some indication that someone's trying to cause him harm, but as Snoke's death indica…

**Boomstick:** NO!

**Wiz:** …what?

**Boomstick:** NO! We are NOT counting Snoke's death as real. It was f**king stupid and didn't make any goddamn sense. NEVER, under ANY circumstance, mention it again.

**Wiz:** …okay, good point. What I meant was the Force can warn you of danger, but it's up to the individual to interpret what that danger is.

**Boomstick:** That's better. But still, Emperor Palpatine didn't spend decades running the universe for nothing.

**Palpatine:** The Alliance... will die. As will your friends. Good, I can feel your anger. I am defenceless. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Once upon a time, the Gaunt family were one of the most powerful and wealthy wizarding families in the world.

**Boomstick:** However, generations of trying to keep the bloodline pure by inbreeding constantly kinda made everyone in the family a psychopath, and ultimately had the opposite effect to what they wanted. Funny how that works.

**Wiz:** Which is probably why Merope Gaunt thought it was a good idea to sneakily give a man named Tom Riddle some love potion so he'd fall in love with her.

**Boomstick:** And how long did she do this for?

**Wiz:** Long enough that she conceived a child. Unfortunately, she decided to stop using the potion, thinking he'd actually fallen in love with her, or would at least stick around for the sake of the child. He didn't.

**Boomstick:** Fortunately for her unborn son, she found an orphanage to give birth at, then died. Wow, that sounds horrifying for the kids there.

**Wiz:** A dead woman was probably the least traumatic things those kids would experience, because the child Merope gave birth to was none other than Tom Riddle Jr.

**Boomstick:** Pfft, no-one's scared of someone named Junior.

**Wiz:** What if I told you he'd one day be known as Lord Voldemort?

**Boomstick:** DUDE! Don't speak his name.

**Wiz:** Despite knowing nothing about his wizarding heritage, Tom somehow figured out a lot about his powers, and had an exceptionally high level of control over them.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, in Harry Potter, wandless magic's meant to be really difficult. But as a kid, BEFORE ATTENDING HOGWARTS, Tom knew how to move objects, control animals, speak to snakes, and was also a sadistic little bastard.

**Wiz:** Sadistic is putting it lightly. Tom once hung a boy's rabbit from the rafters after they got into a fight, and did something so horrifying to two other kids that they couldn't speak about it.

**Boomstick:** Good thing Dumbledore showed up when he was eleven to tell him he was a wizard, otherwise things might have gotten a lot worse.

**Wiz:** Boomstick, he grows up to literally become wizard Hitler. You literally can't get any worse than that.

**Boomstick:** Oh, right. Well, at first Tom assumed that Dumbledore was a doctor there to take him to an asylum, which actually should have happened before this point, but whatever. Dumbledore was hoping to contain Riddle's assholery before it got out of hand. It…didn't work.

**Wiz:** Tom wasn't even surprised that he was a wizard. In fact, he loved the idea, and wanted to use this new found knowledge to continue terrorising his fellow orphans. That is, until Dumbledore told him he'd be kicked out of school for doing that.

**Boomstick:** Tom attended Hogwarts between 1938 and 1945, and considering what was happening in the muggle world during that time, is just a really horrifying form of foreshadowing.

**Wiz:** During his time at Hogwarts, Tom learned hundreds of spells, and was one of, if not the most brilliant wizard of his age. However, Dumbledore never forgot what Tom was like during their first meeting, and so was the only teacher at Hogwarts who tried to figure out whether this model student was for real.

**Boomstick:** Tom started researching his family, and found out that his mother didn't try to use her magic to save herself. He also found out that he was descended from a guy named Salazar Slytherin, one of the founders of Hogwarts and noted muggle hater. This is when he started calling himself Voldemort. Hey, how'd he come up with that name?

**Wiz:** Well, "I am Lord Voldemort" is an anagram of his full name, Tom Marvolo Riddle.

**Boomstick:** Seems like an odd way to name yourself when you're becoming the most evil wizard of all time.

**Wiz:** Yep. Wanna move on to what he's capable of?

**Boomstick:** Yeah, like the fact that he has so much raw magical energy that even Dumbledore admits he couldn't beat Voldy if he was at full strength, and this is the guy that Voldemort's scared of.

**Wiz:** Voldemort's spell of choice is the killing curse, Avada Kedavra, which as you may have guessed, kills whoever it hits in a single blow.

**Boomstick:** Except for that time he used it on Harry Potter…and that other time he used it on Harry Potter. Okay, seriously, being zero for two with a spell that should be one shot one kill is a very bad record to have, especially when one of those times the victim was a baby.

**Wiz:** The first time was when Lily Potter sacrificed herself to save Harry, basically forming a barrier around him with her love, and the second was because Harry was, unbeknownst to everyone, including Voldemort himself, a Horcrux, but every other time he used it the spell has immediately killed his enemy.

**Boomstick:** So, could he win this fight in a single spell?

**Wiz:** Potentially, but remember what happened during the Luke vs Harry battle?

**Boomstick:** Yeah, we'll have to see if this is a repeat, like our Roxas and Dark Pit battle.

**Wiz:** Anyway, there are dozens of others spells it can be assumed Voldemort knows, including the other two Unforgivable Curses: The Cruciatus Curse, Crucio, which inflicts excruciating pain on the victim, and The Imperius Curse, Imperio, which allows you to control another person.

**Boomstick:** There are also non-evil spells he can use, like Accio, the summoning charm; Aguamenti, the water-making Spell; Confundo, the Confundus Charm, which confuses people; Expelliarmus, the Disarming Charm; Obliviate, the Memory Charm; Petrificus Totalus, the Full Body-Bind Curse; and Stupefy, the Stunning Spell. And remember, these are just some of the spells he can presumably use, based on the fact most have been used by far weaker witches and wizards, or the fact they're taught at Hogwarts.

**Wiz:** He also has the ability to Apparate, which is pretty much a fancy word for teleporting; Occlumency and Legilimency, the act of closing one's mind from others and reading one's mind respectively; he could even fly without some kind of item or charm.

**Boomstick:** Hell, the guy doesn't even need a wand or to say the name of his spell in order to cast it. He's even considered immortal thanks to his Horcruxes. Seriously, what kills this guy?

**Wiz:** Well, the big problem with the Horcruxes is that they keep a small piece of his soul, and the destruction of one destroys that part of his soul. On top of that, his body can still be destroyed with anything it can normally be destroyed with, so unless he can track down one of his Horcruxes and revive himself, he's stuck in a state of permanent weakness, so they're not much help.

**Boomstick:** Yeah, he's essentially a squishy wizard with all the weaknesses of being human, so anything that would normally kill a human should kill him too, as long as he doesn't use some kind of magic to heal himself.

**Wiz:** Still, there's a reason the entire wizarding world were afraid to speak the name of Lord Voldemort.

**Voldemort:** There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.

_Scene cuts._

**Wiz:** Alright, the combatants are set. Time to end this debate once and for all.

**Boomstick:** It's time for a Death Battle!

_Scene cuts._

Emperor Palpatine was sitting in the Death Star's control room, watching as Vader was murdered by Magneto on one of the monitors. "These Earthlings," said the Emperor. "They're much more powerful than even I anticipated."

"What should we do now, Emperor?" asked one of the Stormtroopers. "With Lord Vader dead…"

"We go down there, and we conquer them ourselves," said the Emperor. "If they're full of people this powerful, we must make allies with them."

"Are you sure that's wise sir?" asked another Stormtrooper. "Lord Vader attempted to recruit that man, and it didn't work out for him, so…"

"That should not be a problem," said the Emperor. "Men with power like that seek one thing: more power. Prepare my ship."

"Right away sir," said the Stormtrooper, leaving the room.

Thirty minutes later, the Emperor's ship was landing in a field in England, and the Emperor was disembarking. Almost immediately, the Emperor sensed a presence, one with a dark aura. "Scout the area," said the Emperor to a group of Stormtroopers. "I believe there's someone here."

"Yes sir," said one of the Stormtroopers, leaving to see if they could find the source of the Emperor's unease. The group split up to search the nearby area, when suddenly there was an odd sounding scream accompanied by a green flash. The other Stormtroopers turned in that direction, and started firing. However, none were able to hit the noseless man walking towards them, firing green beams at each of them in turn, as each one fell to the ground.

The Emperor watched this calmly, as the last of his troopers hit the ground. "Quite a trick you've got there," said the Emperor, looking up at Voldemort. "Care to share it with me?"

"You want me to share my power with you?" asked Voldemort, eyeing the old man curiously. "And why should I share my magic with a muggle like you?"

"A what?" demanded the Emperor. "You dare insult the Emperor of the Galactic Empire?"

"You dare think you can defeat the most powerful wizard of all time?" asked Voldemort calmly, pointing his wand at Palpatine. "You are nothing compared to the power I command at my fingertips."

The Emperor grabbed his lightsabre and switched it on. "You will die for your arrogance," said the Emperor.

"I've defeated far more powerful witches and wizards than you," said Voldemort. "Come at me with whatever you've got, muggle."

**FIGHT!**

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" yelled Voldemort, waving his wand at Palpatine. Palpatine ducked to the side, and deflected the spell with his lightsabre. Voldemort continued to throw curses at the Emperor, who continued to block and dodge them as he went. "EXPELLIARMUS!" yelled Voldemort. The Emperor attempted to block the spell, only to be thrown back and his lightsabre ripped from his grip. "Not so strong without your weapon, are you?"

"That's what I want you to think," said the Emperor, lifting his arms and shooting lightning at the Dark Lord. Voldemort fell backwards as the shock hit him, and Apparated away. The Emperor got to his feet, and was just in time to dodge another killing curse being fired off behind him.

"A slippery one you are," said Voldemort, keeping his distance from the Sith Lord. "You're not as powerless as I thought. You would do well as my apprentice."

"I was about to say the same thing," said the Emperor, using the Force to pull his lightsabre back to him. "The Empire could use a man of your talents."

"You dare claim I be subservient to another?" demanded Voldemort, pointing his wand at the Emperor. "You are a sorry excuse for a man if you think I would do that. STUPIFY!"

The Emperor again blocked the spell, but didn't see or hear the second, wordless spell Voldemort had cast. The Emperor felt his body tighten up, until he couldn't stand anymore. "What…is…" the Emperor wheezed out, before falling to the ground.

"The body bind curse," said Voldemort, grinning wildly. "You won't be moving anytime soon." Voldemort raised his wand above his head. "Now, do I kill you now, or do I have some fun first?" As Voldemort thought about it, he didn't notice the lightsabre on the ground wiggle a little bit. "I think I'll have some fun. CRUCIO!" The Emperor was silent, but his eyes shot open, clearly in pain and wanting to scream. Voldemort continued to laugh at his victim, as the lightsabre behind him began to float upwards.

"Well, this has been fun," said Voldemort, lowering his wand and pointing it at his opponent. "But now, I think I shall…" Before he could finish his sentence, the lightsabre turned on and sliced through Voldemort's hand, causing him to drop his wand. "WHAT?!" he screamed, as the Emperor regained his mobility.

"Well, this is certainly…SHOCKING!" snapped the Emperor, blasting Voldemort with as much lightning as he could summon. Voldemort lay on the ground, trying to reach for his wand with his remaining hand, as the Emperor picked up his lightsabre with the Force, turned it on, and in one swift motion, swung it through Voldemort's neck. "This is what happens when you underestimate the dark side of the Force."

**K. O.**

**Boomstick:** It WAS a repeat of Luke vs Harry.

**Wiz:** It's true that if Voldemort was able to land a successful killing curse on Palpatine, this battle would be over in seconds. However, Palpatine's use of the Force would have given him warning if he was in danger, and thus given him a chance to defend himself.

**Boomstick:** Voldemort certainly had a wide range of spells to throw at Palpatine, but Palpatine could always summon a bit of lightning to throw his opponent off-guard. Or even just use the Force to do just about anything.

**Wiz:** Palpatine's an intelligent man. You don't manipulate the government for decades to get complete control if you're not smart. He'd figure out sooner or later how's Voldemort's power worked, and be able to shut it down.

**Boomstick:** In the end, it was Force Lightning, go Force Lightning.

**Wiz:** The winner is Emperor Palpatine.

_Scene cuts._

**Boomstick:** Next season on Death Battle…

"I'm a thrill-seeker. I want to travel around the world and get wrapped up in as many crazy adventures as I can. And if I help people along the way, then that's even better. It's a win-win, y'know?"

"I've been waiting a long time for this moment. Soon, Donkey Kong and his pretty little island... will be no more."

"What you gave to me. I now return to you! A one-way ticket to oblivion!"

"I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat!"

"I have to work harder than anyone else to make it! I'll never catch up otherwise...! I want to be like you...! Like you. The strongest hero."

**Author's note: And that wraps up Season 1 of Death Battle. Thank you all so much for reading. I'm going to be taking a bit of a break from this for a little while, but I'll hopefully get back to this at some point (when that is, I don't know at this point). I decide what's next based on the poll on my FFN account, so feel free to check that out and vote if you can to decide what's coming next (it was going to be I Don't Want To Be An Anime Protagonist, until someone decided I needed to do a Cards Against Humanity fic). As for the quotes for next season, all of them are from battles suggested by you guys, so as long as Screw Attack don't use one of them before I get to it, those five will be featured next season. Thanks again guys, and hopefully I'll see you soon.**


End file.
